braw perms

everytin else feels so small compared 2 e financial prob my family is goin thru... its bn goin on 4 sum time, but only 2dae did it start 2 sink in... in fact its only a few hrs ago tt i realised hw much shit we're in... it started w/ my dad sayin hw hi his blood pressure is each time i tok 2 him abt e calls my banker has bn makin 2 me bcos he refuses 2 listen 2 her anymore... n den it hit me, e wat if sumtin hap 2 him tin... i den tok 2 my sis abt it... n i din feel anymore beta.. worse in fact maybe, cos she painted n even worse pic 4 me 2 c... nw it feels like my will 2 preserve my way of life is dyin out... n naturally, tt leads 2 e 1 tin it alwiz leads 2... e tin i've alwiz kept buried inside... lettin it out 2 breathe every once in awhl only... my every train of tots will alwiz b navigated 2 it... a cycle i cant get out of until tins get beta... but i do wonder if all e terrible tins were 2 play out infrnt of me, wat will i do?? will i do wat i haf alwiz believed i wou eventually do whn i hit a wall??