blah blah blah

mall nink

2010-07-23T16:26:00.001+08:00

mich, jus hilite e words on my blog den can read liao... XD ok, so i'm bored at work... i work 9-6pm btw... yeah!!!! finally... like reg office ppl!! n i haf more time 2 play aft work nw!!! ^_^ cons r, my drivin lessons is more ex nw, n i haf 2 wake up at 6am jus 2 bathe, apply whittenin lotion, put on green contacts n set my curly hair... doh i alwiz skip most of it n wake up at 7plus instd... XD den i haf 2 squeeze w/ e crazy office crowd whn i go 2 work n whn i finis work... lunch time is crazy 2 esp whn i eat w/ jas cos she can only eat btwn 12-2pm... but heck!! reg timin is stil way more advantageous dan anytin else man!! plus i get 2 c less of sum1... haha... i dun rilly wanna tok abt work actually, its bascially tirin... but nt physically... jus mentally n emotionally... anyway, bn killin myself w/ plans aft plans since mornin shift started 4 me... suddenly all e tins i was deprived of e past 3 mths, i'm jus crazily plannin tins every single day man... luckily i haven rilly fallen sick yet, close but nt yet... ^_^ borin... my post has no ril meanin 2 it man... so tts it 4 nw la...

earl lock

2010-06-23T19:42:00.002+08:00

my god!!! my fuckin stomach hurts like fuck!! i dunno if its e stupid koi bubble tea i had jus nw or e lunch at dome w/ my mom or my lousy sittin position or cos i drank 2 much cold water all day or i'm 2 excited abt all e plannin i've bn doin all day 4 e nxt jb trip!! FUCK!! i wanna tear my guts out n leave it outside rite nw man!!! its defly nt shittin kinda stomach pain, more like e do 2 much sit ups kinda muscle cramps kind... but it seriously hurt a million times more dan tt i fil lor... T_T

anyway, besides my fuckin painful stomach, i've bn plannin my nxt jb trip w/ jas jus nw... doh she told me she mite nt go 4 e nxt jb trip doh... T_T i nid 2 go back n get colored contacts 4 justine, ey're like only S$17 a pair lor!! get my mom's medical stuff wch r sellin 4 almost 1/2 price ere... mostly tins 4 em la... since daily necessities rnt cheap ere, clothes n shoes r either above my budget or nt v nice all... so i guess i'm basically ere 4 e cheap fd, massage n movie...plus i get 2 slp w/ baby on a bed instd of my pathetic small mattress at hme... anyway, i was excitedly researchin abt it online since jas complained tt we shul add in seafd even doh she mite nt b goin e nxt trip btw... -_-" so s i was sayin, i searched e area ard e seafd plc on google map n found out tt holiday plaza, pelangi plaza, leisure mall n lien hoe complex r nearby... hwever, holiday plaza is 4 dvds games n stuff, pelangi is 4 higher mkt/branded stuff, leisure mall is jus a huge giant supermkt w/ mac n a cinema n lien hoe complex, i had difficulty researchin it... but whl researchin lien hoe complex, i came across dis blog of a sgian mother w/ 4 kids... she shul b abt 40yrs old since she's bn married 4 20 yrs alrdy... so wats so special abt dis mother?? i tink i'm gonna grow up 2 b like her!! but minus e 4 kids la... i'm v aunty whn it comes 2 comparin prices n all... n guess wat she does?? she basically blogs abt whr she went in jb, n states e price 4 every single tin she bought n ate all!! only prob is, she's alwiz tokin abt milk powder n kid's sch stuff like shoes n bags all... but nutin abt clothes n shoes n bags 4 herself all!! my god!! does all girls bcome selfless whn ey bcome a mother?? anyway, i was tellin jasmine tt if i ever had kids, ey're wrin rags!! XP kids treated like princesses n princes will turn out like me!! so no way in hell i'm lettin tt hap!! XD so anyway, curious abt dis mother of 4, i started 2 read more of her other posts bsides e jb 1s... surprisinly, her whole family watches animes 2!! doh her taste rnt rilly similar 2 mine... she liked stuff i tot was borin or so-so n disliked e stuff i tot was super nice!! anyway, i guess i'm jus impressed at her calculativeness la... she makes sure 2 go jb 4 times a yr jus 2 stock up on all e kids' stuff n medicine n all... plus e cheaper dental n petrol 2... alwiz goin in early n comin back by 4pm also... rilly purely a grocery shoppin trip rather dan a wkend shoppin trip like mine... n e best part is yet 2 come, she opned a malaysia bank acct ere!! n i was jus sayin last sat tt i shul go chk deir banks out n opn 1 ere so tt i cou rid goin 2 e chinatown money changer n lettin em earn 100-200 pips lor!! my plan is basically 2 use mh's ig mkts acct n convert e SGD 2 MYR at interbank rate wch is only a few pips diffe instd lor... den TT e money str 2 e malaysia bank acct b4 we go jb... cos ig mkts has no deposit or w/drawal charges wat!!! so u save on e currency exchange rates!! ^_^ i noe u guys tink i'm crazy cos it'll at most only save us a couple of dollars each trip... but hey, in e long run, i save EARL LOCK!!! haha... XD anyway, here's a story 4m her blog wch i liked... enjoy!!

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,

drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother.

As they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her
glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance
upon her daughter..

'Don't forget your sisters,' she advised, swirling
the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll
be more important as you get older. No matter how
much you love your husband, no matter how much you
love the children you may have, you are still going
to need sisters. Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them..'

'Remember that 'sisters' means ALL the women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other
women relatives too. 'You'll need other women.
Women always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman
thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely
my husband and the family we may start will be all I
need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact
with her sisters and made more women friends each
year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her mother really
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature
work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,
sisters are the mainstays of her life...

After more than 50 years of living in this world,
here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end..

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other..

Every day, we need each other still.

skin knee

2010-06-22T17:05:00.003+08:00

i miss bein skinny... or at least skinnier dan nw... like 5 kgs less... 45kg... haizzz... i cant belif i wanna b 45kg whn i used 2 tink tt 42kg is ideal but 39kg wou b best... XD nw tt i tink abt it, i prob haf 2 eat nutin 2 b tt skinny liao lor... anyway, every1's bn tellin me i'm fat, even my own mom wanna send me 4 slimmin treatment la... T_T i've bn lookin at my old photos esp e ones b4 baby n i were 2gether... T_T i wan my old body back!!!!! X( i wasnt like super skinny, but i din haf giant tighs n arms or a huge belly lor... n my face wasnt e chubbiest tin u saw either... T_T so anyway, i noe its e xxx makin me fat, or is it?? maybe its e increased amts of fd i eat nw or e lack of exercise or sumtin else... but anyway, i tink i'll start w/ e sauce diet... s all of u noe, i eat sauces like ey were e main course... XD plus cheese 2... omg!!! does dis mean i cant eat so much cheese 2!??! but cheese is nt under sauces ba... XD hmmm... if i stay away 4m cafe cartel, pizza hut n all other pizza plcs, i shul b able 2 go cheese free ba... ok, 4 e sake of my old 45kg body, i shul stop w/ e extreme cheese eatin habit la... haizzzz... T_T sugar is still sumtin i cant cut dwn doh... i mite s well only drink plain water 4m nw on lor... its ptless 2 drink tasteless swt drinks anyway... so i'll stil tink abt it... s 4 exercisin, hmmmmmmmm... 2 lazy 2 wake up early 2 go joggin... plus i dun like joggin... rather blade, but cant get fried by e sun, n baby doesnt like exercisin at nite... T_T my frens r actually goin 2 swim on wkdays evenins whl i'm stuck at work lor!! X( i'm stil workin on e exercisin part, but doubt i'll do much exercisin doh... since it doesnt seem 2 work on me also anyway... XD n lastly, xxx... gif it up?? haizzz... i'll cont tinkin abt it la...

regret la

2010-04-22T18:39:00.002+08:00

yes, i'm damn bored... I actually fell asleep on my desk jus now... I think i snored too... X( shit man... I slept at almost 5am yesterday nigh an wake upp at 8plus am this mornin la... Tats why so tire... Went to watch kick ass wit justine inn e mornin, rushed back to work at one, den afte turnin on my office comp, went off wit justine to eat lunch for an hour... Den she went home an i'm stuck here at work wit nothin to do again... So bored tat i fell asleep an snored! T.T mich iz now waitin for mi to finis work an iz going home to change an rest all... Once i finis work den wi'll meet upp awhile for a chat an stuff... My dad jus called mi an ask mi if i can take e rest of e nigh off so tat can go eat temple dinner wit him... It was so temptin... But i'm stil full from lunch... Plus its already 6plus, so its not worth it to take half day off liao... An also i might s well go meet mich like tat right... An den i realised somethin... Regret la! I shul have jus taken e whole day off today! Den i dint have to rush here an ere wit justine inn e mornin, an wi coul have gone shoppin afte tat also... Den when she goes for temple dinner wit my dad, i'll jus meet mich an hang all... Afte tat, wi might even have time to play L4D wit gary if hee finis work late... Haizzz... So pek chek ... Now i stil have 3hrs more to go... I doubt i can jus keep bloggin for 3hrs strait though... Sianz...

job change

2010-04-22T02:47:00.002+08:00

damn it... Cant sleep... Seldom happens since i changed job actually... I wake upp pretty late an yet i stil norm feel tire by midnigh... Yeah... New job... :) s a director summo... XD But no power wat so ever... So sad... Stil like a worker ere... Jus director inn name only... E workin hrs of one to ten iz half goood an bad... But more bad i think... I miss out on all e fun others have afte ey knock off at 6pm... By e time i'm done, everyone's going home liao... T.T an i have so little time left wit my baby liao... :( hee stil tries to come down an eat dinner wit mi all... But i guess its very tiring for him... Beca my work's at an expensive place... Hee alwiz grumbles bout e parkin an erp here... Wi had wendy's jus now... Was really nice! An not tat ex too! I wanna go try their cheap 4 bucks meal promos next time! An their frosty ice-cream stuff! Though wi also bought back ben an jerry's ice-cream jus now... Tried e new cookie affair flavor, so so only... Bit too sweet an i guess i'm jus not a fan of cookies an cream... Anyway, enough bout ice-cream, work's been really really borin! I seriously go ere an do NUTIN all day... An its already been 3 months over liao... I cant believe i actually wanna work so badly... Since i'm alwiz e kind tat loves to eat s much snake s i can... Though its nice to finally earn so much for a change... Heh... If business really kicks off an stabilises... My dad will also earn alot from it since hee's e shareholder... Haha... Yes, i'm stil relyin on my dad... Wit no qualifications, i'm really lucky to get this job man... I hope it really goes well so tat baby an i can lead a comfortable life together... An agent actually informed us tat ere was a flat going for 300k at dakota! An e location was damn goood! I was so excited, but when wi drove pass e place, baby said it was a really old flat... :( i hope its still nice inside though... Or hopefully e agent stil got other goood available flats for us... Dint expect her to reply us afte wi told her our 300k budget actually... XD But on one hand i'm worried its too soon for us to get our own place wit not much money all, on e other hand i scare e flat prices will cont to rise plus i really like this area too... Its like such a waste to miss this opportunity like tat... Really hope wi can make e right decision all ba... O ya... Dint mention tat i've been going to church right? Well, stil tryin to feel somethin from it, but nothin... Every wk i go ere an try my best not to fall asleep... Haizzz... I really think ere's no hope for mi man... I'm meant to die a non believer... Though, i do feel its actually beta to think tat wi die an ere's nothin afte tat... Its less tiring tat way... Den to go on to heaven or hell... Anyway, i guess e road's stil long for mi, tins i used to say i'd never do are somehow changin for mi now... Its scary how much i can change inn 7, 8 years man... But hopefully i can one day become a person tat my baby wont wanna leave... ~.~

richin hymn

2010-03-17T01:35:00.003+08:00

i give upp! Stupid rules like not allowin my baby to stay over an shit! Such an o fashion family i have here! An its unfair! Everybody else gets to do it too! Plus my stupid sister used to have her bf stayin over all e time my parents were overseas! Fuck ! Life jus doesn't seem to work out well if hee cant stay over la... All e late nights an him havin to drive home late iz all yr fault! If somethin bad happens to him its all yr fault! Shit! I'm pissed off tat i cant do shit! An i don wanna rush into marriage either... I wish i had more money... Buy a stupid condo instead an live ere wit my baby! But tat doesn't work either, it'll be either inn a bad location or wont be built finis til dunno when... Damn it! Nothin works! I cant jus live wit him anytime soon... But i also don understand why its so unbearable to not be wit him for even a day... An why e hell woul i one us to live together an see each other when wi wake an all like how families do... Wat if wi get sick of each other this way? But somehow i don care, i stil one it anyway... I feel like i need e security tat hee's ere right beside mi breathin e same air s mi... Tat i can rich him easily...

er loan

2009-10-20T17:05:00.002+08:00

hmmm... its back again... e depressed mood n feel n tots... everytins jus ptin 2 i'll eventually b all alone... ere's jus a huge wrong abt me tt makes ppl leave me... i'm borin, naggy, cheapo, negative n a huge blob of depressiveness... n i m blind... blind 2 e line tt anybody w/ common sense wou noe nt 2 cross... i do tins in extreme... no 1 will tolerate dis flaw of mine 4eva... i say tins tt hurt ppl w/out feelin shit... n only feel bad whn ey tell me so... n all i wun b able 2 say sorry or anytin tt wou make it beta so i'll jus tink hw terrible a person i m, so y r u stil botherin 2 stay w/ me?? leave, u'll all b happier bein NT ard me... i only say tins tts unpleasant anyway... no 1 will understd my world... correction, its nobody in deir rite mind wou eva wanna noe anytin abt my world... ey jus wan me 2 get out of my own world n join em in deirs...

fei ache

2009-10-15T14:20:00.003+08:00

1stly, i was despressed in e mornin n wanted 2 blog abt dis actually... but i'm no longer in tt depressed mood nw actually... so anyway, ere's alwiz bn dis fear inside me... tt ppl will find out i've got no heart... i calc alot... n its 2 e pt whr i dun tink i've got any ril filins left actually... i've mentioned on my blog quite a few times... wats ril n wats nt?? y do i fil tt e care n love i gif ppl r jus calc decisions... none of em r genuine anymore... its more like sensible logic 2 me... nt love... nt ril filins at all... n i've alwiz wondered if, i'm nt wrong... maybe i'm nt e only 1 born w/out filins, so r e others... but s we grow up, we learn 2 care 4 ppl, n sumhw, it bcomes common sense 2 em... so ey dun qn or reject it... whl i unfortunately, cldnt make myself succumb 2 dis make blif n blif tt i care 4 ppl naturally... but it cou also b tt we r born w/ filins... ey r genuine, but i'm jus in denial n i cant seem 2 trust my heart... so e care n love i shower ppl w/ jus doesnt feel ril, its all jus effort, nt 4m e heart but 4m e brain... or maybe i'm jus born wrong... i'm e only 1 w/ no heart... god or wateva overlooked n created every other parts of my body includin a physical heart, but 4got 2 add e magical touch of ril genuine filins... so i'm incomplete... haf alwiz known tt i'm incomplete... i try 2 get sum1 2 fill up e hole, but along e r/s, i jus realise hw big e hole rilly is n tt no one's big enuff 2 ever fill it up... doom... i'm jus destined 2 b resigned 2 doom... resigned 2 a life of nvr seein any meanin in it... dyin w/out anytin aft tt... pure emptiness... wch i m nt unhappy abt actually... aft death shul b like tt aftall... but ppl will nvr accept or understd me nw whn i'm livin... n i'll grow old alone?? whn will my baby gif me up?? whn will i die n acceptance will den nt b nided anymore??

yi mould

2009-10-08T17:08:00.003+08:00

great i jus cut my finger rilly deep on my jeans zipper!! X( but tts nt e pt of dis post... anyway, jus fil like tokin abt me... e v tin tt shuldnt rilly exist on earth actually... negative is practically my ril name u noe... i dun trust ppl actually... i believe in wat ey say most of e time, n easily 2... but if i'm nt told by em directly, my 1st tots wou b, "great, ey hate me nw,", "we're prob nt frens anymore", "ey'll prob nt tok or meet w/ me anymore liao ba", "nw ey realise hw horrible a person i m"... sumwhr along dose lines... i guess i jus tink every1's jus born rotten like me, so its rilly a matter of whether ey wanna try bein nice or nt... i've alwiz tot tt we dun ponder if we shul do bad tins or nt, cos ey actually come out naturally... n we haf 2 hesitate n ponder 1st b4 we can decide on doin sumtin gd or nice... ok, i'm rilly draggin dis quite abit w/ lotsa stupid analogies of mine... so i shul jus get str 2 e pt... yes, i do tink bonds dun last 4eva... its weird tt i din tink so whn i was yger actually, even doh i was even more depressed n negative den... maybe i haf actually bcome worse aftall even doh i m truly more happy abt my life nw actually... anyway, driftin off again... -_-" since i was 22? it hit me tt frens doesnt last 4eva... ey'd eventually find deir other halfs n haf no time 4 me or even a common topic w/ me anymore... n we'd feel draggy n borin whn we hang out 2gether... tts wat i tot back den whn every1 had a bf i tink... nw's nt exactly e same actually, i'm w/ sum1, but my best fren isnt... but its stil happenin, i'll eventually haf no time or topics w/ my frens... i'll prob lose my best fren... maybe we'll still b frens... but nt best frens anymore... n y i say so?? its rilly triggered by lil fights we haf i guess... n i'd alwiz go in2 my negative mode immdly... w/ e last fight abt e nite safari, i tink tt she's prob had e last straw... n realised i'm nt worth 2 b called her best fren anymore... cos bonds rnt alwiz strong... even if ey were once rilly strong like steel, ey'd stil crumble whn e time comes, like death... 2 me, death robs everytin away... nutin remains... nt a single speck of u or ur filins n shit... so maybe tts y i cant trust ppl, cos it doesnt matter if u make or break any of e bonds in yr lifetime anyway... cos it will eventually amt up 2 nutin whn u die... doh all e livin will prob say otherwise... but if i'm correct, ere is only pure emptiness aft death... u cant feel anytin u felt whn u were stil alive... so no happiness n no burden of e 1s u left bhind... so back 2 my pt, i dun trust ppl, i alwiz tink ey'll cheat on me, leave me, abandon me, walk out on me, basically, i'll b alone eventually... cos bonds AREN'T tt strong........

there thee

2009-09-20T13:27:00.004+08:00

i tink its rilly time i stopped relyin on e person who takes care of e roof ova my head, e fd on my table, e utilities i use, e occasional car ride 2 my work n stuff... w/out my dad, n my mom 2 since she washes my clothes ~_~, i'd had a taste of wat hardship is like... wch i've prob nvr bn thru b4 in my whole 24yrs of livin... i hate it whn ppl tell me 2 lk at unfortunate ppl w/ no $$ or limbs n shit, cos seriously, deir misfortunate has zilch 2 do w/ me... i'm exaggeratin whn i say i haf a heart devoid of feelins, but i do tink tt its lackin quite abit in e sympathy/morals/conscience dept... call me arrogant, but i do tink i was born lucky, n it may even b true tt my way of tinkin ruined dis lucky life of mine wch cou haf had a future... n if it were possible i shul go 4 a ttl brainwash... reborn myself again... start 4m scratch, n hopefully dis time ard i dun walk dwn dis same dreaded path n instd bcome a norm beta person worthy of life... but i'd den also 4get abt my bond w/ e ppl i care abt nw... mainly my baby n frens... i do tink its fine 2 restart my relationship w/ my family again doh... esp my dad... i wanna stop tinkin n bein e pampered lil girl of his who does wateva she ones jus bcos she noes he'll gif in 2 her eventually... anyway enuff w/ fantasy... e pt of dis post, wch is actually ptless 2 blog abt in e 1st plc, is prob jus 2 jot dwn a promise or resolution i hope i can fulfill in e near future... i wanna lead a life w/ no strings attached... no more bickerin w/ my dad every mornin abt quittin my job n doin businesses n investments w/ him... no more tokin abt travellin all ard e world or movin 2 another country... n def no more askin me 2 find sum1 else beta 2 replc my baby... i've had enuff of doin tins 4 my dad jus bcos i owe him dis comfortable life of mine... i wanna gif it all up... e comforts of everytin in my life fed 2 me on a silver spoon... so, i'm gonna MOVE OUT n rent a plc of my own, n it wou b most preferrable if my baby wou come stay w/ me doh... XD i noe tt wou look like i'm jus shiftin my reliance on2 my baby, but i'll try 2 do more dis time... like washin my own clothes, cookin my own meals, payin my own bills... ok, except doin hsework... i wonder if i stil got enuff $$ left 2 hire my current cleaner aunty 2 clean my hse at least once a wk or once in 2 wks... dis whole plan prob sounds ridiculous... i'd prob luff my head off in e future whn i read back on all dese rash impulsive scribbles of mine... cos atm, it looks like its 95% impossible... but no harm plannin rite?? 1st tin 1st, i gotta start lookin 4 cheap rent near here, wch is near my work plc actually... hmmm... prob only got geylang liao... T_T

sei cannin

2009-04-06T12:00:00.004+08:00

i beta nt get sick... cos i jus took 3 days mc last mth 4 food poisonin, -_-" n if i took mc again dis mth, its gonna reflect badly on me 2 my boss... n cut off is comin also... so cant afford 2 get sick nw, plus i'm gonna celeb my 2nd mth w/ my baby dis fri!!! X( so pls pls dun let me get sick!! but my neck hurts like crap nw... its like ready 2 fall off anytime soon man... n e tin stuck at my throat refuses 2 go away, plus i haf 2 keep blowin my nose every so often.... T_T ahhh... i feel like takin mc nw n rest b4 all e tins i haf 2 do startin thu onwrds... X(

braw perms

2008-12-16T01:10:00.001+08:00

everytin else feels so small compared 2 e financial prob my family is goin thru... its bn goin on 4 sum time, but only 2dae did it start 2 sink in... in fact its only a few hrs ago tt i realised hw much shit we're in... it started w/ my dad sayin hw hi his blood pressure is each time i tok 2 him abt e calls my banker has bn makin 2 me bcos he refuses 2 listen 2 her anymore... n den it hit me, e wat if sumtin hap 2 him tin... i den tok 2 my sis abt it... n i din feel anymore beta.. worse in fact maybe, cos she painted n even worse pic 4 me 2 c... nw it feels like my will 2 preserve my way of life is dyin out... n naturally, tt leads 2 e 1 tin it alwiz leads 2... e tin i've alwiz kept buried inside... lettin it out 2 breathe every once in awhl only... my every train of tots will alwiz b navigated 2 it... a cycle i cant get out of until tins get beta... but i do wonder if all e terrible tins were 2 play out infrnt of me, wat will i do?? will i do wat i haf alwiz believed i wou eventually do whn i hit a wall??

kong fools

2008-12-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

i'm fes 2dae... i'm nt esw... was it e boe part?? havin my ffl dis is killin me... 1/2 of me wanna wah 4 it, e other 1/2 jus wanna guo it n go fse... maybe its bcos of xmas... it pressures me 2 fab cos i dun wba durin dis time of e yr... but thru-out my 22 yrs of life, i stil haven spend iws special... e other twc cos it was more like 1hr wmo n e rest was w/ hsd... -_- i rilly wonder y i was bit 1st plc whn i'm so bloody oad 4m every1... w/ a fss no 1 will eva b able tam at all... anyway, i haf 2 stop wtb al dis shit la... gd nite...

juice meat

2008-12-05T01:56:00.003+08:00

i'm rilly n idiot... chasin aft sumtin ich... feelin happy or sad ova yea...
n even dts u said u liked... i dunno wat i shul sod jus so u wcm instd... but on
e other hand, i'm stil fou... no confidence watsoeva tt i can even myl me in
e 1st plc... n ere's stil e "i wou jus b a bty tin 2"... cos ere's sumtin
seriously wwm... but all i can tink of rite nw is whn will i sya... X(

sliplast knights

2008-11-17T04:11:00.003+08:00

wats w/ sun nites?? i cant seem 2 slp b4 e big work day called mon!! X( last sun i only slpt 1 hr la!! n dis time, i slpt at 12plus n i'm awake nw at 3am... damn it!!!! n later i got a super long n borin meetin 2 attend 2 summo!! its freakin 3 hrs long!! w/ all my bosses sittin ard me!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... help!! i'm afraid wat my supervisor said is gonna come true!! me fallin off my chair!! i nid 2 slp damn it!! T_T

anyway, i saw sw's sms... 1stly, surprised she actually rids my blog... haha... go set up a blog 2 lea... den i can put ur name on my links col!! ^_^ n u can leave it s dead s jas' blog w/ e only movin tin bein ur tagbrd... XD anyway, thanks 4 e sms.... but i'm ok la... i WAS upset only 4 tt 1 day only la... i'm fine nw liao... n i tink i nid tt kind of wake up call also anyway... cos i haf screws loose n lack of common sense sumtimes, ok i mean most of e times... XD so its beta 4 me 2 realise such tins also la...

hmmm... ok, it seems it has come 2 e time of e nite whr i feel like tokin abt issues i norm dun tok abt... so here goes... i tink logically, i'm fine bein alone w/out a partner... but tt stupid longin feelin creeps up every nw n den... i also cant understd y either, whn i clrly noe, i've got no time in e 1st plc 4 anymore unnecessary tins in my life... n also i def dun wanna get hurt by e v tin wch i consider jus a luxury n nt a necessity... n ere's e burdenin tt other person tin 2 bcos of e kind of wrong person i m... its like everybody's left or rite, but i'm neither... i'm jus odd shaped... so i cant fit well w/ any of e left or rite ppl... i'd haf 2 try 2 imitate either a left or rite person whn i'm w/ sum1... n whn i'm finally exhausted of actin n start 2 tear dwn tt facade n jus b myself, tt wou b e end of e relationship... tts jus so meaninless 2 even try bein w/ another lor... unless i can find another odd shaped 1 jus like me... wch prob will nvr hap... -_- y isnt ere any1 else who tinks life's rubbish???? T_T anyway, it doesnt rilly matter actually, i gave it up alrdy... i'm alwiz able 2 gif up on tins anyway, tts e way i've tot myself 2 grow up... n life's jus much easier 2 live tt way... doh every nw n den, i still haf 2 fight off tins i used 2 desire, tins i gave up... its like a nvr-endin battle... life's a stupid nvr-endin battle til we finally die... damn it!!! X(

end an

2008-11-16T01:20:00.002+08:00

another chpt of my life has finally closed ba... a 2 yr long chpt... i rilly tot i was gonna do wat i did 4 e rest of my life, but life's jus like tt huh... unpredictable n ever-chngin... nw a new chpt has started 4 me, but i seriously dunno hw long it'll last 2... but i dun rilly fil like tokin abt it liao... cos i tink 4 e past 3wks i've bn workin ere, i've toked abt it non-stop... n ere's a limit 2 hw much ppl can take... but bein me, i will alwiz push ova e limit n annoy ppl b4 i get it... well, i m actually a talkative person since yg... but whl goin thru life's experiences, i start 2 fear tokin... but every once in awhl, it gets unleashed esp whn i get excited ova sumtin... i was rilly close 2 bein a mute 4 e past few mths of my prev job... all i cou do was play bridge n listen 2 wat every1 had 2 say... but aft switchin 2 dis new job, i got my voice back... but unfortunately, its e irritatin voice la... n besides irritatin, its also rilly mean... so even doh u guys say u love me, ere's a limit 2 tt love... n i may 1 day eventually go over tt limit...

