stupid theories

i cant slp... cant go back 2 slp actually... cos i was woken up by mich's sms... -_- actually nah... nt rilly la... tink its e air-con tt was buggin me la... since i'm still bloody hell sick... its bn 2 whole wks nw... X( anyway, ur bday is drawin near... yet i came out n told u dose terrible tins... haizzz... sum kind of human bein i m... hurtin e ppl who cares abt me... but rite nw, at dis v moment, i dun care... i cant b bothered w/ wat any1 tinks of me... i jus feel like tearin dwn e self i've bn carryin infrnt of u... n b left alone... i hate conflicts so much i'll do anytin 2 release myself 4m it, comin up w/ solutions wch makes me realise hw unfeelin i rilly m... n it all falls in my hands... 2 choose e path of no ret or remain e way u tink i m... either way, i'll never b happy... cos ere's no such tin s bein happy... happy is another made up word, along w/ perfect n definite... in other words, feelins r made up... society tells us dis is wat we shoul feel whn dis or tt haps... so since we r brought up like tt, dese feelins bcome like our "common sense" n so we make em up accordinly... ha... my stupid theories, tt everytin does nt exist... i tink i'm finally tired... i've done enuff damage 4 1 nite... i wish i cou say dis was all jus a joke, but tt wou mean i haf 2 stop blievin in it 1st or erasin e part of me tt came 2 realise all dis...