anyway, i watched a live-action jus nw wch said tt love is painful n tough... n seriously, i rilly do agree, i wou rather stay ignorant n block-headed 4eva den 2 fil 4 ppl... n dis feelin is alwiz qn n ridiculed by my mind... i jus cant blif in it in e 1st plc... i dun trust it bein genuine at all... ere's jus no such tin s self-sacrifice, ere's only calculations... so its rilly stupid 2 get hurt by sumtin fake...doh e hurt is also arranged 2 take plc accordinly thanks 2 e calculations, thus makin it fake in a way 2... -_- rubbish... its all rubbish!! pls.... i dun wan so many chpts or pgs in my life pls..................

dear justine

2008-08-22T17:13:00.007+08:00

ok, since u're nt msgin me whn u're online... here's e animes u haf 2 use azureus/vuze to d/l... k? click on e links below n click on opn, den go 2 azureus/vuze n click d/l... sms my sin hp or comment here 2 let me noe whn ey've finis d/lin n haf moved 2 e bttm box... i'll gif u further instructions later...

tts all 4 nw... ere's summo, but i'll post em another time... best 2 rite click on e links above n select opn in new window... or u'll haf 2 keep re-visitin dis site jus 2 click on e other anime links... let me noe whn ur done settin up all ese above 10 animes 4 d/l... n has my hataraki man 8 finis d/lin?

anymay were

2008-06-04T02:45:00.001+08:00

cant slp... damn it... i rilly nid 2 live in n anime world man... den at least i can jus b worryin abt e evil forces tryin 2 invade us instd...

whored whereder

2008-05-22T03:49:00.001+08:00

dis hot weather is rilly killin me man... i'm sweatin like 24/7 unless e air con's on... n e air con doesnt even feel cold anymore... even cold water here isnt cold anymore... rilly came back at e wrong time man... n it was gettin rilly cold ere summo... wch made me wished i were back here 2 escape 4m e cold ere... but i immediately regretted tt once i came back here... =_="

anyway, i'm supposed 2 b slpin nw but i cant slp... cos i had a 3 hrs nap in e day... -_- ate 2 much 4 lunch la, so i couldnt fend off e slpiness... n nw, i'm hungry!! like rilly hungry til i wanna puke like tt... maybe tts y i cant slp also la... i put on like 3 freakin kgs thanks 2 aust's junk n more junk... X( so i decided 2 stop eatin dinner... it was goin well at 1st, i lost nearly 2kgs by dis mornin, but aft 2dae's super heavy lunch n nap, i'm nearly back at whr i started again!! X( like WTF!!!

anyway, even w/ dis kind of ridiculous weather, i'm stil rilly happy 2 b hme la... i rilly dun wanna go overseas anymore, esp whn i've jus developed e fear of takin a plane... i rilly tot i was gonna die on e way back here lor!! X( but my dad's alrdy started lookin 4 cheap accommodation in london... T_T i dun wanna gooooooooooo........

peek cheers

2008-05-10T20:32:00.003+08:00

mich, here's ur pic request dedication... enjoy!! ^_^

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$3.33 jayjays 3 quarts

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$3.33 jayjays shorts

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$13.95 tightrope skinnies

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$3.33 jayjays shorts

AUD$3.33 jayjays top

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$3.33 jayjays 3 quarts

AUD$3.33 jayjays top

AUD$3.33 jayjays top n AUD$3 piping hot board shorts

AUD$3.33 jayjays top

AUD$3.33 jayjays shorts

AUD$3.85 target shorts

AUD$5 ice shorts

AUD$6 ice dress

back view of e same dress... XD

walkin fashion disaster ~_~"

cute fluffy boots

my hair

2 A.I.s n a girl

sydney opera hse 4 lunch

sch boy raidin e fridge

sch boy makin lunch

sch boy waitin 4 sch bus XD

sch boy eatin ice-cream

sch boy shocked by big potato XD

monkey c, monkey do XD

victim 1: monarc indulge, characteristic: triple mudcake, height: 1 litre, last seen: 19 April 2008

victim 2: cadbury triple chocolate, characteristic: triple chocolate, height: 2 litre, last seen: 5 May 2008

e BIG umbrella... o! n my parents 2... ~_~"

givin dis man a nose job 2 help him w/ his nose frustrations, since he cant let go of his newspp... XD

hey, i found a feet washin fountain!! XD

cute cab(wch prohibits elephant passengers doh... so mich, u cant ride on dis 1... XP)

ultraman's ultra mobil

e choc shop at berry town

bored of e nvr-endin farmlands ey haf here... -_-

alifya, angele, cam, jas, mich, sw, winnie n many others...XD

many cammies goin 4 a suntannin session gone horribly wrong... XD

eskimo spotted at e beach!! XD

hype store!!

taken by jess whl i was slpin... U_U

e flr mess i created... XP

e sofa mess

e study area mess

e kitchen mess, dis hse is rilly messy man... -_-

AUD$2.50 kleins slippers

AUD$10 strandbags wallet

dad's new hat from jayjays

me n e twins goin 4 our 1st dinner outin... XD

e twins fast aslp in e car on e way hme aft a fillin korean dinner... XD

i noe it looks funny but no choice, its gettin freakin colder each day man!! X(

tts all e bandwidth i haf 4 mich's pic request dedication... XD so tata~~~ cya guys ril soon!! ^_^

ahdeedust medeeroo

2008-05-04T01:09:00.006+08:00

i finally bought a pair of adidas sneakers 2dae!! ^_^ rilly tot i werent gonna find any sneakers here cos ey r all freakin ex here lor... but dis pair only cost me AUD$20!! ^_^

i spotted dis pair of twins at a super discount hype store... hype is like e cool sneakers shop at orchard cine, jus tt dis 1 is bigger n has outlets everywhr la... anyway, even doh discounted, e AUD$100++ sneakers were stil goin at AUD$80 or sumtin, stil abof my budget, til i finally laid eyes on 1 of e midiru twins on e 'last pairs' shelf... n e AUD$20 price tag ttly made my eyes turn in2 stars... *_* ey fit me jus nice cos size 6 is my feet size, but i alwiz liked it bigger like size 7 doh... ~_~" but AUD$20 4 n adidas sneakers!! so i bought it anyway even doh knowin ere was a defect on 1 of my twins actually... ~_~ well, 1stly, let me jus show u a pic of my lil angels still in deir nest...

cute rnt ey?? o!! ey're identical twins btw... XD but wats e defect?? let's jus keep lookin...

my lil brightie is on e left n my lil fadedie is on e rite... stil dun c e defect?? keep lookin den...

(4m left 2 rite: fadedie, brightie)

nw u c it dun u?? e names i gave em were a gif away alrdy anyway... XD yes yes, 1 of my darlings has a skin pigmentation flaw... cos lil fadedie bathed 2 much under e spotlites, thus she is slightly more pale den lil brightie... T_T poor child... n poor me 2... gotta go out w/ em n suffer e humiliatin stares of un-understdin others!! X(

but hell, w/ tt kinda receipt, who cares anymore man... AUD$99.95 discount!! XD so i'll jus haf 2 learn 2 get used 2 other ppl's funny stares den!! XP

omg!! cute or wat!? my babies' lil cute butts!! XD

sebuntein mei

2008-04-28T12:54:00.003+08:00

yes, i'm comin hme 2 sg on 17 may... so stop askin alrdy... -_- anyway, woohoo!! only 19 days 2 go!! ^_^ n i can leave dis hell hole... still rilly hate it here... last thu, we went 2 kiama...its a town south of sydney n near e coast... it was borin n pathetic... -_- e shoppin centre ere was small n closes freakin early... e motel ere was nutin much but ex sia... abt AUD$150/nite 4 1 of e cheaper 1s wch we chose in e end la... n 2 make matters worse, i got sick e mornin we left 4 dis lil trip... so i was in a shitty condition alrdy, n it was even colder ere n rainin most of e time 2... X(

den whn dinner time came, ere was no mac or any other fast foods ard at all... so my dad wanted 2 jus buy supermarket food n bring back 2 our rm 2 cook n eat... -_-" but jess wanted 2 go 2 a nice seafood rest 2 eat since we drove all e way dwn here alrdy anyway... n ey decided on e nice lil seafood rest rite on e beach... fine dinin n all, i had a bad feelin abt dis 1, i actually wanted e take-away rest rite bside dis 1 actually... so we sat dwn n looked at e menu... O_O" it sure was ex, every dish was abof AUD$20 except 4 bread at AUD$5, n ey even had a hot n cold platter at a whoopin AUD$172!! O_O mad or wat... n so, we shamelessly apologized n left e plc... XD den we walked 2 e take-away rest n ordered 1 fish n chips n 1 seafood n chips wch only cost us under AUD$30 n even lasted us 4 2 meals lor... XD

e nxt day, we decided 2 go back 2 sydney la, since e lodgin rates increased cos its e wkends n ere's seriously nutin ere!! n we couldnt go 2 jamberoo park, a water amusement park, cos i was sick n e weather was rainy n cold... so we drove ard, n ended up drivin along acres n acres of farmland... grass n fences n cows n horses n sheeps n heaps more of e same tins ova n ova again... -_-" i was at 1st fascinated by e cows bcos ey reminded me of u girls, XP n i kept takin pics of em so tt i can show u girls hw ur fellow species r in aust... XD

den we got rilly bored n drove further south 2 a town called berry, n stopped at a choc shop tt served v ex chocs n hot choc, choc coffee, choc tea, everytin w/ choc la basically... ^_^ but unfortunately, i was stil sick so i couldnt haf any of e chocs or hot choc!! X( den nxt was a choc factory, isnt it unfair tt we're goin 2 all ese plcs whn i'm freakin sick!! X( but e factory was pathetically small, so we were out in no time, den another south-er town called nowra, borin... -_-

den it got late, like 4pm... -_-" nutin else 2 c cos ey're all close, so we started 2 head back 2 sydney... n e journey back was hell man... cos we had 2 drive up n dwn steep, windin, squeezy rds, n its 2 way summo!! only 1 lane 4 each direction lor!! n no mirrors 2 inform u of oncomin cars ard e bends!! but it sure felt like we were in n initial D movie sia, minus e driftin, e speed n e music la... XD n we were drivin in almost ttl darkness on e big highways back 2 sydney la, cos ere were almost no st lamps at all, only our car lites n reflectors on e grd... so 4 e.g. if u wanted 2 cut 2 e nxt lane, den u jus look at ur side mirror n if it looks completely pitch black, tt mins ere's no cars ere n u can cut ova... -_-" crazy dangerous man...

almost 4hrs later, we were finally hme exhausted n all... but 1stly, we had 2 unpack all e luggages n stuff out of e car... n mind u, we had actually packed 3 days worth of clothes, snacks, even cookin appliances ~_~", mine n jess' laptops n alot more la... n jess' small car has almost no boot space summo, so we had 2 squeeze 1/2 e stuff in e back seat btwn my mom n i... -_-" all tt work 4 nutin... X(

but i'm glad our trip was cut short, cos i prefer lazin at hme everyday den goin out n seein/experiencin ppl/tins i dun like... -_- o! n i got well like last nite!! so i'm back 2 eatin junk again!! XD maybe cos e weather here in sydney is warmer n beta la... i can wr like 3 quarts n slippers here most of e time, n on gd days, even short shorts!! ^_^ wch reminds me, on e way 2 kiama, we stopped by a big shoppin centre at shellharbour town n i bought more stuff 4m jayjays again!! ~_~ a short shorts n a 3 quarts n my dad also bought a brd shorts 2 combine w/ mine 2 make it 3 items 4 AUD$10... XD n he also added a cool hat wch cost like AUD$5 only... i tink i'll b wrin e hat more den him doh... XD

seed knee

2008-04-20T00:05:00.001+08:00

4get e past 1 wk ova tt i've bn in sydney, i cant quite rmb every detail alrdy anyway... so lucky u guys, u're off e hook 4m my long borin essay-like entries... -_- anyway, by bein here, it made me realise/rmb sumtin... u noe hw i'm nt racist rite?? but i'm def nationalist... i hate, no. 1 china ppl, no. 2 malaysian ppl, no. 3 australian ppl... china ppl 4 bein e way most of em r, malaysian ppl, nid i elaborate?? u noe my history w/ em rite?? -_- n australian ppl... god... ey irritate me... i hate everytin abt em, abt hw racist ey r, hw ey speak, hw ey're like e unpolished versions of british ppl... n i hate it whn ey go "blah blah mate!" it jus irks me out 2 hear tt word "mate"!! X( anyway, its def ova my dead body 2 eva move here... i hate e way deir country works, n even doh ey're a country rich in commodities, but seriously, 2 me, it jus feels like a hill billy who jus realised ey're actually sittin on a land of gold, so ey start 2 sell off deir gold n attain tt rich status, but isnt tt like jus depletin ur assets?? it'll eventually b used up 1 day lor... anyway, bsides tt, its so freakin dangerous here, my sis lives in a pretty secure apartment, but her dr mat's bn stolen 3 times alrdy!! no wonder nobody else puts anytin outside deir drs... -_- n w/out informin us b4hand, ey jus suddenly reset e main entrance passwords bcos 2 many ppl were sneakin in2 e bldg, like hookers n outsiders who jus wanna park here 4 free or steal our dr mats... -_- n did u noe tt e beggars here actually dig out used fast fd cups 4m e dustbin n use it 2 get soft drinks at dose fast fd plcs wch offer free flows?? gross or wat... X( n best still, e fast fd workers saw n din even do anytin abt it... O_O n i was jus askin jess abt goin on a cruise here since its so borin everywhr else in sydney, n she told me its nt safe 2 go on cruises here bcos e sailors here r so damn bored out of deir freakin minds, tt ey actually rape n kill girls on brd... -_- wow.......... endless stories man, abt deir drug addicts n bums who live off tax payers' hard earned $$... anyway, i jus fil so sick in e stomach jus by bein here 4 2 wks... or maybe cos i've bn eatin alot of junk everyday la... XD its rilly bn wake up, eat lunch den junk, junk, junk, junk, den dinner den junk, junk, junk, junk, n o ya, junk!! den slp... zzz -_- my god... dis plc is rilly EVIL!!!! save me!!! X(

brisk burn

2008-04-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

ere's rilly no wifi here, n i gotta pay AUD$11/hr or AUD$24/day just to connect to dis hotel's broadband, so seems i'm rilly nt gonna get 2 go online 4 ese 3 days la... XD anyway, my 1st day has pretty much ended alrdy... n i bet u guys will b damn happy, cos i actually took alot of pics 2dae... but i tink ey're rilly borin/ugly pics doh... wahaha... XD

day 1

our plane landed abit later dan supposed 2... so by e time we got thru customs n collected our luggages, it was alrdy 8am wch is n hr past supposed arrival time... anyway, luckily dis time i din get detained... ^_^" n e declarin of stuff inspection went smoothly 2, in fact, it was 2 smooth liao, ey jus asked wat we were declarin n jus let us go w/out even chkin our bags!! O_O shockin!! or maybe brisbane's jus less strict dan sydney... but anyway, tts whr our luck ran out, i jus new it!! trips r sucha hassle!! X( 1stly, we cou nt find e driver whom our hotel had helped us booked 2 pick us up n send us 2 e hotel... so i had 2 waste alot of time n phonecalls, wch cost $$ X(, 2 get e hotel ppl 2 get e driver here!!! we waited 4 almost 3 hrs la!! X( e hotel guy told me sumtin hap 2 e driver, so ey had 2 send dwn another driver 2 pick us up, but we had 2 wait 1 hr 4 him 2 rich... -_-" my dad got rilly impatient so he made me CALL(waste more $$ again -_-) e hotel 2 cancel e coach, refund us our $$ n we'll jus take another coach wch e airport also offers at a slightly higher price... but by den, e hotel's coach had alrdy started makin its way dwn, so we cou nt get our refund if we cancelled it... so we were stuck ere jus waitin... -_-" by e time we got 2 our hotel it was alrdy 11.30am la... dis sounds similar 2 e us trip man, but dis time's slightly beta doh... but still, i hate trips!!! X( anyway, e silver linin of tt whole bad waitin experience was tt we got refunded almost e full price of wat we paid 4 it doh... ^_^

den aft we settled dwn in our rm, wch was of ok stds la... we headed out 4 surfer's paradise wch is a few blks away n its THE shoppin district near e beach la... anyway, did i tell u my parents brought a pretty big umbrella here?? well, we smartly decided nt 2 bring it along since it din seem like it was gonna rain, but aft walkin 1 blk, we notice e dark clouds... -_- still bein stubborn, we cont our journey, n true enuff, we soon had 2 take shelter at 1 of e apartments... -_-" so we only contd aft e rain had subsided till a drizzle, i had my cap n my good jacket w/ e hood on, so i was fine walkin in e drizzle la, but my poor parents... ~_~ i did try 2 shelter my mom w/ my map doh, but it was a pathetic attempt... ~_~" anyway, we finally rich e 1st shoppin centre, e piazza, n ate lunch at n expensive vietnam chinese restaurant only bcos ey were e 1st plc wch we passed by tt served chinese food... -_-" c wat i min, i alwiz miss western food more whneva i go 2 ang moh countries w/ my parents... -_-

den e final unlucky tin 2 hap 2day was, whn we went 2 e atm 2 w/draw $$, ey retained our card... -_- wtf... n it bein a sunday, no banks were opn at all, hell even most of e shops were closed la... but anyway, luckily we brought a total of AUD$250 here, so think it shul last us 4 quite awhl, n we jus gotta go visit e bank 2ml mornin anyway... so tts all e bad tins wch hap 2day la... XD aft tt was jus shoppin but nt buyin anytin cos ey were 2 ex, n finally rmbed 2 take pics, doh my parents 2 shy 2 take... XD so it was rilly jus me or e scenery most of e time... i took pics all e way til we got back 2 e hotel la... XD madness... my hp low batt bcos of tt lor... XD

den back at our rm, my mom n dad took turns 2 bathe 1st, n i was on e bed contemplatin whether 2 go out n swim in sucha cold weather or nt... but i ended up fallin aslp in e end... XD i din slp thruout e flight anyway, only managed 2 catch n hr's slp on e coach... so it was like 36hrs since i had my last ril slp la... anyway, by e time i woke up, my parents had alrdy eaten dinner n were goin 2 slp lor... n it was only 7.45pm!! O_O so i took my bath n ate sum dinner n started 2 venture ard inside e hotel on my own la n take more pics 2... XD 18mins later, i was back in our rm... its rilly nt much man... like only 4 diff pools wch dun lk 2 impressive, n whr's e pool slide i read abt?!?! X( but i'm def goin 2 soak in e spa pool tml man!! relaxation~~~ ahhh~~~ XD~~~ well, tts all 4 day 1, i'll cont day 2 tml la, tt is if i haf e time la... XP

day 2

hey, i actually haf e time 2 blog day 2... ^_^ w/out further ado, day 2 started off early... i woke up at 6.20am lor... =_= i slpt at 12am last nite lea... anyway, woke up early 2 eat e free bkfast buffet wat... XD n s usual, i ate till my stomach almost exploded la... even doh ere was nutin impressive abt e fd ey offered actually... ~_~ den off we were 2 e bank 2 w/draw $$ n den 2 e vodafone shop 2 get a new aus sim card...

w/ all e errands done, we took a bus 2 dream world, wch e bus ride was almost like takin a cab la... -_-" a 20mins ride 4 3 adults cost us AUD$12.30!! X( daylite robbery man!! but at least we got 2 pass by water world n movie world, n finally e last stop, dream world... wch btw, we din enter cos e ticks r 2 ex... we had initially planned 2 go ere 2 jus eat at 1 of e fd plc outside of it anyway, but we den found out tt ey rnt like LA's universal studios... so w/ no plc 2 eat at ere, we decided 2 go 2 australia fair, wch is a big shoppin centre in brisbane's CBD area... but unfortuantely, we had 2 wait 4 n hr 4 e next bus!! X( it was alrdy n expensive, wasted trip lor, yet we were stil forced 2 b stuck ere!! X( my god...

anyway, e bus did eventually come n hr later n we had 2 pay AUD$10.80 4 a 15min ride la... -_- but whn we dropped near e australia fair, we passed by a rilly cheap 2nd hand store... attracted by e price signs, i went in n found like ril billabong board shorts 4 only AUD$5 la!! X) i tried on like 8 pairs of a mix of board shorts n short shorts, but in e end, ey were either 2 big or 2 baggy lkin 4 me... -_- in e end, i cou only fit nicely in a brandless kid's board shorts... -_-" but hell, it was only AUD$3 lor, tts like only SGD$4 la!! so i bought it... haha...

den we cont on 2 australia fair, n whn we finally riched ere, my parents were hungry 4 lunch, but i was still burpin out bkfast la... XD ey ended up choosin sum pathetic jap fd stall, wch served lousy rice, veg, swt chilli chkn n teriyaki chkn... -_-" n my salmon roll was slightly beta den lousy la... den aft lunch, it was back 2 window shoppin bcos nutin was cheap even if ey were on sale... till i saw jayjay's!! wch is my fav aus shop btw... y?? cos everytime i come here, i only eva buy like AUD$5 shirts, shoes, board shorts n skirts 4m em la... n 2day was jus eye-poppin la... it was like any 3 for AUD$10!!! wch even included a pair of skinnies lor... wch unfortunately was 2 small 4 me... damn!! but it was dark red anyway, it wou haf jus made my red skinnies at hme feel neglected... XD wahaha... so anyway, pressed 4 time, i frantically digged my way thru tt pile of clothes wch took up like 2 big tables la... i found like 20 clothes 2 try on la... n in e end, i only eliminated 8 stuff n was stuck w/ 12 items!! O_O" but it was like only SGD$4 per shirt/short/3 quarts!! fil like i'm shoppin in thailand like tt lor... XD so, i happily walked out of e shop w/ a big plastic bag n AUD$40 poorer... XD i def cannot buy anymore clothes in sydney liao lor... but i stil nid a pair of sneakers, a bag, a wallet, a pouch 4 iRiceball n maybe skinnies?? XD~~~ o no!! i've bcome a shoppin whore!! XD

anyway, it was gettin late den, so we had 2 start makin our way hme, but b4 tt, we tried e choc mint sundae at mac's... nt 2 fantastic n def nt worth AUD$2.45... -_- den we took another AUD$8.10 bus ride hme, wch was only 5mins long la... X( we shul haf jus rented a car man, only AUD$30 a day la... anyway, rich hme n worked til 6pm, den me n my dad went swimmin!! ^_^ finally!! doh it was more like jus spa pool soakin actually, cos e rest of e pools were ice cold!! i found e stupid pathetic pool slide n actually mustered up enuff stupidity 2 take e plunge... my heart nearly stopped whn i hit e water la... i swam like my life depended on it 2 quickly get 2 e edge of e pool n out of e water... n funny tin is, once out of e ice water pool, i felt like e cold weather was no longer cold liao lor... XD but i still dove in2 e spa pool again anyway... den soon, it started 2 rain heavily la... suai sia... we only bearly swam 4 like less dan 1/2 n hr la... X( so we headed hme 2 bathe n eat dinner liao... n tts all 4 day 2 la... dis entry's gonna b so long, i wonder if any1 will actually read it til e end... @_@

day 3

its alrdy 12.44am, day 3 has def ended n i'm nw in sydney... i stil cant go online bcos jess' wireless modem doesnt like my laptop... X( anyway, its a wireless modem wch u haf 2 connect 2 e comp usin a usb port n dis modem is nt connected 2 anytin else like a power supply or wateva... thus, makin e modem mobile, n hence e name wireless modem... -_- i feel so cheated sia... X( its so silly, n its a waste of space n usb ports 2 use dis bloody modem man... X( so irritatin!! y couldnt she jus haf a mio box like us?!?! its so much beta 2 jus connect wirelessly lor... T_T anyway, i'm quite slpy nw... so i'll cont w/ day 3 tml or sumtin... hopefully e net is up n runnin 4 my comp by den... @_@

ok, luckily 4 me, e net is runnin fine on my comp nw... ^_^ but i fil kinda lazy 2 blog abt day 3 liao... haha... its alrdy 12am here again!! time passes so fast man... i cou haf done so much jus nw, but i got stuck 2 e tv showin protege, jess got it on dvd... -_- anyway, i dunno wat made me tink it was a scary show all dis time... XD but daniel wu is rilly cute man... def must b gay man... XD

k la, tink i'm up 2 blog abt day 3 aftall, but it'll b a short 1... i doubt u guys r stil readin anymore at dis pt anyway... XD

day 3 part 2

woke at 6am, ate my last bkfast buffet ere, n smart enuff 2 wr a bigger top dis time!! XD rilly ate til i heard my stomach explode la... O_O wahaha... anyway, aft tt, we were off 2 e bank 4 n appt w/ n investment specialist... n she was... hmmm... ditzy?? she luffed alot... n i rilly had no idea wat was so funny abt anytin she said doh... =_=" anyway, aft tt, we took a bus 2 e casino at sum hotel... n i def dun nid 2 emphasize hw expensive e bus ride is anymore rite... u get my drift by nw huh... XD we spend like less dan 1/2 hr in ere man... ey only played e slot machines anyway... my dad won a dollar, n my mom lost 2 dollars... u do e math... =_=" den we went 2 a shoppin centre nearby wch was borin, n ate lunch at mac... like finally n ang moh meal!! but we only ordered 1 set meal n 1 salad 2 share amongst us 3... ~_~" but i was stil quite full 4m bkfast... so only ate abit of fries n salad... den we headed 4 dis rilly huge shoppin centre called pacific fair, wch rilly had tons n tons of shops, but we only had 1 n 1/2 hr b4 we had 2 start headin back... anyway, i walked ard e indoor shops s quickly s i cou, whl ey sat at a fd court 2 rest... -_-" den i forced dem 2 walk e outdoor shops w/ me, wch was even bigger!! O_O n i came across dis shop called tightrope wch sold clothes at 5,6 dollars!! but aft buyin AUD$3 clothes, AUD$5 dun seem cheap liao... XP but, ey stil had a sale section, n i found pants at AUD$3, n even a 3 quarts at AUD$2!! crazy or wat?!?! XD but ey were all size 10 n above... T_T so i asked my mom 2 try em instead... but she said tt she's only a size 8 lor... rilly mer?? i tot she alwiz complain she got a big tummy?? XD anyway, we let tt gd, corduroy summo, 3 quarts go 2 waste n left la... T_T den whn it was nearly e time we had 2 leave, we actually found out ere r actually summo indoor shops at e other end of e outdoor shops... in fact, dis pacific fair is so huge it consisted of many indoor shoppin areas n outdoor shoppin areas all connected 2 1 another, but unfortunately, we had no time left liao... so had 2 go off b4 i cou explore finis e plc... T_T e rest was jus norm stuff like gettin on e coach n chkin in at e airport n takin e plane n arrivin sydney la... so tts all abt day 3 la... ^_^ i cant blif i actually finis it!! o! n 1 more tin... i was so bz at gold coast tt, i din even once tink abt e tin i decided 2 jiyu at all, til i saw e name tag of sum property agent my dad was tokin 2 on day 3... haha.. wch made me realise i ttly almost 4got abt it la... so... its a gd start rite?? i was meant 2 clr it out of my system anyway... ~_~

faultee daze

2008-04-05T13:31:00.002+08:00

i'm leavin sg in approx 8hrs 58mins 23secs... T_T i hate goin overseas... i hate goin thru customs... i hate fearin thru e takin off n landin of e plane... n i hate leavin my frens!! X( n australia is def 1 of e countries i hate goin 2 e most... but unfortunately jess decided 2 settle dwn ere... -_-

40 days is 2 long man... i min e last time i went ere 4 2 wks, i was alrdy dyin 2 go back by e 2nd wk... n tt was only bcos i had justine w/ me tt time lor... tts y i cou live thru e 1st wk w/out much complains... but dis time, i dun haf justine w/ me!!! hw m i eva gonna make it thru dis crisis alive?!?! X(

n worse still, e 1st 3 days will b at brisbane, n i bet ey're so bckwrds tt ere's no such tin s wifi ere la!!! n tt mins i cant go online 4 3 whole days!!! O_O omg!!! such horror!!!! but luckily e next 37 days will b at sydney w/ jess, n she has wireless broadband... ^_^ phew... aldoh its a pathetic speed of only 1mbps, but beggers cant b choosers rite... ~_~ n its alrdy way beta den last time's 56k dial up la... -_-" but i will rilly die if i had 2 go thru tt kinda speed again doh... XD

anyway, i gtg get ready 2 meet sw n angele nw la... cya guys at e airport later!! doh tt stupid mich is stil slpin nw la!!! tt pig!!! say can meet us at 2pm, my ASS!! X(

ji yu

2008-04-03T01:28:00.002+08:00

2dae, i've decided tt i'll jiyu... dun ask me wat tt is... bcos if u're my fren, i've alrdy told u abt it actually...

so ya, i cant go on like tt anyway, cos i cant std e way i get 2... so i'm jiinyu... i hope dis 40 days wou clr my head up... n whn i get back, everytin wou b fine again... a fresh start? a new beginnin? or jus peaceful days? i dunno... but i jus noe i haf 2 sort sum tins out in my head 1st... maybe try 2 meditate n rich enlitenment whl i'm at it 2... XD since it'll b super borin ere anyway... T_T i hope i'm strong enuff 2 w/std e temptation of killin myself n endin e borin days i haf 2 endure ere... -_-

anyway, i gtg slp la... 3 days left only!! X(

besuto furensu

2008-04-02T02:40:00.002+08:00

i cant blif i'm wastin my time bloggin abt dis... but den again, i did spend n hr on mich's blog taggin... but she jus erased all my tags off e min aft i tagged bcos she din 1 me 2 start a war w/ sum1... -_-"

anyway, its funny y we're even best frens in e 1st plc cos i did suan her til she cried in sec sch... but we stil ended up like dis... XD i alwiz take her 4 granted til sum1 comes along n tries 2 snatch her away... den i go in2 defense n battle mode against tt person... call me a spoilt brat who jus had her toy taken away 4m her... but tts e way i've bn... n its only bcos we're best frens til such a lvl tt i can act e way i do n stil alwiz win e battle... XD i did fend off quite a few of em alrdy u noe... XD weird... its like s doh i haf a position 2 protect like tt... -_-

anyway, i've bn tinkin abt it... n it has finally dawned on me tt i shul jus do away w/ my insecurities, bcos mich does constantly remind me tt we'll grow old 2gether(unlike sum other ppl XP)... at least she rilly blifs tt la... but i jus haf less faith in it... bcos of e way i m?? e tots i haf?? anyway, i rilly wanna blif her, so i'll try, i'll try 2 let my insecurities go, n trust her tt we'll make it... so, w/ so much bloody time on our hands, i shul also cease keepin her all 2 myself every time i sense danger lurkin ard rite?? cos we'll stil haf a long long time 2gether anyway, unless i die early, or she dies early bcos of all her smokin/drinkin/clubbin/eatin... XP

but, we stil haf issues, issues tt arose even b4 sum1 tried 2 snatch her away 4m me... n til nw it hasnt bn resolved yet thanks 2 her bz schedule... n ey r real issues btwn 2 real best frens... nt issues wch arose bcos a few couples r forced 2 go out 2gether bcos of 1 person's wishful ideals... tts like intentionally makin up problems n den wastin a whole lotta time solvin each n every prob... -_-" ere's a much much beta solution 2 tt u noe, n tts 4 ese couples 2 nt go out 2gether!! i min whn i cant get along w/ sum1, i jus keep my distance 4m tt person... so tt person wun get offended by me, n i wun get offended by tt person, so wala! prob solved!! =_=***

airtanshern seacurl

2008-03-27T15:50:00.004+08:00

u lucky blog, i'm givin u so much attention nwadays lor... XD anyway, all dis tok abt attention seekin all... its either i wasnt like tt 2 begin w/ but every1 kept tellin me i m, n den i started 2 blif i m n thus, i start 2 act my part la, or i'm rilly jus it la even w/out anybody's help rilly... -_-" life is rilly weird man... ok, 1stly dis shall b my last post of my life theories n blah... cos i dun like tokin abt e tins goin on in my head in e 1st plc, n e tins buggin me has more or less bn overcomed in a way... so... c wat i min? i cant b bothered by tins 4 2 long... i guess i stil haf it in me 2 b bo chup aftall... XD wahaha...

guess wat? i 4got wat was e theory i wanted 2 tok abt!! X( o 4get it!!

watched evangelion e movie ytd... damn it sux... T_T it made me hate it all ova again... god... dun do tt 2 me can... bring my hopes all e way up n punch it dwn n stampede all ova it... e movie left us w/ such a bad aft taste tt nobody wanted 2 say anytin abt it, whl i'm e only idiot stil complainin frantically abt it n cryin ova e $6 i lost... T_T o 1 more tin, ey rilly shul haf played e beautiful world song thruout e movie la... e song is so nice lor... wou haf made e movie more bearable at least... -_-

ok, ere's sumtin i dun dare tell anybody at all... tts y i'm only tellin u, my blog... e tin is... since ytd nite... since i got hme 4m e movie... i felt sumtin creepin up on me... n it was.......... e tin calls itself.......... THE FLU!!! yeah... -_- i tink i'm sick again... T_T n we were jus tokin abt it ytd tt i alwiz get sick all, n i was tryin 2 desperately defend my body's immune system... n look wat hap... sianzzz... -_- cant u jus work a lil beta in ere?? i got no 1 else but u 2 protect me 4m illnesses lea... X( anyway, i dwned vit Cs n water all last nite... but 2dae my mucus stil drippin quite a bit... T_T i'm rilly an ILL-fated-person sia... X(

ookiku furikabutte

2008-03-25T02:40:00.001+08:00

ookiku furikabutte is a baseball anime wch i'm madly in love w/ even doh i dun understd e game at all no matter hw much i watch it, pausin at every single subtitle n readin it 5 times 2 try 2 digest it... but anyway, i jus finis watchin epi 26, wch is its special last epi... T_T so e tin is, dis epi is abt a boy who wans 2 gif up on baseball aft seein a junior take over his position n play way beta dan him... tinkin tt its a joke 4 him 2 cont playin baseball whn he sux so bad n all... he decides 2 quit, but u noe hw shows r, drama drama, n boom, its solved, he realises his mistake n works hard 2gether w/ everybody at baseball, den duh its happily eva aft... but seriously, no matter hw many more such animes i watch i aint gonna learn 4m em... i haf pretty much almost e same prob s him, but guess wat? i aint changin... ere wun b a happily eva aft 4 me... well, cos happily eva aft dun exist anyway...

i'm rilly slpy nw... so nitezzzZZZzzz...

aunt tiethird

2008-03-20T01:48:00.002+08:00

dis is 1 2 many updates 4 u huh... ere is no 1 who wanna read such negative tots of mine rite... i noe i shou jus escape 2 my animes n bury myself in it instd... but i dunno y i keep comin back here 2 vent it all out... X( e bitterness i feel is rite up 2 my throat n i'm tryin my hardest 2 stop myself 4m vomittin it all out...

e trigger dis time wou b my sis... n o paranoid me wou b able 2 lump everytin 2gether n make sumtin out of nutin... conspiracy theories or e "truth" or wateva, u name it, chances r i've alrdy came up w/ it... n ese assumptions of mine wou cos ese snowball effects, thus, here i m bloggin... ha... -_-"

anyway, gettin back on track, my sis' discouragin behaviour is e trigger... well, tt may nt b true since i'm e kind of person who jus love 2 find sum1 or sumtin 2 blame so tt i actually haf sumtin 2 blog abt... -_- so dun blif anytin u read here bcos it all came 4m a delusional nutcase... so anyway, s i was sayin, e perpetrator 4 all ese discouragin remarks n reactions is nt only my sis, but also almost every single person i pass by... obviously i've only got my own self 2 blame 4 it in e 1st plc, but tts nt my pt... my pt is, i'm soft, softer dan even a freakin baby... n i dun mean physically la... i meant it like a spoilt brat kinda way... tt i seem 2 live on ppl's encouragement... so whn e whole world's against me, i crumble... its weird, cos i dun norm gif a damn abt wat any1 tinks n all, yet dis time it jus feels so darn miserable 2 nt b approved of?? but wateva... i'll get over it... it jus rilly bugs me at e moment...

n i noe, tt e tins tt sprout out of my mouth r useless... i mean ey r nutin compared 2 ur probs of marriage n work, a ril job wch i dun haf... i min its like jus realisin tt my life's a bloody lie... ere's nutin worth it at all... a sham tts wat it is... n i jus dun c e pt in cont it... i'm like a waste of ppl's time?? so ya, i shou nt tok abt anytin related 2 me anymore rite... until i actually get a ril job n contribute 2 dis family rite... -_-

god... dis is wat i mean... i'm jus full of disgustin bitterness... -_-

tool march

2008-03-19T01:38:00.009+08:00

ok, let me complain a lil bit abt e super sad n pathetic tin called my l.i.f.e... its so narrow... its so bloody squeezy here la... no room 4 much tins... only room 4 2 tins, 1 is self n e other is centered... n i hate dose 2!!! X( but sadly, i'm stuck w/ em 4 life... -_-*** haizzz...

its currently e dwns n dwner la... dunno y it feels so dps lately... feel like n emo wreck most of e time... i easily get dgt w/ myself nwadays... like nt understdin a norm person's pt of view... only seein tins thru my eyes... n nt filterin tins proply... so words escape w/out enuff consideration, n regret soon sets in... T_T i feel so freakin bad abt myself tt e best solution is 4 me 2 dsp... n tt wou rilly help a whole lot... many ppl wou b happier tt way... maybe sum wun... but ey wun feel so 4 long... i wou soon b fgt anyway... life wou go on pfl w/out me ard... i noe i noe, i'm jus bein damn ngt nw... but i cant help it... tots like dese run thru my mind everytime anytin unhappy haps... n tts e way i m, i'm n ecp, cos i cant psv...

but maybe its jus a transition... once i get another job i like, n e currency flows back in our favor, n i'm finally bein accepted, den e heaviness wou all b lifted?? wou all dese unhappiness vanish in2 thin air?? ,_,

anyway, due 2 e constant grievin over my s.a.d life, instd of my hair turnin white, i've lost most of em...

at least i finally managed 2 fulfill 1 person's wishes... :x o! n 2 tt same person, dis is my 106th post btw... XP

stewpitt shooz

2008-03-12T00:07:00.008+08:00

I swear shoes hate me for I dunno wat reason la. X( I've bn hurt by five diffe shoes since e start of dis yr lor. Ey literally cut n tear e skin off my toes la. Wat did I or my poor innocent feet ever do to u shoes to have to go thru such torture huh? T_T its unfair! Injustice I tel u!! Anyway, I'm giving my poor darlings some time off from dose tyrant shoes, n sticking to my old worn out slippers for e moment, though ey do leave ugly scars on my feet too. X( I'm n ill-shoe-fated person man. T_T

ok i'm back again usin my comp 2 blog instd of my iRiceball... so damn tedious 2 blog w/ him man... anyway, dose bitch shoes!! i rilly dun bloody understd hw ey can trick me 1 aft another, makin me fall deep into deir trap n den abusin my precious feet... X(

anyway, recappin on e past wk, it was pretty eventful la... celeb cammie's bday on mon, sabo-ed her w/ streamers tt were prev meant 4 me actually... haha... den tue was a v last min plan 2 go watch the L movie w/ e girls... den wed n thu was stay hme n look guai infrnt of my parents day... but on fri, i 1st went 2 attend a cocktail party 4 e launch of a chicago condo w/ my dad n sis... o e shishamos!! XD e other food served were so-so only la... in n hr's time, we were v full n ready 2 leave liao... haha... so i den went 2 meet jas, mich n juf... my feet were alrdy cryin 4 help n yet i can stil torture em summo by walkin 4m 4 seasons hotel 2 heeren lor.. haha... madness... den we hung out n played bridge all... n even doh i was feelin sicker n sicker, i stil absurdly decided 2 join jas n her cousins 4 clubbin!! rilly crazy liao lor... i even bought a new pair of shoes jus 2 go clubbin lor... but amazinly aft eatin panadol cold relief, i felt beta by e time i got 2 zouk... den we played 5 ten, wch i've only played a few times b4, n miraculously, i managed 2 make jas drink 7 times str lor... wahahha... XD danced e rest of e nite away, n den sat was here... IT FAIR!!! haha... went w/ mich, juf n gary... rilly damn alot of ppl la... its like s doh 1/2 of sg's population were squeezin deir ass at suntec lor... -_-" anyway, lucky gary was ere 2 advise or i'd rilly haf jus gotten e more ex white fujitsu laptop tt had lower specs dan e black 1 wch i got in e end la... heh... ~_~" i'm also a bimbo jus like mich who shops 4 electronics based on colors 2... XD whahaha... i totally 4got abt gettin a projector doh.... =( i hope e next IT fair comes soon... @_@ anyway, sun was fun, went 2 c wu zun at bugis... he's rilly cute in person man... more flawless in real life dan on tv sia... perfect sia he... haha... e whole experience of squeezin w/ dose fan girls is alot 2 tok abt, but i'm 2 tired 2 explain liao... haha... 4m 10 meters, we manage 2 close e gap up til only 3 meters away 4m him sia... n tts whn jas n sw started whippin out deir hps 2 take pics all... but i din feel like actin like a fan girl doh... haha... so i jus eyed him intently la... i mean such a flawless face!! prettier dan a girl even man... hw 2 nt ogle rite... besides its almost impossible 2 c cute guys in sg 1 lor... XP wahaha... den mich finally came dwn only whn wu zun n crew left lor... -_-"

ok, i gotta rilly cut short my post cos i needa slp man... so tts all la... but mon was bridge n 2dae was meet e spartans, rilly spastic man... haha... nitezzzZZZzzz u_u

jenthin threep

2008-02-26T21:48:00.003+08:00

yea... tok abt bein gd... i stayed hme e whole of last wk til thu... den on fri, i went gentin!! again... haha... 2nd time in malaysia... it was alrite, but e rest prob tink i'm n obsessive planner... itinerised e whole trip like tt... haha... draggin every1 outta bed even doh ey only had a few hrs of slp... XP yesh, i'm psycho military sergeant on e loose... XD but tt was e only way 2 make full use of our RM51 theme park tickets wat!! but i stil din manage 2 discipline soldier mich n soldier ben la... -_-" dose 2 were ril pigs man... actually mich is e only true blue pig la... she slpt 4m 2.30am til 7am, den ate bkfast w/ us den went back 2 slp again... n finally came out at 12pm 2 eat lunch n sat sum rides, den went back 2 slp again at 4.30pm n woke up at 6.30pm 2 play summo rides n eat dinner... n by 10pm, i was a goner cos i only had 1 hr of slp e nite b4, so i wanted 2 head back 2 e room myself 2 slp 1st, but guess wat?? mich says she wanted 2 go back w/ me 2 cos she was tired also!! O_O** omg!!! mich is rilly a pig in disguise!!! dun b fooled by her human appearance!!! XD

so anyway, besides findin out mich is rilly a pig, i also discovered tt theme park hotel is way beta den tt stupid first world hotel i stayed at e 1st time... so much cleaner n bigger!! ^_^ n drivin dwn 2 gentin is more fun den takin a coach ere... can c more tins along e way... n ben speedin up e curvy hill was fun 2... reminds me of whn i was yg, my dad drove us 2 punchak(hweva u spell it??) in indonesia... it was like gentin 2, up in e clouds on a mountain, temp dippin dwn low, but it wasnt s developed s gentin la... dun haf shoppin centres all... more like a resort villa twn... filled w/ alot of cute fruit-shaped cottages tt comes w/ a small garden n short fences ard it... it was like stayin in a strawberry shortcake cartoon la... haha... but ey din haf such a tin s a heater, so we had 2 bathe in freezin cold water!! T_T i rmb playin bumper car ere, but i dun rmb wat else we did ere alrdy... haha...

anyway, i'm stil sick nw... was sick thruout e whole trip 2... X( so sufferin 2 haf no voice at all... luckily i dun scream durin rides, or i dunno hw much worse my voice will b liao... nw i alrdy sound like sum out of tune chicken lor... XD btw, e rides at gentin were sad man... like nt enuff power or wat... or maybe cos i compared it w/ e rides i took in america... but at least dis time i din haf 2 take any rides alone... X) cos ere were 4 other ppl, i jus had 2 try my best 2 at least drag 1 of em dwn w/ me... wahha... overall it was fun la... i din regret goin 4 it at all, even doh i had tt lil out burst whn i was alone w/ mich... ~_~" so... i dun mind goin 4 it again, doh i tink e other 3 ppl wun 1 me in any of deir trips eva again... wahha... XD

sekki dei

2008-02-18T15:56:00.003+08:00

so sad... i'm sick again... T_T nw we gotta postpone our tony roma's 2 nxt wk... T_T i shul haf known i was no mich... can play 2 days str n slp 1 day str repeatedly w/out gettin sick... unfortunately, i'm weaker den u guys la... T_T

ok, let's acc wat hap 2 cos dis misery 2 bfall on me... X( last wk was def a bz wk... out most of e nites except mon, wch i had a pizza hut dinner at hme w/ my family... tue was sendin jess off at e airport n den meetin e girls at pw... wed was mj w/ e girls at mich's hse, n thu was prayer nite w/ my parents til like 2am... n fri, movies w/ e girls plus juf... sat is prob whn i'm pushin it 2 much... cos aft visitin my relatives, i stil rush dwn w/ mich 2 catch a movie... den met up w/ juf n gary 4 food n bridge... n mind u i was alrdy tired even b4 goin 4 tt movie, yet i can stil stay on 2 play bridge... haha... i'm mad... -_- n den went hme 4 a 2hrs slp b4 attendin a temple lunch tin w/ my family... my mom rilly wanted us 2 go 4 it k... besides, its free food, wch dey say is rilly gd, so hw 2 refuse rite... wahha... but i regretted anyway... it was a pretty bad experience, but i shall nt complain abt it anymore or i'll get punished further... hmmmm... maybe tts y huh... haha... XD anyway, aft e lunch it was shoppin w/ justine n den yet again another movie!!! i movie crazed last wk or wat sia... -_- so finally 2dae, i'm a goner.... T_T

i shall try 2 b gd dis wk...

ai tachi

2008-02-03T01:19:00.000+08:00

Yesh! I finally got my iTouch! Infact I'm actually bloggin usin it nw. Heh. So its gdbye kei five n hello iRiceball! Haha. Yes I'm naming it iRiceball. XD

It feels like e same tin all ova again doh. I went to c iRiceball at e store n it was luv at first sight again! I jus hope e passion doesnt die dwn so quickly this time. ~_~ actually i had to go thru a long tedious process before I cou make iRiceball completely mine, but its too tirin to repeat it again for e umpteen time. Plus if u r my fren u have prob heard it alrdy. So long story short, it was damn difficult to get hold of him. X( Wahaha. Anyway, dis dictionary is killing me! It keeps changing my words to some other word all e time! -_- so ya I'll b back again to blog using my comp instead la. bye!

good bye

2008-01-26T02:52:00.000+08:00

ha... i'm nw at mich's hse bloggin... takin a break since my reserve player is playin mj 4 me... anyway, i'm here 2 blog abt e death of sum1 who meant alot 2 me... my precious precious kei five died 2dae... T_T n he was only a yr old lor... i felt like we went thru alot 2gether... even doh its only bn a yr, it felt much longer 2 me... maybe cos he frustrated me quite abit... even e 1st time i brought him hme, he collapsed on me almost immediately... n i realised ere were sum stuff he couldnt do... n his speakers were convenient, but quality wise, even my riceball 5700 did beta la... but anyway, i shouldnt tok bad abt e dead... ~_~ so.... dis entry goes out 2 u my once beloved kei five, whom i started out bein madly in love w/, but e passion died quite quickly... n soon we became like n old couple, jus takin each other 4 granted... but nw tt u're gone, i realise i stil rilly nid u, cos riceball 5700's batteries sux... aldoh i cou jus send u 2 jurong 2 get u fixed, but 2 bad ur warranty's run out, n i haf 2 even pay jus 2 get u chked out, n den pay summo 2 get u fixed laur... X( besides i tink i nid sum1 else beta 4 me instd... i'm currently tinkin of e itouch... heh... well... sorry, guess we've walked 2 e end of our journey liao la... ~_~

sondre lerche

2008-01-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

no i'm done bein in love w/ joanna wang... haha... sondre lerche is e guy singin almost all e songs in dan in real life lor... i finally d/led e whole ost n u/led it on my mulitply... all of e songs r so damn sickeninly addictive lor... but sadly i had 2 choose only 1 song 4 my ringtone, 1 4 my msg tone n 1 4 my alarm tone... T_T n i dunno wats wrong w/ my hp, normally whn i go 2 e menu pg, it'll play sum backgrd music of my choice... but it doesnt anymore!!! X(

my hands r shakin 4 carryin dis torch, 4 carryin dis torch 4 u~~ my lips r bleedin 4m kissin u gdbye, 4 kissin u gdbye every nite~~ my shts r tearin 4 slpin in 2 long, 4 slpin in 2 long w/ u~~

yesh tts wats playin on my wmp atm... ^_^ e ost even has e ruthie pigface draper song lor.... wahahahah.... XD e instrumental songs r nice 2... ey remind me of e show... wch wasnt tt bad... it wasnt e usual comedy stuff, more heart warmin kind... nt rilly my tin... but luckily ey had gd music 4 compensation... haha...

joanna wang

2007-12-27T06:04:00.000+08:00

wow its bn a yr huh... i mite nvr come back n blog again, but 4 2dae, i'll waste sum time... i cant slp... T_T hmmm... it feels rilly weird typin tt line out man... it's bn way 2 long since i used 2 complain abt my slpless nites in typed form... anyway, i heard dis beautiful voice 2dae... n i'm rilly hooked on her nw... i desperately searched 4 her songs, n finally found her on youtube!!! n i rilly meant HER!!! like she opned her own acct ere n uploaded videos of herself singin... 4m e countless comments n all, i'm nt e only 1 who feels dis way abt her... haha... dunno if its rilly her voice tt got me or was it bcos she's n asian chick w/ gd eng command... haha... anyway, i found out her hmetwn's san gabriel n i was jus ere last mth!!! yyyyy?!?! y dint i noe abt her den!!! at least i wldnt haf dreaded bein ere so much maybe... anyway, tts over... blap........ -_-

dunno whn it started... aft i came back 4m america? whn i was in america? even b4 i left 4 america? whn?? whn did i bcome so detached 4m everytin ard me?? u noe whn u fil detached, its almost like sum1 can die rite infrnt of u n u wun fil speck at all... but i guess tt aint thru... cos i did watch tt car flip n ram rite infrnt of me wch pretty much shook me, my legs, my heart 4 awhl at least... but anyway, detached or nt, i'm still vexed... vexed abt my situation n wats 2 come... n all i do is complain... but seriously, wats e pt in complainin here anyway?? haizzz... its a mystery y i even came back here... its like tt 1% chance of abnormal behaviour...

i'm so screwed... its daylite soon... i gotta wake up 4 work soon... T_T but i'm no whr near slpy... T_T maybe its joanna's fault!!! her voice does nt put me 2 slp but makes me hungry 4 more!!! i shul haf jus played my animes 2 slp instd of playin her songs!! ey'd haf bn beta bedtime stories!! X(

kei five

2006-12-30T03:31:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! my new K5!!!! wahahaha... XD i'm especially bloggin jus 4 my new K5!!! my new baby!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! cant belif i rilly got it!!! wahahah... its sooooooooo beautiful!!! even my hands seem 2 dirty to touch it!! but its touch pad!! my fingerprints r all over it nw man... X( i found a pouch 4 it, doh i tink it does nt haf enuff cushionin... haha... i shou go shoppin... but i'm plentiful broke nw!! T_T well, i guess aft buyin my baby, i'll b broke nxt mth n e mth aft... haha... XD

anyway, i rilly tot of never comin back here 2 blog again, since havin a ril life w/ a job n all is so time suckin or maybe i jus haf no sense of time management la.. haha... but bloggin is rilly a waste of time man... its like sumtin u do whn ere's nutin else in ur life tt fulfills u n e v bo liao personality of urs take over sia... haha... bet many bloggers wanna chop my head off nw man plus my fingers 2... haha... so anyway, tt bo liao trait in me has finally arose, but prob only 2 dedicate n entry 2 my darlin baby!! wahaha... XD

wan n update on my life?? prob nt... but i'll go on anyway... XD hmmm... wat can i tok abt man... it basically feels like me movin 4wrd ba... given more time 2 spend w/ family, tot abt stuff n all 2... came 2 certain realisations maybe... but anyway, even doh i seem 2 b slackin at hme like b4, but it doesnt fil like tt at all... w/ a mission at all times, wch is 2 earn $$ la... haha... i dun fil like i'm stuck anymore... b4, i alwiz felt like i was stuck, like i've walked til e end of e rd n only a wall stood infrnt of me... but nw, sumhw, it aint like tt anymore, i'm movin, in my own way at hme... chasin aft a target called "money"... wahahha... i wou like 2 say i've broke dwn tt wall, but i prob din, i jus diverted onto another path... a path w/out a wall obstruction in sight, it aint bright here, but it aint w/out light 2... haha... i shou stop tt nonsense metaphoric crap man... haha... anyway, wat i mean is, life IS stil v much meaninless, at least 2 e greater source outside or wateva, we're 2 insignificant rilly... hwever, 2 ourselves, we fil e significance of ourselves v much... it is in fact overwhelmin... so wat we can do is throw away e tots of e outside, makin it bcome e insignificant 1 instd, since we r also treated tt same way by em anyway... so u carry e importance of urself by urself, 4 urself, nt 4 others... so i guess i haf finally stopped livin life 4 others, but 4 myself, 2 overcome e challenges i have 2 face n cont movin 4wrd... ^_^

good food

2006-12-08T02:07:00.000+08:00

i swear i'm gonna get fat la!!! X( bn eatin soooooooooooo much!!! bein in my dad's line is gd actually la, fd wise... -_-" e bankers will treat us 2 lunch at all dose nice nice hotel rests thanks to e tin called company's expenses!! i love tt word!! wahaha... jus had jap buffet at fullerton hotel earlier 2dae, my god i ate way 2 much sashimis n unagis... XD n ytd was scarlet hotel... e waiters ere were cute man!! wahaha... n also, durin e wkends, my family n i will go out 2 eat more gd fd thanks 2 our sooooo many credit cards, privileges n promos... we eat til our stomachs burst n only pay 20, 30 odd dollars!!! ^_^ so ya, main pt of my entry, way 2 much gd fd 4 me liao!!! i'm soooooo gettin FAT!!! T_T i seem 2 haf lost sight of tt rd 2 skinniness!! T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T but anyway, my parents leavin town again soon 4 a wk over so i guess i can cut my fd consumption again durin dis period...

n i sooooo shou b slpin nw!!! freakin late liao lor!! but i guess i'm 2 full!! tts y i cant slp!!! X(

hsewife days

2006-11-29T13:31:00.000+08:00

ok, a quick update b4 i go watch my animes... haha... yes... i've got my 1st hols since i started work... my boss is away on a business trip, so work here cant rilly resume w/out him... heh... ~_~ anyway, its like a break, but i stil work la... like sms him at least 3 times a day w/ e rates, n try my best 2 respond any e-mails wch i tink i'm able 2 w/out goin thru him, n of cos fulfill any smll, big, urgent or ridiculous requests he asks of me la... haha... XD

but anyway, work aside, 2dae wch is e 1st mornin of my hols, i woke up early s usual, 8.30 actually... haf managed 2 ctrl myself nt 2 wake up at 3 or 4am 4 work nw alrdy... wahaha... XD so anyway, my big sis was gd n alrdy made n ate her own bkfast n was leavin 4 work alrdy... my smll sis was dressed 4 work 2, but w/out bkfast yet... so i prep her bkfast, pack her lunchbox n water bttle, pass her e hse keys n at e same time teach her hw 2 use it, n off 2 work she went leavin dis hsewife/care taker in a nw empty hse... oops, had 2 call mich up 2 wake her 4 work 2, n she was so v disciplined 2dae!!! she ans my v 1st call!! norm she makes me call at least 10 times b4 she ans lor!! -_-" anyway, den i boiled sum water, did sum work 4 my dad n lk at e time, its alrdy 12... wonderin if i shou eat lunch, but heck, i shou go on a diet anyway aft e last 4 eat-alot-days... but i ended up eatin fruits stil la... haha... lookin at e ingredients in e fridge tt my parents instructed me 2 finis up asap, i tot of cookin dinner 4 my 2 sis 2nite... maybe rice omelet w/ tuna n fishball plus vegs... haha... dun blame me, tts all e ingredients i had in my fridge... heh...

anyway, my pt here is, on my days off, n w/out my dad, i've rilly taken on his role actually, providin meals 4 e family... such a hsewife/care taker sia... weird... but i stil feel v much responsible n obliged 2 la... haha... freaky freaky... ok, i gotta go la, enjoy sum alone time w/ my beloved animes b4 my hols' over...

worker horlick

2006-11-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

ok, i'm stil in e midst of work, but my dad/boss is at e dentist nw n i'm waitin 4 e bloody OCBC guy who never rets my calls 2 call me.. haha... anyway, so much 2 blog abt man... i guess whn u found a job u're addicted 2, ere's jus so much 2 tok abt!! XD but no 1 wans 2 listen... T_T ey dun understd everytin i'm babblerin abt... T_T so i only haf u, my blog, 2 tok 2... =_=

anyway, my job tt no 1 rilly noes wat it is, is like a PA, personal assisstant, to my dad... everytin tt he used 2 do 2 sustain dis family 4 all ese yrs, i haf 2 learn n understd em 2... n a norm hsehold w/ a dad holdin a full-time job n brings hme his pay-chk every mth n a mom whose a hsewife who cleans n cooks everyday n children who goes 2 sch n study n play wou never b able 2 imagine hw diffi it is 2 maintain a hsehold wch has 2 retired parents at e age of 40, 4 girls 2 send 2 sch 2, a bungalow wch incur sky rocketin bills every mth, n 2 cars of wch 1 has a $1000 odd maintainance fee every yr!! it never hit me tt all ese yrs, my dad n mom were strugglin on super thin ice 2 make ends meet so badly... i guess i've finally genuinely reflected, understood n appreciate deir hard work, unlike last time whn i jus use it s n excuse 4 ppl 2 pity me all... haizzz... anyway, i feel rilly bad, but at e same time, v IRRITATED 2!! y?? cos nw e whole workload's piled on top of me!!! i cant breathe!!! X(

i've fallen sick due 2 work or maybe cos i eat rubbish all e time.. haha.. XP e tins i haf 2 deal w/ is nt only my currency stuff... i also haf 2 manage e property in london, 2 of em!! 1 of wch my dad jus bought n ere's soooooo many documents 2 read n sign n procedures 2 carry out!! lucky e property in sydney hasnt given me any probs 2 date... unlike e other london 1, all day n nite i haf 2 e-mail complain letters 2 e lettins agent 4 overchargin us n all!! X( n bcos london is 7 or 8 hrs bhind us, i work til midnite thanks 2 em lor... -_- heng my dad alrdy sold off e properties in vancouver a long time ago, if nt i'll b workin 4m 8,9am all e way til 5am ah... wahahha... XD

i also haf a splittin headache constantly 4m tinkin 2 much i tink... XD esp on our term loan n hsin loan tt i also haf 2 handle... n y?? cos smartass me came up w/ e idea of transferrin e loans 2 e bank we use 4 our currency tradin... it holds sum risk cos we'll b borrowin in another currency, n if tt currency goes against us, we'll b payin higher int dan if we stayed w/ e current banks instd... but tink abt it, wou u rather pay UOB 4.3% term loan n OCBC 7% hsin loan 4 e nxt few yrs wch seems 2 increase gradually s time passes also, or pay UBS, my currency tradin bank, 2.26% wch i also haf e flexiblity 2 convert e loan currency, wch is in swiss franc, 2 jap yen, wch is only a measely 0.5%, whn e currency is in my favour!! genius rnt i?? XD n best of all, we'll b able 2 hold our own property title deed cos UBS does nt req us 2 put up our title deed s collateral in order 2 loan 4m em, thus we can alwiz use tt title deed s collateral at another bank n obtain funds 2 work w/ again!! hw convenient!! ^_^

but anyway, cos of bad currency rates n all, i discouraged my dad 2 go along w/ my idea n modified my plan by usin a 3.9% currency loan instd, but my dad vehemently disapproved... i felt sooooo mad tt he din understd wat i was tokin abt, tt even doh it sounds like u pay higher int, but in e long run whn tt currency weakens u can convert it 2 a lower int currency like swiss franc or yen provided ey get stronger 2 at tt time la.. so ur loan amt bcomes lesser dis way rite.. get it?? doubt so... haizzz... -_-"

sumtimes i wonder y is it tt it seems so awfully clr 2 me, yet my dad who's e experienced person here dun seem 2 c it... my mom says maybe its cos i'm like e new blood, n my mind is stil v fresh n clr, whl my dad is in it 2 long, n experienced quite a no. of bad experiences, cosin him 2 b blinded n fear anytin wch sounds or seems remotely close 2 past bad experiences... o well, dis loan issue gave me tons of headaches s 1 aft another idea popped in2 my head wch mins i haf 2 start doin my research 2 c if it works all den start 2 explain 2 him again, n e cycle goes on n on... so mind explodin man!! X( no wonder i m sick!!

a last note on my business stuff, our business is nt only abt earnin $$ 4m currency diffe or int premium, but also savin $$ on anytin n everytin we possibly can so tt we haf more capital 2 work w/... ~_~ so every single cent matters!! wahhaha... XD

ok... besides my work stuff, here's sum of e current updates on myself wch i bet will b e only para u read out of dis whole entry... =_= anyway, i PERMED my hair!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!! i haf non-str hair!!!!! n i permed it like reira of nana!!! but instd of permin all my hair, i only permed e top 1/2 of it, cos i noe i m nt capable of takin care of a full head of wavy hair... heh... bsides i love seein my str hair peek out 4m beneath my wavy hair!! ^_^ BUT, i spent like $50 odd on jus hair products lor... maintainin wavy hair's damn ex man!! T_T so tts abt it on me la... my dad's back 4m e dentist... back 2 work!! tata~~~ ^_^

humongous changes

2006-11-18T03:47:00.000+08:00

here's a REAL update u've bn dyin 4 mich!! wahahha... XD nah... i've jus realised soooo many tins ard me has suddenly changed... mostly e ppl ard me, e tins ard me, e lifestyle i've acquired, its a humongous change man... i haf my SISTER back!! haha... nah... she's jus back 4 6 mths la... but tts gd n long enuff!! i missed her sooooo much until i met her last sat... waahahhaha... XD jk jk... i LOVE havin her ard... she does everytin i command her 2!!! ahhaha... XP well, its nt only tt i haf sum1 2 bully la... but also, i haf a playmate?? a play doll i can dress up n torture... heh... rite nw its all abt e rd 2 skinniness 4 her... call me shallow all u wan... but i feel ere's nutin 2 live 4 if u're fat... wch btw, i'm nt so fat anymore nw... wahahah... i'm sucha girl nw... its irritatin... i noe its only bcos i'm skinnier again n clothes lk beta on me... tts y i'm attracted 2 pretty pretty tins... T_T i spent so much on clothes n shoes n bags n all til my visa bill came up 2 a whoopin S$600++!! X( all e $$ i had earned 4m my last office job is all gone!!! no more savins 2 cont holidayin... T_T but tts also whn my parents came back 4m london... n i new it was my last resort 2 get $$... so tts whn i started workin 4 my dad, i tink dis is my 3rd or 4th attempt at tryin 2 work 4 him... n maybe cos of e $0 in my bank acc, it stressed me out so much tt dis attempt finally made it thru... i'm officially learnin e ropes 4m my dad... n i'm v diligent at it 2 i muz say... i love it actually... calculatin calculatin n more calculatin... its wat i love 2 do best!! whahah... i became such a workaholic man... i even dream of my work... i woke up at 4am cos of tt dream n started work immediately!! madness huh?? haha... but e best tin abt my work is, i get 2 stay hme, wr wateva i wan, sit all day infrnt of my tv wch is showin my new fav channel, bloomberg, n my life-time companion, my comp, is also accompanyin me at all times so tt i can check e exchange rates instantly n input data of new currency ideas or deals we made, n e best wou b, i can slp at anytime of e day whn i'm workin, cos tts wat my boss/dad does all e time anyway... wahahah... i LOVE my new job!! well, it is a job i mite haf 2 do 4 e rest of my life aftall... ~_~" anyway, i nw realise alot of tins abt my dad cos of all e time we spend 2gether, i never respected him much, i jus new he was gd at wat he does, n tts providin 4 dis fam n bein stingy la... haha... but sum of his principles n ideals, i never approved of em... i stil dun, but i can miraculously say, i like him more nw... we may b shoutin at each other all day cos he never listens 2 wat i say til e end or we dun get each other all, but ere's no hard feelins left at all aft tt... we jus try 2 solve it out or move on 2 e nxt idea we haf in mind... n i like listenin 2 his stories... no, its nt dose moral stories wch moses lim tells, its all abt genius, rich ppl like bill gates, warren buffett an all, like wat ey did n hw ey become rich all... its rilly interestin actually or maybe my dad is rilly a gifted story-teller la... haha... n also like e no of ppl in every country, n hw he belittles sg is rilly funny, "singapore is nuf'tin" he alwiz says... heh... XD e tactics tt jap, america, europe n all uses 2 ctrl deir economy or eat up $$ 4m each other all... heh... ok, i shou stop, bet u guys r slpin alrdy by nw... -_-" i dun get hw come dese interest me yet it doesnt 4 u guys... hmmmmm... haha... anyway, besides dealin w/ his forex, i m pretty much like his personal assisstant... i haf 2 help him correspond w/ his agents managin his properties overseas 2!! n tts a ril pain 4 me man... esp readin tt 38 pgs long tenancy agreement!! =_=*** but all in all, i'm in a pretty gd situation rite nw la... ^_^

saikano movie

2006-11-10T05:30:00.000+08:00

i jus told mich tt i din feel like bloggin, but guess wat?? i jus watched saikano live action movie... jus cried like mad, well, nt s mad s whn i watched e last part of e saikano anime... n dis time i rmbd 2 take a photo of my cryin face... haha... i've alwiz wanted 2 haf a pic of me cryin... but god i look like FUCK.... waahhaa... XD anyway, way off topic alrdy...

e movie is like 2 freakin hrs!! n e 1st 5 secs in2 e movie, i wanted 2 skip n switch 2 e nxt anime on e list, mainly cos i saw shuuji, e main actor of e show... e guy ey picked 2 play shuuji is fuckin ugly la!!! i sooooo wanted 2 cry my eyes out den alrdy, cos ey spoilt my beloved shuuji's image... but b4 i cou press nxt, e destruction part came!!! e air raid wch bombed deir city n ppl were runnin n screamin 4 deir lives, bldgs were exploded n shuuji was nearly hit by e wing of a fallin fighter plane!!! n tts whn chise, e main actress, appeared 2 save him... so tts whn he finds out his new 1 wk long gf has bn made in2 a weapon by e japan military sumtin sumtin... ahhhh... deir love story unfolds, more mass destruction here n ere, in e end, ey changed e story quite abit wch i din like actually... e movie went like e war started bcos e other countries were afraid of wat ey created wch was chise e weapon... but in e anime, ey had 2 change her in2 a weapon 2 protect japan 4m e war ey were alrdy in... n it was like e other countries were in full war mode, basically bombin n killin each other like mad, tts y e last part, in order 2 stop e whole war, she had 2 annihilate e whole world n was only able 2 protect shuuji... it was so swt e endin... him wakin up 2 a dust covered world, w/ a big pc of her metal remains infrnt of him wch protected him... n whn he touched tt big metal shard(cos he noes tts her), it crumbled, n he cried... but a small lite appeared n guess wat?? tt was chise!!! tt was all tts left of her rilly... n bcos his tears fell on e lite, she managed 2 recreate deir own city n herself... he was shocked 2 c her n deir own city again, except in dis city ere wasnt a single person besides em... n she explained tt his tear contained his memories, of e city, n of her, n also cos he rmbd all e details so well, tts y she was able 2 recreate it... hwever, it was all only n illusion actually, he was still walkin in e dust covered world, but wat he saw was e illusionary city she created 4 him... awwwww.... soooooo swt... i seriously cried like mad den... but 4 dis movie, it jus ended w/ all e other countries shootin missiles at her, n in order 2 nt harm anybody, she goes up in2 space 2 b bombed... -_- n den e war ended, he goes in search 4 her remains n finds it in e desert, a big metal shard infrnt of him, n dis time, she also din rilly die n creates n illusion of em 2gether like in e past in deir own city... basically almost e same tin except tt e world din end rilly... she jus sacrificed herself... so i rilly stil prefer e whole world dyin tin den her sacrificin herself only lor... but anyway, i tink she's nt bad lookin... n s 4 him, i started 2 accept e way he looks... n maybe cos e 1st part he dint look skinny in his uniform, tts y i rilly din like him at all... but later i realised tt he is actually quite skinny lea.. haha... ah well, tts all i wanted 2 blog abt rilly... n mich, dis may b abit 2 late, but u dun haf 2 read dis entry at all... wahhahaha... XP anyway, no comments appreciated since u guys dunno wat i'm tokin abt at all rite... -_- wahahah... XD

seven sins

2006-10-26T07:19:00.000+08:00

ha mich... i blogged alrite thanks 2 u... wanna make dis s short s possible... jus here 2 show u my results, wch is so god damn borin... -_-" its so borinly norm... god... i hate myself... y e hell m i put here on earth 4?? 2 bore ppl 2 death?? anyway, i shou wrap up my crap tok alrdy... here's e results:

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Gluttony: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Envy: 20%

Pride: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 40%

You'll die in a shuttle crash, on your way to your resort on the moon.

How Sinful Are You?

even e way i die is so nt creative... -_- n i was so lookin 4wrd 2 it 2... arrrrgggghhhhh.... X(

nt disappointed

2006-10-15T06:02:00.000+08:00

i jus went 2 watch e death note movie!! n my title says it all!! totally nt disappointed at all... "zen zen nai yo"-->totally nt... heh... it was beta dan expected, but den again, i did make sure 2 b xtra careful n kept tellin myself it wou b a total flop.. wahaha... but dis 1 rilly amazed me... it also made me learn tt live-action shou never try 2 copy animes or mangas exactly, cos real life can never b s gd s em... n even doh ey changed e story quite abit, dis story was still done up pretty gd, it had enuff suspense n thrillin pts... so it def din lose 2 e manga much.. heh... n best of all, ey still did manage 2 slot in sum crucial excitin incidents 4m e manga, like e potato chips bag n e breakin of lead at raito's rm dr, doh ey missed out e dr lever part, n of cos e big major trick of hw he kept his death note bk safe in his drawer... but anyway, everytin abt e movie does nt haf much 4 me 2 criticise abt at all... i LOVE it!! cant wait 4 death note movie 2... heh...

actually, i had so much 2 tok abt e show jus nw, but so sad i couldnt... 1stly, cos jas seemed 2 haf caught my sickness, sorry jas so v sorry hope u get well soon... so she was pretty much tired n jus wanted 2 go hme rest, n 2ndly, another person also 2 tired n wanted 2 go hme rest 2... -_-" so, sadly mich n i also had 2 leave 4 hme 2... cannot stay sumwhr n hang n chill... T_T but anyway, mich's gonna call me later 2 tok more... heh... ^_^ i rate dis death note movie: 9/10!! ^___________________^

up date

2006-10-13T06:29:00.000+08:00

i'm so switchin 2 live-evil 4 death note epis, ey rel epi 2 in 2 days time!! but i'm d/lin deir epi 1 also 2 chk hws e quality of deir subbin... heh... n guess wat?? perfect girl evolution/yamato nadeshiko shichi henge is nw n anime 2!! it aired on e same day s death note 1st aired actually, but i only found out abt it ytd... ~_~ so anyway, no 1 subbed it till 2dae it was subbed n rel by c1anime!! yeah~~~~ ^_^

ok, bsides e anime stuff wch i bet mich jus skipped tt whole para... -_- hmmm... wats ere abt my life nw rilly?? sick sick, anime anime, tv tv, eat eat, tok tok... wow... ere's rilly nutin special watsoever man... o wait!! my parents left town again!! dis time 2 london... yeah~~~ e nite ey flew off, my sis din come hme 2 slp 2~~~ so yeah~~~ e whole hse 2 myself~~~ heh... i love bein hme alone!! no 1 will bother me, n i wun bother any1 either, e 1st tin i did was bathe at 3am... wahahha... XD wat else can dis "obasan" do anyway?? i'm 2 old 2 b bothered 2 do anytin rebellious n all... i like e peacefulness, i like bathin in e dead of e nite, i like joinin e 2 sofas 2gether 2 form a big sofa bed, i like 2 lie on tt big sofa bed n watch animes all... no 1 2 disturb me, or nag at me 2 go slp n nt bathe so late... o!! n i realise sumtin, i'm such a big baby rilly, cos i wou rilly like 2 slp in a crib actually... slpin on a bed w/ high sides, so tt i can slp w/ my comp n it wun fall off e bed... wahahahah... XD

anyway, more tins 2 bore mich w/, i love yano again... i love e way he loves nana... n i love nana 4 bein e way she is, actin tt way even infrnt of e person she is completely in love w/... n i noe i'll def cry 4 takeuchi whn nana chooses yano... i've alwiz had a soft spot 4 characters like takeuchi,i norm feel e girl shou jus choose em instid, but poor takeuchi, ur opponent's yano... tts rilly bad luck man... haha... bokura ga ita's sooooo nice, its e kind of anime tt i jus cant wait 2 watch e nxt epi... its nt e kind wch i wou put em 1 side n let em accumulate till 10 over epis... n its alrdy bn 14 epis, n it stil hasnt lost my int yet... i mean i'm catchin like 50 over animes titles at e moment... n most of wch i'm jus watchin only cos i started... 4gettin wat hap, nt noein e meanin bhind deir stories, jus tryin 2 c em thru, watch till e end n get it over n done w/... ere's only a few special 1s like bokura ga ita, nana, ouran high sch host club, paradise kiss, n def death note... n ere's mushishi wch has diffe stories tt stirs up dese awwww feelins, like touched or sad feelins, n xxxholic does tt 2 me 2... den ere's dose i jus enjoy more dan e others n dun rilly dread tt much 2 watch cos i do wanna noe wats gonna hap nxt in e story, like eyeshield 21, nhk ni youkoso, saiunkoku monogatari, sci-fi harry... n ere's also akagi wch is e mj anime... heh... n of cos e bread n water animes like bleach n naruto wch is rilly like a part of my life wch i cant do w/out... sumtimes i'm glued 2 em, n sumtimes i'm wonderin whn deir fillers will end man... e other 40 animes r jus sumtin wch i'm watchin like 4 hwk... -_-" so tts my anime life... ha... yes, i'm mad... wahahaha.... XD

version 2

2006-10-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

damnit... X( ey came out w/ version 2 whl i was stil 1/2 way d/lin v1... http://a.scarywater.net/naruto/[TW]_Death_Note_EP01v2_[9751C0B5].avi.torrent hope ere wun b any v3 or v4 man... shou i change fansubber?? live-evil jus rel deirs 2... but i dun rilly trust live-evil... XP heh... anyway, bloody hell my connection so fuckin slow rite nw... rilly choose rite time 2 lag man... haizzz... wanted 2 jus post up e link n go actually... but well, got bit of mood 2 update... ~_~ mainly fed up w/ coughin like mad since 1am like tt... -_- so i pretty much gave up tryin 2 slp since i had 2 keep gettin up 2 spit e phelgm... -_- bein sick rilly sux... hw cou i haf 4gotten hw sickenin it is 2 b sick n stil gobbled up tt box of tim tams?? -_- dumbass is i...

maybe i shou blog sum ril updates since i've bn runnin away 4m dis 4 quite sum time liao... let's c, i'm pretty much happy w/ e way tins r except 4 me bein fat... T_T livin e way i m, throwin all pride n dignity out e window n jus bummin off my parents... -_- haizzz... i wonder hw i can b so thick-skinned sumtimes... actually, nah... i dun haf 2 wonder, i alwiz new i'm rotten... a rotten ass bum... -_- anyway, dis rotten ass bum has bn livin quite luxuriously... watchin animes alot, wakin up pretty late cos her dad din haf e heart 2 drag her out of bed(he can guess she was watchin anime till mornin anyway...) goin out w/ frens whn evenin comes(tts like 2-3hrs aft she wakes up), thus skippin out on dad's supposed fx tutorin... hell, i'm seriously livin e high live of a bum wch i've got nutin 2 b proud of rilly........ -_- anyway, it stil wouldnt b complete w/out dad's naggin... abt hw i cannot bum like tt if nt hw 2 cont survivin nxt time whn ahem ahem... haizzz... i def m afraid whn tt time comes actually... nt bein sheltered anymore... but sumhw, i haf dis feelin i mite die pretty yg 2... like e lifestyle i'm leadin all, i mite nt live pass 30 man... or at best, last till 40 la... i mean my body keeps breakin dwn so often, n i can feel it in my bones man tt cancer or diabetes is on e way... but tt mite jus b wishful tinkin la... XD

anyway, crap abt livin life 2 e fullest, workin hard n experiencin new tins... u live u die n tts over... its crap abt aftlife, nxt life n shit... so wat if i've only got 1 chance 2 live life?? ere's no meanin in anytin tt i experience nw anyway, cos i die n 4get, e ppl ard me also die n 4get... everytin gets 4gotten... so i rilly dun c any meanin in botherin... well, it is individual's preferrences... i like nt botherin, whl others like workin hard n gettin deir rewards... we're all doin wat we like... so tts jus hw it is isnt it?? ahhh... i din rilly cough e whole time i was bloggin... ^_^ heh... tink focusin on sumtin else helps man... doh i stil gotta try 2 go back 2 slp again later... haizzz.... T_T

it's out

2006-10-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

its finally out!! XD e tin i've bn waitin since 3rd oct!! DEATH NOTE ANIME!!! e 1st epi of it is finally subbed!! ahhhhhhh!! XDDDDD yeah~~~ i'm d/lin it nw at dis bt link--> http://a.scarywater.net/naruto/[TW]_Death_Note_EP01_[9B72C4DD].avi.torrent yeah~~~~ ^________^ cant wait 2 watch it... heh...

d.gray-man came out in like a day's time after it aired in japan on 3rd oct, but godddd.... death note had 2 make me wait 4 days 4 it... is ere nt enuff death note fans or wat?? anyway, d.gray-man was nt bad la... i liked e small boy who's e main character... he's cute... heh... n e way ey kill off ppl jus like tt... doh u dun get 2 c bloody scenes n flyin pcs of body parts but jus em turnin black n explodin in2 ashes... stil seems quite nice la... ^_^

but anyway, DEATH NOTEEEEEE!!! ^_^

hayama akito

2006-09-27T01:34:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhh~~~ I LOVE KODOCHA!!! ^_^ i've finally got e time 2 take out e whole series n start watchin em... e last time i stopped at epi 50... nw i've jus finis watchin another 30 epis... dey're finally in junior high... heh... hayama akito's sooooooooooooooo cute!!! actually nt cute, he's so coooooollllll!!! XD~~~~ heh... cant help droolin over him man... heh... n nw he's even taller!! wayyyy taller~~~ lk soooo skinny all... XD~~~ heh... ahhhh... i love obana's drawins... everybody lks so skinny... heh... like ai yazawa's nana... ^_^ sadly bokura ga ita's nt tt skinny lea... but ok la... nt fat either la... but rite nw, i rilly prefer hayama 2 yano... cos stupid yano keeps abusin my poor nana... T_T lie 2 her all... doh i noe he loves her tts y he lied la... but hayama...... aahhhhhhh~~~ XD~~~ his badass cool attitude... his eyes, his expressions, his reactions, e way he toks, moves, walks.... ^________^ but e subbin was horrendous lor... def rubbish subbin 1/2 e time lor... but at least it forces me 2 stop relyin on e subs n try 2 listen 2 wat ey're rilly sayin... doh my jap stil sux big time la... still only understd e easy common phrases... haizzz haizzz... 4 yrs of anime liao lea... stil at dis lvl... T_T sad sad...

anyway, was pretty depressed last wk i tink... dunno y also... maybe cos i'm fat?? haha... but aft watchin kodocha, tink my mood's all beta again... ^_^ i actually wanted 2 finis watchin all e kodocha epis by 2dae, but wat 2 do... i actually haf a life... ppl actually wanna spend time w/ me... haha... XP ah well, i do tink i'm gonna bcome a hermit soon... w/ no job n stuff, i'll b shuttin myself in all e time, unless u guys call me out la... n if tt job agency woman rilly never call me, wch i do hope so la, den i tink i rilly wanna lead my life like tt 4ever liao... no more ctt w/ any1 else bsides e ppl i noe nw, most prob try rilly rilly hard 2 start gettin involved w/ my dad's forex... if nt hw 2 survive rite?? ha... livin like tt til i die... but life never goes e way i plan em... its so ptless 2 even plan man... its even more ptless 2 blog... -_- arrggghhh... tinkin abt life alwiz frustrates me huh... its only whn i'm engrossed in my animes tt its actually pleasant... doh e topics 2 tok abt w/ ppl is greatly lessen... i rilly haf nutin 2 tok abt w/ ppl anymore... ere's like dis barrier ard me liao... n bcos i belif so strongly in it 2, i guess, i'll rilly bcome a hermit... hmmm... i'm repeatin rnt i?? i tink i rilly dunno whr dis blog entry is goin....... -_-

stupid theories

2006-09-22T05:38:00.000+08:00

i cant slp... cant go back 2 slp actually... cos i was woken up by mich's sms... -_- actually nah... nt rilly la... tink its e air-con tt was buggin me la... since i'm still bloody hell sick... its bn 2 whole wks nw... X( anyway, ur bday is drawin near... yet i came out n told u dose terrible tins... haizzz... sum kind of human bein i m... hurtin e ppl who cares abt me... but rite nw, at dis v moment, i dun care... i cant b bothered w/ wat any1 tinks of me... i jus feel like tearin dwn e self i've bn carryin infrnt of u... n b left alone... i hate conflicts so much i'll do anytin 2 release myself 4m it, comin up w/ solutions wch makes me realise hw unfeelin i rilly m... n it all falls in my hands... 2 choose e path of no ret or remain e way u tink i m... either way, i'll never b happy... cos ere's no such tin s bein happy... happy is another made up word, along w/ perfect n definite... in other words, feelins r made up... society tells us dis is wat we shoul feel whn dis or tt haps... so since we r brought up like tt, dese feelins bcome like our "common sense" n so we make em up accordinly... ha... my stupid theories, tt everytin does nt exist... i tink i'm finally tired... i've done enuff damage 4 1 nite... i wish i cou say dis was all jus a joke, but tt wou mean i haf 2 stop blievin in it 1st or erasin e part of me tt came 2 realise all dis...

genting trip

2006-09-06T09:00:00.000+08:00

gentin trip was fun alrite... nice cold weather unlike sg... but e stupid fog spoilt 1/2 my day of takin e rides... i din rilly feel like i played 2 my hearts content cos e rest had no balls... haha... mich was slightly beta, but stil chicken... XP e rides were ok only anyway, i tink i def haf 2 go US nxt time 4 em la... but anyway, we sure did play allloootttt of bridge, n a lil of e new game... heh... n ere's e eatin alot part 2... wahaha... but food n stuff aint tt cheap ere lor... i calculated tt i spent a total of RM130++ like tt... RM50 on theme park tick, RM80 on food... -_-" haha... so anyway, it was all gd till e casino... had a pretty big dispute... haizzz... makes me lose more hope in dis tin called livin... wats ril n wats fake?? e tin called care is generated 4m e heart or e brain calculates it up?? everytin tt we claim n do, r ey genuine or jus e brain tellin us dis is wat we shou do cos dis is wat we tot we r like?? mich jus says i tink 2 complicatedly but i doubt i'm anymore complicated dan any1 else... i'm jus stubborn, v stubborn in believin in my own way n idea of life... anyway, its nt solved, never will b... i jus haf 2 suck it all up n cont livin till it blows up again 1 day i guess... -_-

well, thanks 2 dis gentin trip, i had n idea hw 2 quit earlier... told my colleague tt i cant come 2 work nxt mon n tue cos goin gentin w/ frens 2 celebrate her bday... wahahha... so dis fri will b my last day!! ^_^ lucky i said nutin 2 em abt goin gentin last wk... den again, its nt surprisin... since i almost never opn my mouth durin e 9hrs here everyday... except 2 eat la... haha... cant wait 2 quit n enjoy my short term retirement!!! wahahah... XD

nana movie

2006-09-01T06:27:00.000+08:00

i jus finis watchin e nana live action movie... surprised tt i'm updatin at dis time of e wee hrs?? heh... yeah... i finally decided 2 call in sick later... since i couldnt slp at all!! tok 2 mich til 2 plus... gave up tryin 2 slp at 3am n decided 2 watch nana... i'm goin genting later 2dae anyway, rilly no mood go work liao... wahahah... anyway, more imptly, or at least e reason 4 my update is, i hated dis nana movie!! X( actin was terrible!! looked like sum low budget production n i do applaude e effort 2 make em wear exactly wat e characters wore in e anime, but sum jus looked abit odd... wat i mean is, hachi n nana wears pretty nice outfits, exactly like e 1s in e animes... deir clothes looked like ey at least got a designer 2 esp make em like e anime 1s, but shouji n sachiko n sum others, i feel like deir clothes were found here n ere n put 2gether jus 2 make em look similar 2 e anime's 1... wch rilly looks odd/ugly lor... n e actin!!! X( i swear i cou die... i tink ey sux ril bad, esp shouji!!!! even doh he looks kinda cute, looks bit like e gokusen season 2's tsuchiya, but god he cant act 4 nuts!!! i dun like pract all of em, nana's actin wasnt tt gd, but she sure acted skinny well!! wahaha... damn tt girl's sooooo bloody skinny!! *envy envy* @_@ i tot hachi's actin was e best among all of em, doh it stil sux... she smiles alllooooottttt... its v swt, but seriously... cant she act anytin else?? i guess i had 2 high n expectation 4 it... summo i cou freshly picture all e anime scenes in my head, so at every part i was scrutinisin wat ey missed out or hw badly done it was n wat dey shou b doin instd... i got rilly disappointed at hw ey tried rilly hard 2 copy but failed miserably at it... -_- ok, i'm sorry if i do offend any nana fans out ere, but i'm prob nt in e rite state of mind rite nw... since i haven slpt 4 e past 24hrs yet... =_= so anyway, dis has led me 2 a self proclaimed theory, real life sux ass, animes n mangas can never b reality... T_T i hate bein stuck in dis real world!! X(

youtube discovery

2006-08-28T10:52:00.000+08:00

ha... bit slow i noe... but i din haf time b4 til nw... aft i've clred up pract all my animes n even mangas(at work ~_~") i got nutin else 2 watch at hme liao... i even went 2 d/l e nana movie wch i've bn delayin cos i tot i'd never haf time 2 watch it n it'd jus take up space wch i was v v v v low on... heh... but nw, i haf 2 wait 4 it 2 d/l finis... -_- so anyway, aft tt day i finis readin e death note manga, i went 2 read up more abt it at e forums all... n tt led me 2 youtube!!! wahahaha... i started watchin any death note related videos, bearin in mind dis is all done at work, i'd b rilly busted if ey felt like bustin me... haha... anyway, watched pract all e death note videos liao... T_T but den i also found out got others la... parfait tic, hot gimmick, so many so many!! ^_^ i was targetin e manga titles more cos wanna c em move in action since ey're nt out on anime yet... haha... but ey're mostly nt done up s nice s e death note 1... more of jus showin diffe slides of e pics... but aft tt, guess wat i found?? BOKURA GA ITA epis!!! my god, tts whn i realised tt ey even put up anime epis!!! walau... its like u dun even haf 2 d/l em on bt n u can watch all of it liao... jus in poorer n smaller quality la... haha... so anyway, yes, i'm totally in love w/ bokura ga ita... its soooo shoujo, so fantasy like cos such a tin will never hap in real life... ere's nt such a guy like him alive... ahhhhhh!!! XD i sooooo in love w/ him!! wahahaha... he's soooooo perfectly imperfect, its jus so unbelieveable tt a guy like him will exist la... haha... anyway, stupid me went 2 del e 1st 4 epis, aft alot alot of contemplation, endin up cryin n screamin whn i realised wat i had done... haha... but luckily 4 me, youtube has it!!! i spent e whole of last nite watchin all 6 epis again... haha... crazy or wat sia... but i realised i rilly liked e insert song whr ere's dis lalalalala singin whn both of em r engaged in sum heart 2 heart tok or sumtin... so i recorded every part tt tt insert song played in all e epis... haha... plus i rilly like hearin em tok 2... i can jus pic deir whole scene whn i listen 2 it... makes me smile a v silly smile e whole time... heh... ^____^ i LOVE both of em... i LOVE deir world... i guess i love escapin alot... heh... ~_~

the finale

2006-08-22T10:48:00.000+08:00

i jus finis readin e last chap of death note... i mus say, all i feel nw rilly is dis v pain n sad feelin... anyway, big spoiler ahead, so dun read... doh i noe u guys dun care abt spoilers... -_-" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i like raito!! even doh he's sorta e villian here... but i never ever wanted him 2 ever lose... i never wanted L 2 die in e 1st plc either... n i dun rilly like near at all, nor mello at all... i guess, i jus dun wan it 2 end at all... i jus wan 2 read n read more of hw raito n e others fight each other 2 kill 1st or catch 1st... e thrill of readin hw ey try 2 outsmart each other all... it was beyond words... but nw tt its finis... T_T w/ e endin part wch looks like misa leadin a troop of ppl who stil believes in kira revivin 1 day... makes me feel like cryin... cos i jus feel like ey're waitin 4 sum1 who isnt gonna come back anymore... T_T so sad...

but anyway, i rilly liked e concepts in death note's world... rmb 1 part whr ryuk told raito tt if he used e note bk, aft he dies, he wun go 2 heaven or hell?? guess wat raito said?? he said tt he new tt... he said bcos neither heaven nor hell exist... raito is sooooo smart!!! ^_^ n in e death note world, he is rite... ere's no such tins n aft u die, its rilly jus nutiness... heh... i like tt... nutiness... doh it seemed like a rilly horrid tin 2 raito... nt able 2 use his super magnificent brilliance 2 rule anytin... i guess he's pretty much a ctrl freak la... haha... so anyway, all e ppl tts left r ppl i dun like, so fine, go ahead... live on in tt horrible world of urs wch is jus gonna get more n more rotten w/out kira ard... its ur loss 4 continuin 2 live... XP o well, i hope aft i die, i can go join raito n L in e nutiness... ^_^

late asses

2006-08-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

i slpt at 3am last nite... T_T so tired... T_T 1stly, ytd was thurs, my go hme n watch tv day... but!! cos ey wanted 2 get e ticks 4 genting, ey insisted tt i go 2... T_T ah well... its a freakin trip anyway, ere's no way i'll jus close my eyes n ask others 2 choose 4 me... haha... $92... bye bye $92... T_T but o well, hello theme park!! ^_^ n also dis will b my 1st trip w/ u guys!! ^_^ it'll b so much diffe 4m goin w/ my fam, more troublesome, less $$, but more bridge n FUN!! wahaahha... ok, so i went chinatown 2 wait 4 em, sw was a bit late, mich was BIG LATE s usual even doh i called her like every min 2 hrs b4 meetin time 2 call her 2 get ready n nt b late!! -_-" jas worked til quite late 2... haizzz... u guys wan me 2 go out but u're alwiz late!! X( ok, jas is norm late cos of work, n tt i noe she cant rilly help it, but mich!!! i swear u're shortenin my life by makin me soooooo aggravated all e time!! doh tts nt rilly a bad tin.. XP anyway, u're late 4 stupid reasons like cant choose wat 2 wear, stuck on ur comp, cant wake up, etc... even whn i keep remindin u every min 4 2 hrs nt 2 do stupid tins rite b4 u meet us, u'll say ya la ya la n go on ur comp e nxt SEC!!! ass...... -_-" ah ah... i'm actually rilly tired of naggin abt ur tardiness... 4 1 whole wk it has bn comin out of my mouth like vomit... i'm tired of vomittin man... pls learn ur own self discipline... ur teacher nids 2 go on sick leave... =_=

anyway, i went hme quite late ytd, missed 2/3s of e drew carey show... but def caught less dan perfect!! ^_^ so anyway, by e time i bathed n all, it was 12.. like wtf.... -_- but wasnt slpy at all, so had 2 watch sum animes 2 slp, ok, u guys can stop readin nw cos dis is of no concern 2 u at all... i watched bokura ga ita... so NICE!!! its such a typical shoujo story 4 typical girls, but ya, tts wat i m... haha... but yano's so.... wow... cute, gentlemenly, yet irresponsible, but get tins tt rilly nid 2 b done done, haf tt v strong presence... ah.... he so perfect in a way... heh... n even doh e girl's pathetic in her own way, even doh she noes tt she has so many flaws, but i love e way she toks back... its witty n all 4 such a soft spoken gentle voice... hmmm... i min u gotta rilly hear her voice la den u'll noe wat i min... its so fragile dose kind, but it mite jus b e fake 1 she puts up most of e time cos it does chnge whn she's flarin up la... heh... witty ppl... my office has alot of such ppl actually, but i cant say anytin back... i can only smile or luff... so pathetic i m... so anyway, i admire her la, even doh hw badly she tinks of herself... cos i alwiz liked dis kind of witty ppl but i'm jus afraid of tokin 2 em... afraid of em lookin at me waitin 4 my come back yet i can only stare at em, w/ nutin goin thru my mind at all... T_T i sux so bad man... haizzz... anyway, i'm depressed enuff la... tinkin of hw i'm such n empty vessel n tts y i can only act cute n b stupid... haizzz... hw i rilly wish i was livin in e death note world... den i wou b killed by kira 4 bein a slacker w/ no aim... heh... n so fun, havin so many ppl die everyday... n wats so bad abt a heart attack?? i tink tts a pretty gd way 2 die lor... XD

unfair treatment

2006-08-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

nobody understds me... T_T i'm so sad... u guys dun understd y i love 2 stay hme... u guys wun understd... never will... fine... i get it... but its unfair!! X( other ppl haf bfs n its ok tt dey dun spend time w/ us cos dey wanna spend it w/ deir bfs, yet i cant spend time w/ my animes?? y isnt a date w/ my animes valid?? its unfair!!! do i no longer haf freedom 2 choose wat i wanna do anymore?? jus bcos u guys fil like goin out, den i haf 2 abandon my dream of stayin hme w/ my animes?? its unfair!!!! n i tink jas is 2 pampered by me liao... she tinks tt wateva free time i haf n whn she's bored 2, i'll go taggin along w/ her!! i also haf a mind n life of my own, i also wanna do other tins 2 wat... T_T its unfair!!!!! n u guys were jus jokin rite?? abt nt tokin 2 me anymore?? cos i took a v long n hard time psychoin myself 2 nt take it seriously... cos seriously, i cant diffe whn u guys r jokin or nt... n i jus take everytin s it comes, n fil like crap aft hangin up all... so y do dis 2 me!!! its so unfair!!!!!! X( u bullies!!! T_T

work is crap

i watched 70 over animes epis over e wkends, prob u guys dun wanna hear dis since its abt wat ur rival n i did aft stealin me away 4m u guys... wahahaha... i've clred so many animes i'm dwn 2 only abt 40 animes epis!! ^_^ once i clr everytin up, i wun ever haf 2 fil like doin everytin else is a waste of time liao... wahahah...

i'm screwed O_o

meaninless shit

2006-08-10T10:38:00.000+08:00

national day is over, ere goes my 1 day of hols... T_T i wish it were longer... well, spent it of cos watchin anime... hohoho... no 1 2 disturb me cos dey all had plans or work... hohoho... but i din rilly watch animes, instd i watched e j dramas lyin stagnant on my 2 comps 4 a v long time nw... i finally watched tt last epi of hana yori dango... heh... wch is nt bad la... i rilly liked e 1st few epis beta... densha otoko also, wch made me stay up til 2am last nite... =_= i nid more slp!!!! densha was ok 2... alot of repetition cos it was alot of recap 4 e last 2 epis n e final story epi n e another story epi... -_-" haizzz... maybe its here again... e everytin seems meaninless kinda illness... its haps once in a whl, n tts whn i clr up alot of animes n mangas cos i jus lose e int 2 follow deir stories whn ey jus seem so meaninless... e tins tt ey do, e reasons tt dey do it 4... or maybe its jus 4 ese 2 j dramas la... nt enuff bishis maybe?? cos densha's a terribly geekish otaku n i dun rilly like e actor who plays doumyouji in hana yori dango... gokusen n nobuta wo produce shou b beta la... ^_^ s 4 animes, i caught suzumiya haruhi till e 2nd last epi... kyon's world jus never fails 2 get wackier n wackier... poor guy... all he wanted was a norm high sch life huh... haruhi's stil kept in e dark most of e time, abt e whole world revolvin ard her... she's lucky rilly... but ere was dis part whr she tells kyon hw she realised tt her life was insignificant... tt ere was nutin special abt her, or her family, or her classmates n stuff... at a v yg age of like 9 or 10, n she tot like tt... so impressed w/ her advanced maturity... wahahhaha... so anyway, she jus got sad til she realised tt she shouldnt sit ard n jus wait 4 sumtin special 2 hap... tt she shou go look 4 it instd... n so dis weird character of hers appeared, constantly lookin 4 n alien, time traveller, esper... dis uniqueness of hers jus baffles ppl... but her beauty also attracts em 2 her... i like her uniqueness... its so extreme...but den again, i'm nt s intelligent or athletic s her, n e world surely does nt revolve ard me... haizzzz... i'm jus walkin in circles here rnt i... wats sig 2 me is nt 2 others... so wats e pt of tokin abt it rilly?? u noe, i rilly feel like i cant blog anymore... cos it all jus seems so meaninless nt jus 2 me but 2 every1 2... n e only reason i'm still sittin here typin is cos i've got no other meaninless tins 2 do besides dis at dis bloody office, i rilly wish 2 gif dis blog a break but wat else will i do man... so god damn borin here... no work day aft day... n e paranoia tt ey're all bitchin abt me... -_- damn sianz lea... i haf a mth left 2 work here, i rilly hope ey dun cont 2 hire me sia... unless ey move me 2 e other dept tt actually has work 2 do la... n beta sittin position 2... ~_~ anyway, blah blah blah... meaninless meaninless meaninless...

irritated soul

2006-08-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

1stly, happy bday justine... u're finally 17... nt tt u can do anytin yet... but congrats u're 1 step closer 2 growin old... wahaha... nt funny huh... -_- anyway, i've hit n irritated season... my irritation lvl cant get any higher dan dis, or at least it beta nt... i jus feel so irritated i feel like killin ppl most of e time... maybe i watched 2 much tokko... n anime whr massacres is n everyday tin n limbs n body parts r torn out or sliced off n blood splashes all over e plc... @_@ or maybe i'm jus irritable nwadays... i dunno y, but i wish e ppl ard me on e bus wou disappear, work wou disappear 2... jus wanna stay hme n watch anime... T_T over e wkend, i spent fri n sat out w/ u guys, so i din get 2 watch anime... but sun was blissful... i watched alot of animes... heh... i'm nw way ahead of my sis... but nite time came n guess wat?? she was leavin e hse 2 go 4 a 3 day golf trip!! O_O she told me she took leave 4m work... so lucky... at tt pt of time, i rilly wanted 2 nt go 2 work also liao... wish i coul stay hme n watch anime all day n nite long... w/ nutin 2 interrupt me... haizzz... but damn i'm stuck at work nw... whn i 1st started, it rilly din seem like a dreadful tin at all, maybe cos of e $$... but nw i rilly feel damn sianzzz... i used 2 b able 2 sit ard n do nutin bearin in mind i'm bein paid 2 do jus tt... but nw it jus bores n irritates e hell outta me... i feel like i can jus b hme slpin or watchin anime... X( *guzu guzu guzu*

anyway, watched 2 movies on sat... tokyo drift n click... both nice... ^_^ but i tink click is beta la... made me luff n rilly cry... i n jas rilly waterfall lor... lucky i brought tissues... haha... well, i dun rilly wanna say much except ey're nice n go catch em 2 find out la...

ok... tts all... i feel irritated enuff jus by bloggin... -_-

sianzz sianzzz

2006-08-03T11:21:00.000+08:00

i tink my entries r borin... ere's nutin 2 blog abt at all... life has bn pretty dull... jus work n sick n go out n slp n watch sum animes... sianzzzz... -_-" n its rilly irritatin 2 b sick more dan 1/2 e time... my mouth rilly hurts... e ulcers r gone but nw e tongue's all swallon w/ heaty bubbles... X( in so much pain... n i haf low lvl of pain tolerance summo... cant eat all e great junk yet i'm still gettin fatter day by day... -_-" wats dis man... anyway, jas complains tt i shouldnt blog abt fat me cos she has 2 listen 2 it everytime we meet liao... ~_~"

anyway, ytd jas n i went 2 watch movie... e movie i've bn dyin 2 watch since i 1st saw e trailer... so happy... finally got 2 watch it... doh rite b4 e movie started jas was sayin most ppl told her it wasnt nice... -_-" but it was stil nice in e end anyway... jus got loop holes la.. but who cares... i love both of em... n i tink i enjoyed it even more cos i din noe wat e endin was b4hand... so gd trailer 4 nt givin away e endin n lucky no 1 told me 2... heh... anyway, tot it was rilly swt la... makes me wish such a tin cou hap 2 me 2... but who m i kiddin... haha...

mich u stil owe me 200 odd dollars!!

haha... n i nid more slp!!! T_T i fil so tired n all... n u noe wat?? i rilly got no mood 2 blog la...

e babies

2006-08-01T10:33:00.000+08:00

at last... e bday mth is finally over... e last bday chalet was great btw... we ate, played mj, ey smoked, we played new card game, ey smoked summo, we ate again, played summo mj, we slpt, we ate, we took lotsa pics, we played mj, we break 2 eat, we cont playin mj, we break 2 cut cake n of cos eat cake 2 n had a photo takin session again, n back 2 our mj... n look at e time!!! i headed hme at last... so tt sums it all up... haha.. c a pattern?? eat, sumtin, eat, sumtin, eat!! i swear my stomach's a bttmless pit man... -_-" anyway, sw's bday party is e last food stuffin event 4 jul liao... nxt bday wou b mich but tts in sep anyway... but unfortunately, here comes aug babies!! 1/2 my fam is born in aug lor... T_T ere's no end 2 dis eatin fest man.... X( but happy advanced bday justine!!! since we wun b celebratin urs... wahahah... we celebratin mom's 1 2nite... eatin yet again at pizza hut!! tryin e new pizza out!! looks cheezy!! ^_^

ytd, i was typin n entry actually, but due 2 no time, had work 2 finis up, i din manage 2 publish it... it was nutin much... jus abt hw i wish i was 17 again... cos i was listenin 2 round table feat. nino... ey sang e op 4 chobits... n it reminded me of back den... whn i jus started 2 slide out of livin in plain misery n enjoyin e tins in life rilly... droppin out of poly, nt thinkin n carin so much abt e future, indulgin in animes 2 n extreme... basically, life rilly began 4 me at 17 ba... well, more like i closed 1 life n started a new 1... but i was happy... rilly happy... i never 4got e excited feelin in my tummy... knowin tt i din haf 2 go 2 sch anymore, dun haf 2 face ppl anymore, jus isolate myself in my rm w/ my life time companion(my comp)... but yet stil connected 2 e rest of e world whl online... i dunno... i jus felt like i coul do anytin 4m jus tt spot... jus lurkin ard in all tt many overseas n local anime channels, jus made me feel like everybody's ard me w/out me rilly facin anybody at all... heh... n rmb e riceball channel i opned n u guys visited me ere 4m time 2 time 2 chk if i was still alive?? wahaha... e late nite chats abt nutin but rubbish!! n weird visitors chkin wats w/ e crowded channel!! heh... tt was fun!! ^_^ nutin mattered den... nt e time nt e day, nutin!! i watch anime whnever i wanted, played online games whn i was tired of watchin, chat w/ ppl whn i was toked 2, eat whn i was hungry, slpt whn i was tired... day n nite meant nutin 2 me... i slpt at anytime of e day... infact i din even haf a reg slpin time den... i rmb ere was a period whr i jus slpt 4 2 hrs n woke up 4 another 2 hrs n slpt e nxt 2 hrs again contly... well, i guess u coul say i jus felt rilly safe kept up in tt hse w/ my baby s e link 2 e outside world... ahhh.... but guess u guys wun understd tt feelin cos u're nt isolated freaks like me... maybe justine can understd, but rmb dis kinda lifestyle cant last 4eva... unless u're a rich bastard who doesnt haf 2 work n stil haf lotsa $$ la... heh... ok, dis entry is so borin i prob put u guys in a coma alrdy... heh... o well, i jus had 2 do sum bloggin since i haf no work 4 2dae at all... sianzzzz... -_-

7th mth

2006-07-26T15:19:00.000+08:00

ytd was e start of e chinese 7th mth ghost fest tin rite?? nt like i'm rilly in2 ese tins or wat... but ytd whn we went 2 watch hoodwinked, wch is nt tt fantastic btw... i rilly expected beta la since e trailer looked so nice like tt... but it was pretty lame la... stil had its funny sarcastic parts, but it'd haf bn beta acc w/ a beta plot la... anyway, jas was rilly late... so we went in2 e cinema 1st... lucky e ads v long... den came a scary trailer, mortuary... wch i was tinkin was bit weird 2 show it whn it WAS showin on tt day 2 at gv... den it was scary all so i was jus coverin my eyes e whole time, but it was so freakin long la... n mich was 1/2 coverin 1/2 watchin... so i kept askin her over liao ma... den she was like,"eh, dis trailer even has subtitles ah..." O_O finally her fren pted out,"r we in e wrong cinema??" bwahahahahahahaha... indeed... dumbasses... i din c prop n jus followed e girl infrnt of me earlier on... wahahah... we hurried out cos so scared alrdy... n went in2 e nxt cinema wch was e correct 1... -_-" but hoodwinked stil haven started yet... ads damn long sia... anyway, wat does dis haf 2 do w/ 7th mth?? well, it din hit me ytd or anytime at all i feel... but i was jus tellin my colleagues abt e ytd's stupid cinema incident durin lunch, n den added tt its weird tt e 4 seats we were sittin at e mortuary cinema wasnt taken cos no 1 came 2 shoo us away at all... den my cute colleague said its like dose seats were especially saved 4 us by ahem... cos it was pretty weird tt whn we came, exactly dose 4 seats were empty n e rest of e row was occupied, even e front rows had ppl lor... haha... anyway, maybe e 4 ppl who were supposed 2 b sittin ere were v late or jus sat infrnt cos 2 lazy 2 ask us 2 move... heh... but i'm stil quite spooked by deir ghost ghost convo la... jus nw go toilet tt time damn scared... its nt tt i'm afraid whn i'm in e toilet, its cos i norm take e stairs up 1 flr 2 use deir toilet(cos deirs jus renovated, v nice n clean!! ^_^"), so its e 2 flights of stairs part tt freaks e hell out of me... my imagination jus runs mad man... i'm practically sprintin up n dwn e stairs... haha... yes yes... i'm a scaredy cat... tts y i haven watched a scary show 4 like 5 or 6 yrs liao lor... haha... ~_~"

ulcer victim

2006-07-24T11:32:00.000+08:00

another update u've eagerly bn waitin 4... heh... ~_~ nah... bet u guys jus read dis 2 pass time tts all... anyway, i'll stil go on abt my 3 ulcers u guys r sick of listenin 2... haha... sooooooooooooooo painful!!!! T_T at least e 1 near e lower leftside of my lips is healin, but e top riteside 1 stil hurts, n e queen ulcer wch sits on e top of my palette v near e throat area jus grows bigger day by day!! my god!!! its like a tumor man!!! n rilly hurts like fuck!! X( i haf 2 gurgle my mouth w/ tt yucky mouthwash every 3 hrs like tt, cos it starts 2 rilly hurt by den... n i noe i'm nt supposed 2 b eatin any heaty food all, but jas bday party was on sat!! she got $50 worth of tidbits, n e select caterin wch is owned by sum relative of hers, so e food was incredible la!!! hw 2 resist rite?? u guys went, u noe wat i mean... heh... e cheesecake was delicious 2... n e choco cake was nt bad, but i couldnt rilly taste it cos my tongue was stil pretty numb 4m e mouthwash...e appetisers served on dose small spoons was rilly cute la... n e desserts!!! O_O ey're 2 die 4 man, esp e strawberry mousse topped w/ a thick layer of choc!!! ^_^ her party was hosted at her super huge hse of her cousins'!! wch is like twice e land of mine plus tt long drive way... walao... rich ppl sia... -_- heh... den of cos it wouldnt b complete w/out e overnite mj session in 1 of e rms n dun ask me wat tt rm is 4... heh.. it has 2 fridges stock up w/ tins tts all i noe... haha... ate n play ate n play!! hw 2 nt get any sicker rite?? haha... but surprisinly i stil made it 2 work 2dae la... doh i was v v v late... missed my stupid bus... n e nxt bus was super crowded, but i'm rilly lucky la, e old lady infrnt of me took e last seat on e bus so i tot i had 2 std, amazinly, e ang moh infrnt of me actually gave up his seat 4 me!! wow!! lucky or wat sia... heh... ^_^ so anyway, here i m stuck infrnt of my office comp doin nutin again... doh i did do sum parts reg n organisin of name cards dis mornin... heh... my ideal meaninless mornin... nt 2 b z but nt w/out work also... ^_^

bloody time

2006-07-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

ok... time 4 my wkly update... i tink i'll jus update once a wk is enuff la... dun feel like riskin my ass off all e time... cos dey spot me doin my other stuff here 90% of e time alrdy... haha... curse dis lousy seat!! XD but anyway, i finally got a new comp!! nt at hme... i meant at work la, at dis lousy seat... heh... e gd tin is e keybrd isnt s noisy s e prev 1, e great tin is, dis 1 has sound card!! so i can blast oops i meant play my music softly... heh... well, new comp w/ sound sys, chck!! new fone, nope!! yeah... stil no fone 4 e pathetic temp staff w/ nw 2 comps on her desk(like sum b z broker sia.. haha..), n even n e-mail acc w/ her own name(ey norm dun gif temp staff e-mail acc, but i'm n exception cos i mite work here aft e temp duration...) but stil no fone?!?! man... i almost got everytin... so anyway, crappy situation at work... i stil work like abt 2 mins out of e 8 hrs a day... bored out of my mind man... i'll b completely grateful whn she gif me any work... but whn i find out e work's only 2 mins long, i immediately grieve tt it'll b over soon... T_T

end of work updates, nw more abt me, i tink i'm agein!!!! X( i saw tt my luff lines were rilly deep, n even whn i stopped smilin, e line was stil pretty visible!!! T_T help!!! i dun wanna look old!! its most prob cos i dun take extra care of my face like applyin dunno wat shit cream n all, even a toner will kill me enuff liao... n e facial wash i'm usin nw is quite dry summo... i'm losin my collagen!! T_T i'm gonna b "oba-san" soon... sobzzzzzzzzzz... e other tin i tot was maybe cos i 2 fat, my face got so much meat ere tts y ey squash 2gether so much wch makes it more diffi 4 e line 2 go away... so i rilly nid 2 slim dwn man... eatin is seriously gonna b e death of me lor... O_O

regardin life w/ frens, alot of hang outs w/ mich sng i wou say... her surprise bday party(her bday's in sep btw... haha...) her farewell gatherin ytd... wch all, i ate alot at!! X( i nid 2 stop eatin man!! but anyway, i stil feel like we're nt rilly meetin up enuff lea... e wk jus passes by horrendously fast n nxt tin i noe, i only played abit w/ u guys, din get 2 watch enuff animes, n everyday, i c sumtin tt i shou take time out 2 do yet i cant seem 2 eva find such a time!! even whn i go str hme aft work, b4 i start on anytin, i realise its past 12 n i hafta slp liao!! walao... whr did all e time fly 2 man?? n at work, i haf so much time but i can only jus stare at e comp screen n do nutin else except e occassional scrollin up or dwn 2 show my bosses i'm stil alive... -_-" arrrrrgggghhhh... irritatin!!! everytin's so screwed man!! X(

aint bloggin

2006-07-12T16:13:00.000+08:00

well, i rilly dun fil like bloggin actually... but me n my feelin of responsibility 2 my blog... -_-" anyway, i dun rilly wanna blog all tts hap at work n all... so if u wanted 2 noe, i wou b tellin u in ur face anyway... anyway, all i can say is dis wk aint no gd wk 4 me la... doh i tink nw's pretty clred up all i hope... n tokin 2 my sis sure helped me c n understd beta la.. u noe, tt plcin urself in e other person's shoes tin... wch rilly aint a forte of mine... i'm rilly self-centered huh... if i dun experience e same tin tt person does, i'll never eva tink abt plcin myself in tt person's shoes at all... i wou haf no idea hw 2 imagine it at all... n by doin tt, i'll jus jeopardise all relationships in life... i min, e ppl ard me is fine... i sumhw share similar experiences s em or jus noe em 2 well alrdy... but its dose ppl i dunno tts e prob... n e only tin i v much feel is irritation whn i dun get em... i've set myself 2 b dis immature child who'll never learn n shit... its like i stop time 4 myself n refuse 2 grow up or learn anytin... cos even doh aft dis incident, i realise i shou try 2 understd other ppl's situation 4m deir pt of view, i aint gonna do/tink of tt e nxt time it haps... so ere u haf it, a self-centered bitch here!! X(

n another tin i dun feel like bloggin abt, cos i'll jus b tellin u abt it... dis stupid dream i had last nite... tink its bcos i was sub-consciously tinkin 2 much abt e apology 2 my colleague so i dreamt tt i overslpt e nxt day n was tinkin 2 myself, shit, i wanted 2 apologise yet i din go 2 work, n wats worse, i m supposed 2 let her noe if i eva cant come in 2 work or sumtin... so i jus felt like totally screwed up n lousy, like e matter's jus gonna snowball n all... but luckily tts jus a dream huh... n i dreamt abt other tins wch jus baffled me n dun rilly wish 2 blog abt 2...

anyway, i woke up 2 e sky pourin n all... so i new it was my lucky day... can slp summo n i wun b goin 2 work late again like every other mornin cos my dad will fetch me... heh... n i can also greet my colleague n make my sincere apology... so nw i tink all's fine... at least she told me so... i rilly do hope so man... i like dis plc rilly... i dun wanna go lor... haizzz.... Y_Y

crazy mondare

2006-07-05T11:31:00.000+08:00

update update time... i dun tink its gonna b ez 4 me 2 update nwadays... y?? cos my seat rilly sux... n cos i'm also lazy 2 update la... heh... XD anyway, ey're in a meetin rite nw, tts y i dare 2 type dis shit k... wanted 2 update ytd actually but had no time n all... i actually DO haf work 2 do nw... haha... seems like my cute colleague's finally passin sum stuff 4 me 2 do... its nt tt bad la... at least i wun b bored all e time n haf 2 act like i'm workin whn e boss can c my comp screen...

anyway, wanted 2 update abt e crazy mon we had... went 4 e big gatherin on mon nite at pw's mac cafe... y big?? cos mich sng's back 4m aust n we all met up... a few din come doh... but anyway, e last part whn i desperately wanted 2 go hme cos ey started playin e stupid dare game, ey din let me!!! kept tryin 2 make me lose e no guessin game so tt i'd forfeit... asses.... -_- but luck was on my side~~~ ^_^ haha... e dumb part was i kept comin up w/ forfeit ideas tt made em wanted 2 take revenge on me lor... so ey kissed, french kissed, touch each other's boobs n drum e stupid dustbin 2 e soccer cheer song... wahahaha.... XD almost every1 did sumtin stupid n it was stil nt my turn yet... so e last rd whr angele n jas kena forfeit again, dumbass mich sng suggested tt i do e forfeit instd, den i'm allowed 2 finally go hme... -_-* so tinkin like wth, jus wanna go hme n slp so tt can wake up e nxt day, i agreed... n guess wat?!?! smart asses... use my idea of bitin ears 4 my forfeit!! X( angele din rilly bite my ear off, but jas sure seemed like she wanted a pc of my ear 2 bring hme w/ her lor!!! crazy.... T_T my poor bruised up ear rec such a bad trauma sia... n i literally had tears escapin my eyes.... T_T so wat a stupid game dare is... XP

attn mich

2006-07-03T12:06:00.000+08:00

ok... finally, back 2 update again... i tink only mich has bn complainin abt my lack of updates... so y shou i risk my ass typin here infnt of all my bosses 4 n audience of ONE?!?! but ok, i'm a nice person... n u're my best fren bonded by $$... wahahah... XD anyway, was transferred 2 another dept e whole of last wk 2 help out... n man, dey had chunks n stacks of mountain high B/Ls n invoices 2 sort man... n my usual 5 hrs of play time slowly decreased day by day till i only had less dan n hr left... T_T but i stil managed 2 finis all deir stuff b4 i left la... heh... i'm nw back w/ my cute colleague again... she n my 3 'bosses' r back 4m deir business trip liao... so i've got hardly any work 2 do again here n 'bosses' eyes all behind my back... -_-" sianzzzzz... last wk's seat was superb man!! can c who's comin all... so i actually read manga durin my play time... haha.. tts y din blog also la... whahaha... n summo only had 2 other yg jap 'bosses' who dun rilly care 1 lor... lucky lucky!! ^_^ actually i kinda enjoyed bein at tt dept instd lor, aldoh got work 2 do... but at least i wun b constantly bored like nw... but 2dae ey hired 2 more girls 2 help out at tt dept liao... T_T so i'm guessin ere's no chance 4 me 2 go help out ere liao... T_T sad sad...

anyway, other tins besides my work work n work... -_- i was sick e whole of last wk, so everyday aft work jus go hme... even fri also jus go hme... -_- super no life sia... but sat, i risk my illness n went out shoppin w/ jas n mich... bought super alot of stuff la... spent over $160 lor... finally got a new bag 2 carry 2 work!! ^_^ i love e bag loads la... saw it since last last sat actually... cannot get it out of my head since... no other bags coul change my mind lor... haha... so i'm happy... n bought lots of clothes 4 work... heh... nw i dun haf 2 buy anymore clothes 4 e rest of dis yr liao... bought a whole wardrobe worth of it lor... heh... only tin left is shoes la... sum nicer lookin slippers or sandals dan my current ripples slippers la... but i rilly damn picky sia... ~_~" anyway, big gatherin later at pw... maybe can shop ard pw 4 e shoes... heh... :)

fire drill

2006-06-26T11:37:00.000+08:00

walao... so suai... mon mornin so slpy n tired all got fire drill... den make us walk dwn 8 flrs of stairs... -_-" den stil had 2 walk all e way 2 e opn field tts pretty far away lor... pass some bldgs n cross e rd all... n we had 2 std on e grass patch!! X( wch was covered w/ soil tt rilly looked like dung instd lor... my god... wat luck... n we stood ere 4 20mins?? haiyo... wat a mornin... anyway, e only gd tin out of it is, dis colleague of mine treated all of us 2 ice-cream cos he was jokin e whole time abt hw he brought rain 2 thailand last wk n fire drill 2 our office 2dae... haha...

anyway, watched movie again on sat... rilly watchin alot of movies sia... but dis time e shows werent tt nice lea... maybe cos we watched all e nice 1 liao... we watched king n e clown, a korean show... ere was mich, jas, jas' cousin n mich fren... took up 1 whole row... heh... but e show was ok only la... nutin much 2 say even doh it had gay content in it, i wasnt impressed w/ e pretty boy... dun like tt kinda face la... but mich like alot, vaness face wat... anyway, aft tt was sum chillin at long johns' again... but jas went hme 1st... n ard 4am, mich n i went 2 catch havoc... wch is 1 of e crappiest shows i've ever watched.... dese rich bored kids infuriates me til no end!! my god!! if e show din end, i'd b killin sumtin man!! i cant std seein such terribly stupid bunch of ppl!! ey're like fuckin rich but all ey do is try 2 court more trouble?!?! mad!! if i was tt fuckin rich, i'd b b z spendin $$ on myself lor... buy all e clothes i wan, all e gadgets, eat all e delicious food, den go 4 surgery 2 perfect myself e way i wan, go 2 all e amusement parks ere is in e world, n of cos pay 4 all my frens' tix 2 so tt we can all go 2gether n haf fun!! crap... ere's sooooo many tins 2 do whn u'r filthy rich lor... crap like joinin gangs n gettin killed r seriously ridiculous man... so seriously, y generate more of dese kinds of ppl?? we shou rilly consider human extinction dun u tink??

office shitters

2006-06-23T11:48:00.000+08:00

ok... its time 2 bitch abt my office again... heh... haven blog in awhl it seems... anyway, office shitters... i tink ere's at least 1 in every office... n i dun mean dose tt unknowinly ate sumtin bad in e mornin n had no choice but 2 go crap it out occasionally... i'm tokin abt dose who rilly craps at a daily schedule... i understd tt it helps pass e o so borin time at e office faster... stayin in tt small cubicle of deirs, prob readin sumtin at e same time 2... takes up abt 15-30mins of deir day... no comp or work 2 face... jus e pleasant 4 walls ard em n n aromatic smell 2 go w/... haha... but e tin is, it may b stress relievin or wateva it is 4 em, but it so ruins other ppl's, eg MINE, toilet break... e toilet is like e getaway/escape/paradise away 4m e borin n mostly cold environment of e office... i mean i dun plan 2 jus hang ard in e toilet n wait 4 time 2 pass... but i jus wanna slowly take my time, tidy myself, chk my hair, clothes, teeth, pimples or c if ere's anytin hangin out of my nose... haha... u noe... jus waste abit of time ere... but thanks 2 office shitters, i rush in n out in under a min cos tts only hw long i can hold my breath 4... so office shitters, gif me back my precious toilet break experiences!!! X(

enuff abt em shitters... my wk has bn T-I-R-I-N!! T_T i wake up early, slp late... so slpy everyday!! well, i noe its my fault actually... i chose 2 keep goin out aft work 2 hang in e 1st plc... o well, hope i get used 2 it den... heh... anyway, ytd, we went 2 n apple sale 2 buy jas bday present!! a 1gb ipod nano!! it was a closed sale only 4 uob credit card holders... its 4m 9.30pm til 12am... we riched ere a lil aft 9.30pm, n we had 2 queue 2 get in... e bloody queue was so long we only got in at almost 11pm!! X( e queue 4 e cashier counter was equally long la!! mich queued whl jas n i went lookin 4 her new beloved toy... n a casin 2 protect her 2 b adopted child... haha... in e end, we only managed 2 get it paid n all aft 12am... n we missed our last bus liao... T_T so we walked hme... nah, jus kiddin... we cab hme la... i'd stil b walkin nw if we rilly did walk hme la... haha... so tts e update so far la... hope jas treasures her nano... i noe she will la... if nt hw 2 re-sell it again later on rite?? wahahaha... n happy advanced bday 2 all u so many jul bdayers... we're all broke thanks 2 u guys... wahahha... jus jokin la... XP

double post

2006-06-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

u must tink i'm crazy 4 bloggin twice in a day... or more like i'm rilly free at work la... haha... jus had my 1 hr over lunch... we dragged it till 1 n half hr 2dae... w/ em tokin abt gruesome gruesome movies n cuttin ppl n each other up... haha... luff loads la... but rilly literally jus luff la.. had nutin 2 contribute 2 e convo... ey're rilly funny la... but i feel like i cant rilly joke w/ em like tt, cos i can only joke like tt w/ my frens... so i dunno... feel bit like got invisible wall btwn us... haizzz...

anyway, all's stil fine la actually... jus nid sum gettin used 2 i tink... n nw, my strict 'boss' is on 1/2 day leave!! so he's nt here alrdy!! yeah!!! tts mainly e reason y i'm bloggin again la... wahaha... n also cos i finis up e work wch i said wou take wks?? haha... n also e new stuff tt e strict 'boss' gave me 2 do on fri 2... so i'm all workless again... n whn i ask my cute colleague got any work, she at 1st told me, "hmmm... since our 'boss' nt here liao, u rest e rest of e day also la..." haha... but i insisted tt she gif me at least 1 tin so tt i can do it whn i'm tired of surfin ard also lor... haha... cant belif i actually said tt... wahaha... XD

sleepy weepy

2006-06-19T12:05:00.000+08:00

i m soooooooooo slpy rite nw... thanks 2 e rainy weather all mornin... i kept doozin off whl doin my work... n i rilly meant literally fallin aslp w/ my head stil facin my comp screen, n my hands jus nt typin on e keybrd, but my eyes closed n brain in lala land!! wahaha... n a few times i tink kena caught by sum1, but ey jus walk pass n never say anytin... phew... lucky e ppl here like quite bo chup 1... heh...

anyway, cos it was rainin in e mornin n i had no umbrella n e stupid bus stop is sooooooo far away 4m my office, i had 2 run all e way under e rain... lucky i goin gym w/ jas later, so i got n extra big tshirt in my bag 2dae... so e quite funny tin is, i wore tt big tshirt over my clothes n started 'chongin' all e way.... haha... n gd tin i wore my dunks 2dae... so no drenched feet... heh... yes... i love my work plc!! lets me wr my comfy ripple slippers, my dunks, jeans on fris n even tshirt also can!! heh... nt like last time fillon tech, must wr heels n formal shirts all!! so troublesome n uncomfy!! X(

anyway, watched 2 nice movies on sat nite... watched benchwarmers 1st at abt 2am... damn super funny la!!! XD rilly luff aloud all 1 la... e whole cinema was quite noisy w/ laughter la... heh... i new it wou b nice, got david spade in it!! love him!! so sarcastic all... n summo its a happy madison production... heh... den at abt 4am, we watched e next show, a korean movie called almost love... it was nt bad 2... i noe korean movies MUST watch w/ mich den it'll b nice 1!! heh... n s usual la, no car accident wou make a korean show incomplete lor... so ey slot e car acci in rite b4 i was mumblin "pls dun tell me car acci"... den "bang!!" -_-" ese korean films ah... love deir car acci loads man... wahaha... n also, cos e main guy had such ugly hair, it made both mich n i nt like him even doh he is supposedly cute lor... but e other guy is cuter la... he got v boyish face... den a bit less bulkier... e more lean n skinny type... i like!!!! ^_^ wahaha... n his character is actually a rilly gd guy 2 lor... summo no ugly hair... haha.. so we like him v much... e only part of e show we cried was whn dis cute guy decided 2 gif up e girl n try 2 help e main guy n e girl 2gether... wahahaha... he soooo poor tin.... T_T o!! n 4got 2 tell u, e usher at e cinema came in n gave us free wedges n chicken nuggets!! wahaha... cos ere were only 2 other couples n we were sittin at e last row, he came in n jus handed us e food man!! n mich was like,"free?" den he nodded... haha... lucky... den aft tt, he came in again a few times n sat a few seats away 4m us... i so scared 2 take out e drink i bought 4m cheers e whole time lor... wahaha... den whn we came out of e cinema, he was sittin outside on e sofa seats lookin rite at us... like so paiseh den we jus left lor... but at least we made sure nt 2 litter e cinema dis time... wahahaha... XD

pampered kid

2006-06-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

lunch is over... so full... "totemo ippai desu!!" --> v full.. heh.. anyway, ya... i'm such a spoilt kid... i was feelin sick ytd aft lunch, came dwn w/ fever n body ached til i felt like i was bein teared up in diffe directions... so i sms my mom 2 cook chrysanthemum tea 4 me... den in e end, my parents offered 2 fetch me hme 4m work... wahaha... XD den i watch watch tv all... do my stuff all... 12am liao... T_T again, i ended up slpin late s usual... n i tot tt ytd wou b e day i cou slp early since i'm nt hangin out w/ jas n mich til late... haizzzz... anyway, had 2 wake up at e usual time of 7am again 2dae... T_T n it was pourin heavily outside!! chan-su!!--> chance!! ^_^ i slpt in a few more mins den go dwn n ask my dad 2 send me 2 work since its rainin... ho ho ho... such a pampered lil brat i m... XD heh... anyway, tts my short lil update 4 2dae... strict 'boss' is ard... cant play 2 much... XP slack 'boss' is on 1/2 day leave again!! gd life... -_-" wahaha... n jap 'boss' stil nt back 4m lunch... mus b go 2 dunno wch far away jap rest 2 eat or sumtin... heh... XD

day 3

2006-06-14T10:57:00.000+08:00

i'm nw in2 day 3 of my job... heh... 2dae's great again... wahaha... my in-charge is on leave, so no strict 'boss' ard... my 2nd 'boss' is on 1/2 day leave 2dae 2, n he's nw sippin coffee n readin newspp in e restin rm... heh... n my big jap 'boss' jus went out 4 a smoke... or maybe he went 2 e loo... haha... lucky~~ lucky~~ ^_^

nw, i'm given another v borin data entry job, n dis time i tink it'll take days or wks 2 finis... cos its sumtin tt my colleague only does at her free time, wch does nt exist actually... wahaha... she soooo poor tin la... like got sooooooo much work 2 do... n datelines 2 meet... no wonder ey hire me 2 help lessen her load la... but she's still so b z tt she doesnt rilly haf time 2 teach me stuff 2... haha... so far the stuff she passed me 2 do is v dead borin data entry kinds... n everytime i finis em, she'll like "huh?? u do so fast ah?? do slower la... take ur time... no nid rush 1..." hmmm... i noe tt she rather i do slower so tt she doesnt haf 2 stop wat she's doin n teach me new stuff 2 do... but tts wat i'm here 4 rite... anyway, i did pretty much take my own swt time 2 do e stuff she gave me actually... even chked n double chked my work lor... so dunno is she actually rilly got a lot of work, or she jus does em v slowly... ~_~" haha... but anyway, i like her v much!! n tts amazin... 4 me 2 like sum1 i jus met... haha... she damn cute la... alwiz callin me 2 slack/eat snake... haha... whn she lazy 2 gif me work 2 do, she'll tell me, go chk ur mail la, surf e net all.... but e prob is, i whr got mail 2 chk?? haha... den she'll call me go 4 coffee/milo break w/ her n also told me 2 take s long a toilet break s i wan... nm 1... haha... cute sia she... she small small size 1, look early 20s only, but alrdy 33!! O_O i was so shocked... haha...

anyway, all in all, i like dis workin environment v much 4 e time bein... heh... i shoul go back n data entry summo nw la... ~_~

day 2

2006-06-13T16:03:00.000+08:00

i'm workin nw... heh... yeah... bloggin whl i'm workin... -_-" heh... anyway, 2dae is my 2nd day of work... its bn great so far... e ppl here r rilly nice... n i'm nt sayin dis bcos ey're ard me n my in-charge person can c my comp screen anytime... haha... yeah... i quite suai la... my seat is a bad 1... it faces all of my 3 'bosses'... ok... let me explain... i haf 1 big 'boss' who's japanese... a middle age guy whom i dun tok 2 at all... haha... den another smaller 'boss' under him who's a v nice easy-goin chinese guy... wat i heard is u rilly can msn, sms n all infrnt of him... haha... den finally will b e 'boss' i work directly under... he's a small guy who's thinnin out at e top... haha... my colleague says he looks like mr burns of e simpsons... wch i agree 2 la... haha... anyway, he's actually more strict la... but so far he's stil nice n all 2 me.. heh... so work has bn pleasant... jus stare at a comp screen w/ millions n millions of numbers... input input, change formula change formula, input input... alot of data entry... n cos dis company rilly aint smll la, e amt of data ey haf is terrifyin lor... def way scarier dan my prev admin job at fillon technologies... n its pretty stressful tt 1/2 e ppl here can speak jap... n ey're singaporeans lor... i feel so ashamed of myself... wahahah... *envy envy* @_@ anyway, shou end nw la... b4 i rilly get a tellin off 4m my in-charge who can c dis nw 4m whr he's stdin i tink... ~_~"

monday movie

2006-06-06T04:17:00.000+08:00

she's e man is sooooo nice!! X) its soooo funny 2!!! n so like a shoujo manga la... girl pretends 2 b a boy, n falls in love w/ her room mate... ahhhhh... so classic shoujo la... heh... n i love amanda bynes!! ere's sumtin abt her fat face n skinny body tt i love abt... n its weird tt i stil like her even doh she has boobs... wahaha... XD anyway, i haf 2 make dis a short entry cos i needa wake up early tml n its already gonna b mornin soon.... T_T wch mich is sooooo afraid tt e world's gonna end at 6.06am... -_-" anyway, we caught e late 11.45pm show jus nw n got a free ride hme 4m mich's fren!! yeah~~ ^___^ haha... but poor jas n her eye tragedy... ~_~ hope it gets beta soon... n sorry... even doh just nw i was like sugar hi, prob caused by e smoke u guys blow 2 me -_-, i rilly fil like crap actually... n sorta dragged jas dwn in2 e whirlpool of negativity w/ me... but it was prob jus ur eye doin e tokin la... heh...

gtg slp la... but 1st, sum animes s bedtime stories... ^_^" *snuggles under my covers*

shounen ai

2006-05-31T03:38:00.000+08:00

shounen-ai or shou i say boys love... wch is actually e love btwn gays la... ha... dis is a topic i haven touched on 4 sumtime huh... let's c... i tink in early 2004, i stumbled upon a shounen-ai manga... n dun ask me wat it was... cos aft readin hundreds n thousands n countless of shounen-ai n yaoi mangas, i rilly dun rmb anymore... haha... anyway, besides e fact tt i dun haf 2 c big disgustin breasts n stupid panty shots anymore, its e gentle tenderness tt e seme will shower upon e uke wch totally melts me up... seme=e guy gay, uke=e girl gay... so anyway, deir love stories r sumtimes even more overwhelmin dan a reg shoujo manga... tt was y i was so interested w/ gays den... but sadly... in e real world, most gays dun look anytin like manga characters... n dey're normally nt e skinny, slender kinds, but rather e big bulky macho types, wch is seriously disgustin in my eyes la... haha... so ril life gays disgust me... i jus stuck 2 lovin my manga characters... but i started 2 rilly disapprove of gays again cos i rilly feel so pain 4 e ukes... hw can ey tolerate bein poked in2 like tt?? T_T so poor tin... e anus is rilly jus meant 4 shittin, nt 4 bein thrust in2 lor... so nw i'm fine w/ dem bein all lovin w/ each other but i can never bear 2 watch em go at it ever... i rilly dun understd hw e uke can carry on e relationship whn it fuckin hurts tt bad... anyway, eversince sumtime back, i dun watch or read shounen-ai stuff liao... but recently, i d/led a shounen-ai anime called gakuen heaven... i'm stil at e 2nd epi only so no hard core yaoi yet... i hope dey never show it doh... cos i do enjoy em jus huggin n bein swt n all nw... esp whn ey r all bishounens(handsome guys)!! its seriously DELICIOUS watchin bishounens huggin!! wahahah.... o!! another gd shoujo anime 2 watch w/ lots of bishounens in it wou b saiunkoku monogatari!! dose guys r super uber shuai man!! XD~~~ oops... sorry 4 e drool... heh.... n xxxholic n tsubasa chronicles, basically all clamp animes, haf dose long slender bodies w/ extraordinarily long thin limbs!! dey r 2 DIE 4 man!! XD wahahah... ok.. enuff of droolin la... i shou go catch epi 3 of my gay anime cos it has jus finally d/led finis... heh heh heh... XD~~~

haruhi suzumiya

2006-05-28T05:07:00.000+08:00

jus watched quite a few epis of e melancholy of haruhi suzumiya... n nw e bloggin feelin came back... heh... anyway, i wish i was haruhi suzumiya... n i used e word "wish" cos i noe tt tt will never hap... cos wishes dun come true... -_- anyway, i wish i was her nt bcos she's super pretty(in e anime, she's considered a super pretty girl), or tt she's gd at all sports, does well in her studies, gets 2 bully kyon n treats him like her slave, n basically b absolutely unreasonable n bullies every1 aroun her.... haha... wat i like is, abt her bein "god"... explained by koizumi, wateva she wans or wishes 4 comes true... cos she is "god" n creatin n alterin is child's play 2 her... she does nt noe anytin abt dis, abt e whole world revolvin only ard her... i cant tink of wats beta dan bein god, n livin in ur own created world, n nt havin any knowledge abt it 2 s tt will only burden u n make u feel responsible or wateva all la... cos ignorance is bliss... n havin wishes come true unexpectedly makes 1 happier dan noein b4hand tt ey'll only come true if u wish it.... wat i mean is, its like u haf 2 work 4 it... makin wishes 2 make ur life e way u wan it... well, tt jus translate 2 me bein a lazy ass whose nt willin 2 work 2 make e most out of my life... -_- anyway, i'm nt e pt here... e pt is haruhi suzumiya... but playin god aint sumtin tt'll hap at all... so it boils dwn 2 plan b, goin in2 a coma n play god den.... create wateva i wan n all in my subconscious... live in my own made up world n never wake up til i cease 2 cont functionin... hw swt tt wou b... o well, jus n insight of n incorrigible lazy ass' daydreams... but jus a note, e world i'd create wou def b animated... XD

dis feelin

2006-05-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

i dun feel like bloggin... so i came here 2 blog abt tt "dun feel like bloggin" feelin... tata~~ XD

bloggin crisis

2006-05-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

rilly haven bn bloggin s much s i used 2 huh... dunno y, feel like i'm goin thru sum mid-life bloggin crisis... wahahah... XD i actually fear comin here n seein e comments n all... e obligation 2 blog weighs heavily on my shoulders each time i c dis pg... haha... n i jus dun haf e inspiration 2 blog liao... haha... anyway, i'll try 2 do dis like i used 2... so bear w/ me... here goes...

went 2 e new cathay jus nw w/ jas 2 watch over e hedge... wch i feel its rilly another nice cartoon movie!! ^_^ so happy!! tt i've bn watchin sum rilly nice cartoon movies lately!! nt like chicken lil... -_-" big disappointment man tt 1... n i tot ice age 2 was ok only la... had 2 high n expectation 4 it i guess... cos ice age 1 was rilly gd... ~_~

anyway, aft e movie, we hurried over 2 ps 2 catch e shops b4 dey closed... but we only looked a lil la... i had no mood 2 shop cos i'm fat nw!! T_T ere's so many tins upsettin me nw, but e most disturbin 1 wou b me bein fat la... T_T actually maybe its bcos i'm fat tt i tink of unhappy tins... so my tinkin of me eatin whn i'm sad is untrue lor... its more like i start 2 eat alot den i bcome fat den i get rilly sad 1 lor.... T_T n rite nw e only reason tt i can tink of y i'm eatin so much is cos i wake at 10am EVERY mornin!! n its seriously EVERY mornin, even sat n sun!! -_-" i jus cant slp past 10 anymore... T_T in fact at 9plus i'll b lyin on e bed/sofa forcin myself 2 slp summo cos it isnt 10 yet... n tt 15 mins will seem like hrs 2 me... i'll eventually gif up tryin 2 slp n wake up b4 10.... T_T poor me....

n cos i wake up so early, i've got alot of time 2 eat til i go out n meet u guys in e evenin... i dunno y i get so bored, n my mouth gets so itchy n i haf 2 munch on sumtin ALL e time!! T_T i'm seriously full ALL day!! i wake up feelin full, i'm full b4 i eat bkfast, i'm full b4 i eat lunch, i'm full b4 i snack on sum snacks, i'm full b4 i snack summo, i'm full b4 i eat dinner, i'm full b4 i go 2 slp, n i'm stil FREAKIN full whn i'm slpin!! T_T n i rilly hate feelin full!!! cos food dun taste nice whn i'm full!! ey taste sooooo much nicer whn i'm hungry!! its like a waste of my stomach space whn i eat whn i'm nt hungry.... T_T so sadzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

to you

2006-05-20T15:50:00.000+08:00

2 tt sum1 out ere, doh i noe u hardly ever read my blog... i hope u get out of ur unbearable love soon... its nt like i'm strong or anytin... i jus made a choice n did my best 2 stick 2 it... i noe urs is much harder... but its stil nt a "i cant do it at all" tin actually... haizzz... i've already told u all of dese anyway... ere's nutin else left 2 say already...jus tt u feel so sad yet i cant help u... makes me feel v failure 2... 2 nt b able 2 comfort a fren in pain... all i can do is listen 2 u... n seriously, literally only listen... cos anytin i say wou b rendered useless n impossible 2 u... haizzz... i jus hope u at least get tt gd slp u've bn wishin 4 so badly.... n i hope tt mth comes soon 2 whn u'll finally b freed 4m his clutches... so dry ur tears n swt dreams girl....

haizzz.... i noe jus nw over e phone i told u tt u din bring up bad memories whn u were pourin out 2 me... but i guess tts nt entirely true... n summo rite aft we hung up, my sis came hme n poured out 2 me abt her work 2... she cried a lil... den it started 2 unrevel e ril prob tts buggin her... n tt is, she has no frens... she only has, her bf, me, mom n dad... haizzz... i dunno... i guess bein poured out 2 4 a few hrs str, i got pretty affected aftall... so i'm jus feelin sad nw la...

i din manage 2 publish dis entry jus nw actually... but i'm feelin beta nw... cos my sis n i ended up watchin densha otoko jus nw... wch is rilly nice btw... anyway, its nite time nw n i dun feel like bloggin... feel quite slpy nw... maybe cos i'm feelin sick nw... wch btw i was sick early dis wk, tts y i din haf e mood 2 blog... well, guess i goin 2 slp nw la... nitezzZZzzz~~~

stupid girls

2006-05-15T03:42:00.000+08:00

normally aft i watch finis couplin n once oprah prime time comes on, i'll off e tv... haha... but surprisinly, jus nw, i din... i was pretty interested 2 watch em discuss abt 2dae's generation "stupid girls" who buy branded stuff n dress scantily n shake deir booties on tv... heh... pretty heated discussions ey had ere... w/ n ex music video girl, pink, 4 teens who r supposedly wat ey call s "stupid girls", a "girls gone wild" recruiter, a feminist bk author, a pretty feminist psychologist n of cos oprah... ey said sumtin abt men exploitin women s tools or objs 2 profit out of it n all... i do nt disagree w/ tt, but i dun tink ere's only men behind e entertainment biz rite?? its def nt a v gd influence on nw teenage girls, but if ey dun do e spendin, e country's economy's gonna suffer quite a huge revenue loss wouldnt u say?? heh... doh it doesnt rilly concern me tt much if america were 2 do well or nt... XP

ey said sumtin abt us bein brainwashed by e media... makin us tink we haf 2 b pretty n skinny... well, i do hold quite alot of imptance on skinniness... heh... but if u din care abt tt, u'd jus b a sad depressed glutton... n u'd def b sadder dan e other ppl who goes on diets n cares abt hw ey look, cos at least 2 ese ppl, even doh dey tink dey haven rich e perfect body dey wan, whn ey c fat ppl walkin ard, ey'd feel abit gd abt emselves still... wch i do tt actually... XP wahaha... guess dis applies 2 me n sum others only la... i guess my views r quite narrow s its only 4m my perspective... n maybe i've already bn brainwashed by e media... haha... wateva it is, its stil our choice 2 make... doh we r pretty affected by e media i wou say... hmmm... o_O

anyway, dressin up like celebs, buyin fashion mags 2 c wat u shou buy all, is pretty rubbish 2 me la... 1stly, i do nt wanna waste $$ on pgs of colorful pp... n since i dun go 4 branded stuff, i wouldnt even look at dose mags cos ey only or mostly feature stuff tts beyond my measely budget anyway... i dun haf any celebs i try 2 dress up like i tink... but yeah, i rather dress up like my anime characters la... heh... XD man... i rilly dun get wats e big deal w/ branded stuff anyway... s long s u look nice n of cos skinny XD in em, tts more den enuff rite?? n y buy e real branded stuff whn ppl will b wonderin if ey're fakes?? i applaud 2 dose who manufactures imitation gds man... ey're a saviour 2 me in a way... bsides makin me nt look 2 much like ms cheapo all e time, its also cos i feel ey help e ppl ard me, who r brand conscious, 2 cut dwn on deir monstrous expenditures!! wch in turns helps stop me 4m my blood boilin, eyes poppin, blood vomittin n veins burstin la... heh... XD but of cos, ey beta 1st b sensible enuff 2 noe wats gd 4 em n tt imitations aint rilly 2nd class, cos dey stil hold e same functions e real 1 haf anyway, n tt is 2 b a bag or clothes or wateva la... so bascially, i tink bein calculative mite b e only solution 2 help save dose girls in america 4m becomin wateva it is ey're afraid ey're becomin la... haha...

but actually bttmline is, limits la... its nt a completely no no 2 wanna b like celebs n crap, but limits mus b intro lor... but tts also a matter of diffe individuals... sum haf far greater limitations dan others... n whn i heard e feminists tokin, sumtimes i feel tt ey're 2 over-achievers kind... n ey're sorta intrudin in others' lives dis way... i min i wou def classify myself in e under-achievers gp, totally diffe 4m em... tts y i dun agree w/ em... n sumtimes e over-achievers look dwn on us under-achievers... but 4 me, s n under-achiever, i dun feel hurt by tt at all, i jus feel a lil sad 4 em... ey haf achieved so much, yet it stil may nt seem enuff 4 em, n tts y ey haf 2 go interferrin n tryin 2 change ppl like us?? dis is jus 1 pt wch i'm lookin at la... ere's still many other pts wch depicts under-achievers bein a ril sad wasted case la... but i aint coverin tt... cos i already did in my past n def future entries... haha...

o man... life is such a diffi tin man... ppl say ey worry hw e future generation will b n all... afraid ey'll all b senseless "stupid girls"... well, if u worry tt much, u'll also worry hw ur child will grow up 2 b 2 rite?? so simple solution, dun gif birth... ^_^ we'll jus stop at dis generation n become extinct... no more worries den eh... ^_^ i dunno hw twisted u may tink i m, but 2 me, its selfish 2 wanna die alone, i'm tinkin tt everybody wou b much beta off if we all became extinct... but i noe tt aint gonna hap... i jus tot of a funny idea actually... tt maybe i shou find other ppl who believes in human extinction 2, i'm sure out of e billions of ppl ere's sum like me... den we'll form a club... we stil live our normal lives, but we do nt produce any offsprings... but once everybody lived finis deir lives, e club will haf no 1 else huh... so i guess jus like christians n all, we'll go spread our belifs 2... recruit new members 2 carry on e club... but i tink its quite a silly idea la... cos no matter wat, our club will never haf enuff ppl 2 1 day conquer e world n make human extinction a reality... n i do nt wanna haf followers like dose crazy forceful christian ppl... i tink god mite actually b quite sad seein hw sum of his followers haf become... cos dese nutty christians r def gettin on my nerves n most imptly pushed me away 4m god... doh i'm nt god n i most prob wun b able 2 c my future followers become forceful nut cases, but i stil dun wan others 2 b put thru such irritations 2... n s usual, if a club or religion survives 4 a long time, e true motto or goal will eventually get modified n 4gotten... it mite jus become a join e club n sign dis will tt says aft u die w/ no children 2 pass ur inheritance 2, u will donate all of it 2 our club, 2 help dis club cont 2 survive so tt it can cont 2 help others... -_-" den ere'll b lazy ass ppl managin my so-called club n jus livin a workless life n feedin on ppl's donations... sadzzz.... i rilly haf v lil faith in humans huh... but tts also e reason y i wan dis human extinction tin ma... doh i noe ere's stil gd ppl out ere, but e portion of bad ppl jus upsets me enuff 2 wanna end dis world... ha... i tink i'm tokin like i'm god nw sia... haha... anyway, i've rambled way 2 long abt dis shit la... so tata~~~

stress free

2006-05-14T04:36:00.000+08:00

jus woke up... its nice 2 wake up bright n earl~... oops... i min stil dark n v early... wahaha... XD well, my parents jus left 4 japan... so yeah~~~ at last.... a huge chunk of pressure off my back 4 e meantime... ~_~ n finally, i can lose wt 2 i tink... haha... cos ere'll b no 1 2 spoon feed me bkfast, lunch n dinner... wahaha... n its rilly irritatin 2 hear em say i shouldnt lose any more wt liao whn i obviously put on wt lor!! X( anyway, i'm jus glad i dun haf 2 wake up n face em every mornin 4 awhl nw... its so stressin... bein under deir scrutiny everyday... i'm supposedly 2 b workin w/ my dad yet i jus sittin on e couch watchin tv or my animes everyday... haizzz... it got til a pt whr i jus stopped stayin in e livin rm w/ him 4 e past wk... i jus stayed upstairs in my sis rm e whole time watchin animes n comin dwnstairs only 4 meals... god... den got once whn my dad had 2 go out 4 a temple dinner, he ask me 2 stay hme in e evenin 2 watch bloomberg 2 keep watch on e US dollar, but i told him i had plans 2 go out w/ my frens... he was jus literally fed up w/ me la... haizzz... e guilt of bein n unfilial daughter rilly kills me or actually more like trouble me... it jus makes me so bothered n irritated... anyway, peace 4 awhl nw... shou get sum tins sorted... dun noe if i'm gonna start work s a HR admin nxt wk lea... e pearly woman din call 2 confirm i got e job lea...

watched gokusen live action season 2 ytd... soooooo nice!!! ^_^ i tink season 2's way beta dan season 1!! maybe cos all e guys dis time r cute lor!! season 1 only had like 3 cute guys out of e 5... but season 2, its 5 cute guys out of 5!!! wahhaaha... XD at 1st whn i 1st saw em, dey din look tt cute 2 me la... only e teppei, who's 4m tt WAT gp, n dis taller rilly handsome guy la... heh... den slowly, i realise e other 2 who were e so called 2 leaders of deir gp started 2 look appealin 2 me lor... ey r 4m kat tun btw, another jap boyband gp... heh... ~_~ den e last guy, i actually deemed him s ugly la... but ytd, whn he was smilin n hangin 4m e railin of e stairs, i realised he actually got a tinge of cuteness la... haha... so wateva... a bunch of bishounens is v plsin 2 my eyes... wahahah... anyway, thanks 2 dem, i d/led another 2 j drama... densha otoko cos e v handsome guy's in it n i also heard 4 sum time already tt dis series is rilly gd la... its actually based on a real live story... n e other is nobuta wo produce cos ere's e super skinny guy 4m kat tun in it... heh... ^_^ so ya... off i go 2 watch densha otoko nw~~~

death note

2006-05-13T15:46:00.000+08:00

ere's a death note movie!! XD XD XD XD XD XD "\\^___________^//" hahaha... yesh... dose faces jus shows hw excited i m... haha... no words can express it rite... heh... anyway, jus d/led n watched e trailer... haha... ya la... u tink e movie will come out 4 d/l immediately mer... heh... anyway, its actually a live action... *bit disappointed* but *stil happy la* ~_~ o well, at least e guy actin raito looks v much like e manga's raito actually... heh... dun noe any of e actors n actresses in it actually... wonder if ey went ard japan scoutin 4 dose cosplayers n picked 1 2 play each role... haha... but thanks 2 my lousy screen resolution or graphics card i tink, i cant rilly c L's face... or maybe ey din show actually... haha... but well, cant wait 4 it 2 b subbed n out 4 d/l... doh i tink e earliest mite also b nxt yr?? T_T

so ya, if u wanna d/l e trailer, here's e torrent: http://datorrents.com/download.asp?id=9872&name=Death%20Note%2C%20the%20Movie%20-%20Trailer%20%28580x320%20x264%20AAC%29%20%5BD98AF445%5D.mp4.torrent ... happy d/lin... ^_^ hope u dun haf any prob playin it cos its mp4 format instd of e normal avi format... ~_~ well, if u got any probs, ask sum1 else... i'm 2 lazy 2 help u... wahahaha... XD depends on my mood la... heh... so depends on ur luck 2 lor... XP

anyway, was watchin chinese mtv jus nw... learnt sumtin 4m a girl yger dan me, 18 yrs old only lor... -_-" i min, i tink u guys got tell me b4 also la... but whn she said it on tv, it actually drilled rite in2 my thick skull la... ~_~ heh... or maybe cos tv is jus way 2 influential on me la... haha... anyway, she said,"dun keep fightin 2 make a relationship work like s doh u cannot nt haf it any other way... treat urself beta..." den it sorta dawned on me... i seem 2 haf 4gotten wat i had learnt 2wrds e end of my 18 yrs, n tt was, hw happy 1 can b nt bein in a relationship... at tt time, i deemed relationships s a big boulder of burden... sumtin 1 can do w/out... but even doh i stil new all of dese til nw, i stil couldnt help feelin lonely... tt havin tt sum1 ard was e only way 2 make me happy... i guess sumtimes havin e person u love beside u makes u happy... but havin a wrong person u love beside u aint true happiness at all... cos all i did was try 2 desperately squeeze out anytin out of it 2 tell myself tt dis is e lil speck of happiness tt i'm willin 2 sacrifice everytin 4... 4 tt lil pathetic happiness, i jus torture myself more n more, growin sadder n even sadder... so silly!! 4m e havin sum1, lovin sum1, makin tt sum1 happy, wch in turn makes urself happy, it has sumhw along e way evolved in2, ill-treatment of urself 4 wat?? so tt u dun haf 2 go thru change??

hmmm... actually, i tink so lea... i'm terrible at adaptin 2 changes 4 1... i like doin e same tins day in n day out... bein e borin lil self i m... no surprises n crap... surfin e same anime n manga rels websites everyday... i noe 4 a fact i get pretty agitated whn 1 of e sites is dwn... n i'll feel completely lost if dey suddenly go dwn 4 gd tts 4 sure... serious... i'm nt kiddin... doh i tink u guys shou noe tt already... haha... n i noe my mood cou turn pretty foul due 2 deir dwntime... i may end up starin off n actually nt pay attention 2 wat ur all say... XP heh... man... i rmb whn aniverse server had probs, rmb i used 2 d/l all my animes thru irc last time?? anyway, i made it try 2 reconnect 10000 over times lor... wahaha... auto reconnect ma, so i jus let it keep tryin n went 2 slp la... haha... but whn aniverse officially went dwn, i was pretty devastated la... o well, nt like u guys care 2 noe abt my anime adventures anyway... mich even went all out 2 make tt fact known... -_- haha...

bugis village

2006-05-13T03:58:00.000+08:00

my god... seriously... bugis village is a scary plc man... ere's jus so much tins 2 look at!! tins, tins, tins n more tins!! i was already in my usual exhausted state 2dae, n aft goin thru tt plc, i'm way way infinitely worned out!! n even whn i saw sumtin i liked, i wouldnt try it cos sumhw i had dis feelin i'd c it again at a cheaper shop dwn e lane or sumtin... so havin so many shops crammed up in a plc is pretty bad 4 deir businesses man... anyway, both jas n i ended up buyin 1 tin each only... haha... she bought a cap n i got a denim 3 quarts... dis is e 2nd denim 3 quarts i bought, cos e 1st 1 wasnt e perfect 1 i've bn lookin 4... n dis 1 aint e perfect 1 either... wahaha... XD o well, ere mus b side kicks 2 make e ultimate perfect 1 look like e ONE wat.... heh... ~_~"

anyway, here comes e super ridiculous disturbin philosophies of mine... besides e dyin tots, i've tots abt y i tink dis way n all... e brain works, tots r bein generated, den expressed in words, read by e eyes or heard by e ears, den processed by e mind, makin one's self believe in it... wat i min is, e words tt were used, 4 example adjectives 2 describe one's self or sumtin... den even if its nt true, but by tinkin, sayin/writin n learnin/knowin abt it, one starts 2 believe it 2 b true... n e power of one's belifs may b e most powerful tin... so a personality u never had wou b borned... n since its fake, u can actually jus erase it out of ur system, but whn u've psychoed urself in2 it 4 2 long, dis task will seem impossible... but come 2 tink of it, all personality traits r created along e way s we grow up isnt it?? doesnt it make em all fake den in dis way?? wch min we can alwiz create n erase em if we had enuff determination... so basically, our lives r our own, we make e choices ourselves, wat we r or do is bcos we chose 2... doh our decisions can also b affected by others n we can also affect others... hmmm.... u noe wat?? i lost e pt 2 whr all dis tok was goin... haha... ~_~" 1 whole big rd n i stil solve nutin, but jus made me waste time n inflict more pain on my already v damaged brain... haha... XD

swimmin feast

2006-05-12T12:36:00.000+08:00

went swimmin ytd 2 supposedly burn off e fats tt i've bn accumulatin by slpin on it e past wk... but guess wat?? we went 2 old air port hawker aft tt.... -_-" i tink i def ate back wat i swam off or maybe even gained back more!! T_T o well, it was loads of fun anyway... ere was jas, me, sw n jeremy... we tok lotsa crap, bitchin abt fat n skinny ppl n so on... haha... sorry 4 bitchin again... T_T anyway, it was thanks 2 e bloody rain tt we got stuck ere n had 2 bitch 2 entertain ourselves wat... haha... well, enuff of bitchin, i rilly wonder if i can eva live w/out bitchin... sadzzzzz....

haizzz... wateva... let's move on... nw's anime time!! ^_^ noe e anime called monster?? well, i've bn watchin it since last last yr i tink whn it 1st came out... i hate e drawin, but e story's pretty interestin... slowly, n i mean v s~low~ly unrevelin e mystery all... so sumtimes, i'd dread watchin it cos i got lost at whr it was supposed 2 b goin n all... anyway, i may haf 4gotten parts of e story liao... haha... but rite nw, i'm dwn 2 e last few epis, epi 72... in fact ytd i watched 4m epi 62 all e way til epi 72 at 1 shot!! it was so bloody interestin man, eyes completely glued 2 e screen n clickin on next immediately once e endin song came up... sadly, even doh i've got e last 2 epis, 73 n 74, but i gotta wait 4 my sis 2 watch em 1st den i can get my hands on em... T_T dun ask me y.. its a long story... haha... anyway, i dun wanna describe wats e story abt all, so jus gonna tok abt dis 1 tin... 1 of e characters grew up in a torture chamber orphanage, bein tortured, tested on n all everyday,thus he lost human feelins... even whn his own son died, he couldnt cry or feel sad... anyway, twisted s he is, he's stil a kind person who helps kids n e ppl he meets... but its nt like he's doin it 4m e bttm of his heart, but bcos he was told tt e rite tin 2 do is 2 help ppl, tt whn sumtin gd hap he was supposed 2 smile n frown whn its bad... basically, he tries his best 2 act out e emotions wch he lost... but e last part b4 he dies, he finally cries real tears n says tt he is nt cryin bcos he's gonna die, but he finally feels sad tt his son died, tt he din lose his feelins, dose feelins were jus hidden sumwhr in him all dis time... den he dies... T_T den another was sayin tt its wrong 4 1 2 rob away e feelins of another, tt humans cannot live w/out feelins... basically, human emotion n all is supposedly a v impt tin in e show or at least at tt time n plc, e aft war kinda germany... but in dis day n age, ere's ppl voluntarily tryin 2 lose deir own feelins, numbin emselves til dey dun fil anytin anymore... we r all born w/ feelins n w/ e environment we grow up in, feelins develop in2 a big part of us... we're nt hollow robots at all... never will b... its impossible 4 us 2 lose our feelins at all... haizzzz... crap... dun listen 2 me... wch u dun anyway... -_- i shou go watch summo anime nw n 4get abt myself... tata~~~ XP

death wish

2006-05-11T12:33:00.000+08:00

went 2 watch daisy ytd w/ mich n jas... it was nice, but sad... T_T ere was e girl who acted in e sassy girl movie but she seemed 2 haf put on sum wt... heh... n also tt fireman guy 4m a season 4 love movie 2... well, at least i jus teared 4 dis show, i din like cry uncontrollably like a baby or sumtin like i did 4 e a season 4 love show... ~_~"

anyway, i dunno wat 2 say abt e show except, ey r all v ill-fated la... rilly la... i dun tink any1 in real life will go thru tt la... at least i can confirm i wun, i mean i'm livin in sg, no serious shit goes on ard here... -_- haha...

so anyway, ill-fates aside, i was reminded ytd tt it was 1 of my dreams 2 b a fire fighter... heh... i'm stil figurin out dis meaninful livin shit... n it may b e wrong way 2 go abt it, but e reason i wanted 2 b a fire fighter, was so tt whl riskin my life 2 save others, i might actually die in 1 of my rescue missions... n wat beta way 2 die dan dyin in order 2 help ppl... well, i do admit tt its nt purely out of jus helpin ppl, but 2 justify my death wish... i mean, i dun mind helpin others if it doesnt create 2 much trouble 4 me... but havin e incentive of death n a much more honorable 1 2 dan commitin suicide, is sumtin i wouldnt like 2 pass up man... b4 i tot of hw incredibly ridiculous dis idea is, i came up w/ a bunch of reasons y i cant make it s a fire fighter... i'm nt strong enuff... sadzzz... if ey had a ht requirement, i'd def nt make it... n i dun mind runnin aroun in e hot sun if i'm completely covered in deir heavy gear uniform, but i def dun wanna do practice drills in jus t-shirt n pants n get exposed 2 e sun... cant afford 2 get any darker ya... haha... n dis is sg... wat fires r ere?? i dun wanna go ard savin stupid cats 4m trees or settin up big inflatable air mattress balloon 4 suicidal ppl 2 jump on... so bein a fire fighter is out... den it finally set in, wats e pt of livin a meaninful life if u're jus actin it out w/ n ulterior motive bhind it... it shou b sumtin 4m e heart rite?? i dunno... it jus feels v much hollow rite nw... sumtimes i feel tt practicality is keepin me alive... like i'm nt livin cos my heart wants 2, but e pumpin action of my heart keeps me alive... get wat i mean??

well, enuff abt crap... my head's overloaded w/ tinkin 2 much abt dis meaninful livin tin... its beta nw actually... i'm glad i haf sumtin else 2 tink abt whn i'm alone or sumtin... cos music doesnt help me anymore... so sad... i used 2 wanna travel alone n all last time so tt i cou listen 2 w-inds' songs... but tt aint e case anymore... sadzzzzz......

bleach 79

2006-05-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

bleach 79 is out!! ^_^ here's e torrent 2 d/l it!!

http://yhbt.mine.nu/t/b79.torrent

"\\(^_^)//""\\(^_^)//""\\(^_^)//"

meaninful livin

2006-05-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

supposed 2 b on my way 2 sg expo nw 2 take my 1st paper... but never intended 2 go 4 it in e 1st plc anyway... i noe my parents saw my exam timetable wch was mailed over... but was jus hopin dey dun rmb... wch ey din... till jus nw... -_- my dad suddenly went,"rnt u supposed 2 b goin 2 sch 2dae?!" i wonder if he even new it was n exam i was supposed 2 take... anyway, jus gave him e "ahh... mmm... ehhh..." responses la... hear him lecture abit... den reply w/ e "its impossible 4 me 2 get tt dip la..." den he finishes up his lecture... luckily, my mom was upstairs den... so she din noe.. n gd tin my dad din mention it 2 her... or at least by e time she came dwn, he was fast aslp on e couch... wahhaha... XD

dis wou b e paragraph whr i proclaim hw useless n fucked up i can b, but 4get it... every1's sick n tired of hearin it, n i cant b bothered 2 state sumtin so obviously true... wahhaha... XD anyway, i'm tired... u've bn hearin tt alot 2 huh... well, i realise ere's nt a single pt in my whole day tt i'm nt tired, whn i basically do nutin but eat n slp everyday... even e times whn i'm tryin 2 slp at nite, i'm also tired... but jus cant slp... makes me wonder, m i rilly tired?? or m i tired of leadin dis useless lifestyle?? i finis watchin shinigami no ballad e other nite, n rite aft e last epi, i had dis sudden urge 2 live my life 2 e fullest... but tt tot immediately crumble aft i did summo tinkin... -_-" wat did i haf 2 do?? end dis lifestyle, study sumtin n actually put effort in2 it?? nah.. 4get it, tts impossible... get a job n work hard at it?? nah... i dun wanna work all my life... do charity work n make e world a beta plc... tts jus nuts!! XD haha... i jus added tt in 4 fun btw... heh... so u c... i gif up easily man... but tts nt e pt here anyway.... livin life meaninfully huh... actually, i dunno wat else 2 say liao... my mind's a complete mess rite nw abt dis meaninful livin tin... haven tot it thru yet... dun tink i will 4 a million yrs more doh... wahaha... XD

anyway, w/ all tt eatin n slpin str aft, i've grown fat!! T_T i dunno if my weighin scale is spoilt doh i doubt so, it shows tt i've gained 3 kgs... T_T but i guess it must b true... feel rilly fat n bloated lately... sadzzz sadzzzz... i tink i haf 2 go 4 a major crash diet or sumtin... slp more n eat less!! wahahaha.... XD

exhausted dreamer

2006-05-08T01:53:00.000+08:00

woke up nt long again... slpt 8 hrs dis time... i dunno if i'm jus tired or wat anymore... i'm startin 2 tink all e tins tts buggin me is makin me escape 2 dreamland.. doh it aint tt nice in dreamland either... bad dreams 1 aft another... i wake up feelin worse dan crap... but e silverlinin of it all is, it was only a dream... unlike tins tts rilly happenin in ur bloody life... u cant wake up 4m em... u jus haf it piled up higher n higher in ur troubles zone... i already feel exhausted jus by tinkin of all e fuckin tins goin on...

anyway, i dunno if i can stil go back n slp 2nite... i haf 2 wake up early tml... god... my slpin illness isnt v helpful at all... it jus makes me slp whn i most prob dun rilly nid 2 or shouldnt at all, n e crucial times like dese whn i haf 2 wake up early e nxt day, it fails me completely... hw many mornins haf i gone super dazed, hw many aftnns haf i curled up in bed n snoozed off, hw many outins haf i missed cos i was 2 tired n hw many times haf i disappointed u guys by slpin.......

i guess, all i jus wanna say nw is, i'm rilly v exhausted....................

bad dream

2006-05-07T05:11:00.000+08:00

i jus woke up 4m a bad dream wch makes me unable 2 cont slpin... on fri nite, i missed my chance 2 slp... n on sat mornin, i immediately went out w/ my family 2 billy bombers 2 celcebrate n early mom's day... sadly, e burger we ordered wasnt tt gd... 2 dry n all... anyway, went hme ard 1pm n finally kong 2 slp on a v full stomach mind u... T_T

so tts whn my v long dream started... i dun rmb wat hap in e frnt part cos so many tins hap n it was 2 long ago... but 2wrds e last part, i was a student... sch jus finis... had 2 go hme... walk 2 e bus stop outside, wch miraculously turned in2 my nearby hse bus stop.. n i waited 4 a bus 4 n hr over... but only weird no. buses like 630, 996 or sumtin came n went... nxt tin i noe, ishida(4m bleach) invited me 2 go visit him... n i was so frustrated tt e bus wasnt comin... n e nxt bus wch came was 64 or 65 i tink... n i jus got on it... asked e bus driver if it was goin 2 mountbatten rd or sumtin wch i wanted 2 go 2... n he said ya... actually i wasnt sure whr ishida stayed at.. jus new it was smwhr ere...

e bus was rilly crowded so i was stdin n dis girl seated infrnt of me asked if i was visitin ishida... den i was like ya... den she said she was 2, n tt she was his classmate, wch is pretty weird cos i tink earlier on i was invited 2 his hse cos i'm his classmate also or sumtin... so anyway we sat 2gether... asked her if she new wats his add... n she went no she din either... -_-" but we were along mtbatten rd n e hses looked like ishida's kinda hses, all big n landed n rich n all... so we got dwn... den she msged him tt we shou b ard his hse n ask whr is it so tt we cou go over...

e neighborhood suddenly warped in2 1 w/ n arcade, supermkt, cinema, shoppin centre all... like a small town in america or sumtin... anyway, ishida told us 2 meet him at "then", a closed shop up frnt... so we headed tt direction... n at e entrance, ere were a flight of stairs, e whole backgrd n stairs were all black... e stairs were pretty hi like dose 2 ps gv cinema entrance like tt... n s i was climbin it, e girl riched e top already n was tokin 2 him already... he was standin at e left side, hidden bhind a pillar... n s i started 2 emerge 2 e top, i slowly started 2 c his shoes, crossed 1 aft another infrnt of him... den more n more uncovered til e top of his head... it wasnt ishida at all... but in my dream, tt was fine... i stood leanin against e railin tt was situated at e center of e stairs, exactly like e ps gv stairs la... we all tok n he started tokin abt receivin sum solar powered rewards 4m i dunno wat comp or camp he joined... basically, nutin was makin any sense 2 me... n e girl was noddin her head n all, like she understood everytin... n i was sayin i was rilly lost n confused... n she actually tried explainin 2 me 2... den he rich over 2 i dunno pat me or sumtin, n i jus smacked his hand away ril hard b4 he cou touch me... e sound jus echoed thru e plc... n both of em were pretty shocked at my actions...

den e plc suddenly changed in2 a shoppin centre w/ a table n seats beside me.. i was leanin on a railin again... e ppl seated n standin ard e table whr classmates or sumtin... we were all handin up projs 2 dis big boss girl ere or sumtin... n he n e other girl b4 handed in deir gp's proj 2 e boss girl... n e boss girl was v impressed n sayin tt it was so welly done tt no 1 in class cou beat deir proj all... den i was tinkin of my gp's proj, n i realised tt i never helped chip in at all 4 e proj, cos i cant even rmb hw our proj looked like at all...i was jus devastated n depressed n all whl tt boss girl was still goin on abt hw gd deir proj was... i started walkin away, n e plc became a giant supermkt nw... n i was searchin 4 my mom n sis dis time... whn i finally found em in e huge ass supermkt, i woke up...

n so here i m typin dis entry... i jus feel v disturbed by it stil... well, anyway, i tink it was my fault in e 1st plc... i shou never go 2 slp on a full stomach again... i alwiz get bad dreams aft tt... but slpin 4 15 hrs like tt was gd la... catch back all e slp i've bn missin...

anyway, tink i go catch sum animes la... finally gonna watch nana nw actually... ~_~"

old songs

2006-05-06T03:51:00.000+08:00

watchin chinese mtv e other nite n heard dis song...

i rmb hearin dis whn i was yg... aft tt it jus kept playin over n over again in my head so i had 2 d/l it... but wat luck... took me almost 2 days 2 d/l dis 2.96mb song... -_-" anyway, went 2 search 4 e lyrics 2 cos i was so awed 2 find out tt she was actually singin,"i saw e sign" s i've alwiz tot since yg tt it was,"i saw e sun" till i saw tt mtv... wahahah... silly me...

Ace Of Base - The Sign

I, I got a new life, you would hardly recognize me, I'm so glad
How can a person like me care for you?
I, why do I bother, when you're not the one for me?
Oo-hoo-hoo-oo-oo
Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?

I, under the pale moon, for so many years I wondered who you are
How could a person like you bring me joy?
Under the pale moon, where I see a lot of stars
Oo-hoo-hoo-oo-oo
Is enough enough?

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?
Oh, oh-oh-oh

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind
And I am happy now living without you
I've left you Oh, oh-oh-oh
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong

(I saw the sign, I saw the si-ee-ign) I saw the sign
(I saw the sign, I saw the si-ee-i-ee-ign)
(I saw the sign, I saw the sign)
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign

n thanks 2 dis song, i rmb another song wch i liked whn i was even yger...

god... i rilly used 2 love dis song man... i was rilly surprised at 1st whn i 1st found out it was sung by madonna back den... haha... but everytime i heard it, it made me tink tt e world was like a nice, safe plc, like dose fairytale land in disney cartoons... but sadly, reality aint like tt at all is it..........

Madonna - Dear Jessie

Baby face don't grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lantern
He will make your dreams come true for you

Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover that
Brings good luck to you, it's all true

Chorus:
Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I said, hang on you're already there

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

T_T

bloggin's evil

2006-05-04T08:13:00.000+08:00

yeah~~~ jus woke up at 7am... jas mus b ril proud of me 4 bein such a super pig!! wahaha... i cant belif i'm able 2 slp 4m 3am til 7am whn i jus woke up at 8pm ytd... haha... maybe i've bn hit by sum slpin diesease?? or signs tt i'm dyin soon?? nah... cant b tt lucky... wahaha... XD

anyway, i rilly m bloggin much less nw huh... tts bcos i normally haf e urge 2 blog at wee hrs of e nite, wch i'm supposed 2 b slpin... -_- n if i do blog at wee hrs of e nite, i end up nt bein able 2 slp aft tt... n tts hw i ended up wakin up at 8pm ytd... -_- bloggin's e devil man... haha... it rilly screws my time up... so anyway, i tink i shou jus try 2 blog in e mornins nw aft i wake up... ^_^

hmmm.. bn a long time since i tok abt animes huh... heh... well, jus watched lots of bleach til epi 77!! sooooo nice!! i new it wouldnt fall short of my expectations since e 1st time i picked up e manga 2 read... heh.. n i love e 3 new plushie toys!! ^_^ n kon is stil damn cute n funny la... sayin tt he tot he was finally able 2 win e spot of e cute lovable plushie in e show, n yet dese 3 had 2 appear!! wahahah... XD but dun worry kon, i stil love u best!! u're on my no. 1 spot, den e chicken, den e green masked 1, den e stupid rabbit... haha... i love e chicken's eyes la... O_O 2 big rd circles whn she's shocked all!! so kawaii!!! XD heh... den e green masked guy is so cool!! love his quietness!! den ans w/ 1, 2 words only 1!! sooooo kakkoii!!! XD den e stupid rabbit, hmmm... nutin much abt e rabbit tt i like actually... wahahaha... poor rabbit or wateva its supposed 2 b actually... whahaha... nobody in e show bothers abt him... alwiz tokin 2 himself... heh... maybe tts wat i like abt him la, e comic relief guy... heh...

n e endin theme song!! sadly ey changed it liao... but i rilly loved it la... got e 3 plushies... do tt cute pyramid like dance, e cute 1 by 1 dance, e cute singin dance, everytin jus shouts CUTE la!! XD

purple scrapbk

2006-05-03T03:51:00.000+08:00

din blog 4 2 days huh... missed me?? wahahha... XP mich even called me jus nw 2 ask me y... heh... o well... nutin 2 blog abt la... 2 tired n lazy... needa wake up early n stil slp so late summo.. T_T

anyway, haf a reason 2 blog... its quite weird actually... i suddenly decided 2 take out sumtin 2 read wch i haven done so in ages... its tt chunky purple scrapbk w/ blue fury feathers stickin out of it... bet u guys dun rmb... haha... its my 17th yr old bday scrapbk tt cam made by goin thru all e trouble of askin u guys 2 write stuff in it... rmb?? well, i haven read it in a long time cos it was all filled up w/ stuff abt me n harry or i used 2 call him "mao mao"... heh... ~_~

so weird, jas din write in it... T_T o well, she was 2 b z w/ daryl n peaches n herbs den i guess... anyway, i realised sumtin... besides every1 sayin congrats on havin my 1st bf, ey all said e same tin, "big already ah... dun act like a kid anymore"... wch also made me realise tt u guys haf bn sayin dis 2 me every yr on my bday since 4 yrs back!!! wahahha... XD

readin all tt stuff, made me feel so nostalgic all... tt was e beginnin of our separation in a way actually... no sec sch 2 bound us 2gether... but sumhw, along e way, we stil managed 2 stay 2gether again... ^_^

doh sum of e ppl in it were my kenny rogers' colleagues whom i dun tok 2 anymore... like tt cute, but v misleadin wei sheng, heh... n tt pretty rubbishy jake, n eugene!! he's soooo funny!! n of cos harry... readin his was e most unbelieveable 1... w/ his ugly chinese characters n pretty meaninless sentences wch i feel r pretty pathetic... ere's 1 rilly stupid part, whr he said in chinese,"thank u 4 givin me a chance even doh i'm malaysian..." *roll eyes* haha... hw shallow can he get man... i'm nt even racist in e 1st plc lor.. o well, he din noe me tt well anyway... i dun get hw come i can alwiz delude myself n nt c tt sumtin is wrong whn ey tok 2 me so weirdly all man... o!! n another tin i realised, harry had thick lips.. den i tot abt juf n i realised he had thick lips 2!! wahaha... XD eh... did he?? hmmm.. great... i dun rmb hw he rilly lks like liao... ~_~ but thick lips is still nicer 2 kiss i tink... heh... XP

cam also pasted e pics we took at tt rilly wet cleanin up party at kenny rogers... e guys were shirtless n sprayin e water hose at everybody n pourin buckets of water at each other... XD it was a whole lot of fun n wet la... haha... n i rmb havin 2 go hme soaked wet 2 my underwr... haha... XD

well, tt was a fun chp 4 me... its closed nw, but thanks 2 cam, i stil haf a scrapbk of memories of it!! ^_^ heh... *muackx muackx* 2 cam 4 bein so swt n all n puttin in so much effort in tt scrapbk wch was all purple w/ butterflies n more purple!! heh... XD n u guys 2 4 nt leavin dis group wch we built up since pri n sec sch like tt... ^_^

all's good

2006-04-30T07:15:00.000+08:00

ok... everytin's cleared nw i tink... ^_^ called jas n tok tins out... dun rilly fil like goin in2 details, but basically, tink we both got 1 another... yeah~~~ ^_^

so much makin n changin n makin n changin n makin n changin of plans 2dae... wahahha... seriously... spent 4m e time i woke up at 4 or 5 till abt 8 jus doin all tt... n in e end, we settled w/ another mj nite... -_-" so 3 mj nites in a row!! crazy man... tink i'm goin blind cos i'm seein 2 much of cam's glittery green tiles we bought 4 her bday!! XD heh... so tink we all nid a break 4m mj 4 awhl... ~_~

anyway, shou catch sum slp, bn slpin less dan 5 hrs each day 4 e past few days actually... T_T sad sad... had 2 much 2 tink n couldnt slp all... but guess nw i shou b able 2 dream away w/ no worries... ^_^

dis entry's rilly borin... -_- bye... XP

cute quote

2006-04-29T06:26:00.000+08:00

saw dis on angele's blog:

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die."

i disagree!!! i dun care abt heaven, n i do wanna die!! >_<*

so its nt everybody k... wahaha... XP

mahjong bitch

2006-04-29T05:26:00.000+08:00

mj conflict... god... conflicts will never end... n if dis carries on, i'm gonna lose 1 of e few tins i live 4... n tt is 4 u guys... i noe i was a complete bitch jus nw... i feel like i cannot explain in real life anymore... bloggin is like e only way i can phrase wat i wanted 2 say...

anyway, i jus wanted ur sympathy, tt i lost $38 ytd... i played all e way till "bei feng" den i finally won my 1st 20 cents... i'm nt kiddin... i tink i emptied out my drawer at "nan feng" n had 2 borrow $20 4m cam so tt i cou cont payin em $$... -_- we started w/ a $20 bal, i lost $20, borrowed another $20 n i ended up w/ only $2 left... tt was simply demoralisin k... i mean u shou noe hw tt feels also whn u play w/ aaron n his frens rite??

n 2dae i was also stil losin at 1st rite?? but at least at "nan feng" i managed 2 win a lil back... i agree it was v stupid of me 2 throw my tantrum like tt 4 throwin tt stupid wrong tile... n bein e way i was e rest of e time... tt i def went over brd... but aft tt it was jus hard 2 b back 2 e way i was cos e fit i threw was ridiculously outrageous... n at tt pt of time, i rmbd wat i blogged abt... abt nt bitchin... n realised i was bitchin 2 u abt ytd's losses n tryin 2 get sumtin out of u... i was doin wat i wasnt supposed 2 do!! so i guess, since tins were already tt way, i mite s well jus carry on keepin quiet n stop bein such a clown 2... tt only made me look like i was angry doh... wch i was la, but at myself... doh i did realised tt i started winnin more whn i jus shut up... maybe i've bn wastin 2 much energy bein a clown sumtimes...

anyway, i shou rilly stop bein so worked up whn losin $$ at mj... so e only solution i tot of was dis... i record every profit n loss 4m nw onwrds... its 2 bad i din do dis 4m e start... den at least i wouldnt b so temperamental nw whn i lose cos i guess whn i tink back, i shou haf stil won more den i lost... so wateva it is, i'll jus start on a clean slate... dis may b ril calculative of me... but wateva... i only seem 2 rmb losses more dan winnins, so dis is e only way 2 stop my seriously stupid acts at mj...

but i'm still fed up... i noe its stupid... 2 wanna die over small tins... i fil so irritated tt livin means havin 2 face tins like dese... god... is dis also considered bitchin?? i shou jus shut up rite?? nitezzzZZzzz... -_-

bitchin bitch

2006-04-28T02:36:00.000+08:00

i haf a serious major prob, i bitch 2 fuckin much!! n rite nw, i'm stil bitchin!! n its most prob gonna make tins worse or u mite even hate me more instd... but dis is e only way i wanna explain... thru bitch bloggin... cos i'm a fuckin bitchin bitch!!

2dae we were supposed 2 go swimmin, but i woke up 2 mich's sms tt said she wanted 2 play mj 2nite instd cos she cant make it tml, fri... sat she workin, wun b able 2 play mj w/ us 2... so i called cam up 2 c if she can play mj 2dae, wch she said shou b can, but she n kj din wanna play separately, so i had 2 ask u, if u wanna play mj 2nite instd n swim tml... but u said no... u said aaron comin 2 play mj tml so u rather swim 2dae n play mj tml... so i told mich, sorry cannot cos u wanna swim, n tt also means i haf 2 go swimmin 2 n ere'll only b mich, cam n kj left 2 play mj... so cannot la... but i felt quite bad cos mich was quite sad all, in fact all 3 of us r in pretty bad shape... mich broke up w/ ed, i broke up w/ phil n u got ur work stress... mich rilly wanted 2 play 2nite cos she din haf any other plans n she'd end up tinkin of stuff she doesnt wan 2 at hme... tts y she called u 2 ask if cam n kj confirm can play 2nite, will u mind if we played mj instd of swimmin... n u said u wun mind... so whn cam said tt she n kj confirm can play n can also play separately 2 since u din wanna play mj, so i decided 2 go play mj w/ em, since u already said tt it was fine w/ u tt we played mj 2... so whn i told u abt it, u got unhappy... but do u even noe y i felt tt we shou play mj instd??

2dae was e only day mich cou play mj w/ us...

u cou play mj w/ us 2dae, fri n sat...

whn mich broke up w/ ed on tue, i refused 2 go dwn town 2 meet her n rather u guys come dwn pw 2 hang... u scolded me 4 bein calculative n a bad fren... i realised i was wrong n so 2dae, i tot e rite tin 2 do was 2 play mj w/ mich instd...

we can alwiz go swimmin another day, we did cancel our swimmin on tue jus 2 b w/ mich rite??

so whn i told u tt we playin mj 2nite instd u got all unhappy... n i din noe hw 2 make u c all tt, cos maybe me sayin it doesnt mean anytin 2 u... so i called mich 2 complain tt u're unhappy abt it, tt u dun c y we're playin mj instd of swimmin... n so i tot it wou b beta if mich called u 2 tell u e above so tt tins wou b beta... call me selfish, but i dun wanna b blamed 4 sumtin dis way!! i refuse 2 b accused of bein at fault 4 cancellin our swimmin plans!! e only tin i fuckin hate abt myself is 4 bitchin!! 4 alwiz alwiz bitchin!! cos whn she called u, she told u tt i said u were unhappy!! of cos u'd noe tt i called her 2 call u!! me n my bloody bitchin mouth shou jus go 2 hell!! tins got worse n u were jus angry at me n i rilly din noe hw 2 explain 2 u anymore cos u were in a v foul mood already n tellin u anytin more wouldnt make u any happier... so i jus finally shut up... but again... i had 2 go on fumin, n bitchin abt e whole situation... n bein sooooo angry n shit...

n 2dae rilly isnt a gd day at all... w/ all e built up anger 4 everytin, i had 2 come hme 2 my hse dr w/ e key still hangin at e key hole... my sis 4got 2 pull out e dr key aft she got hme jus nw... n since i was scolded by my parents b4 tt 4 4gettin 2 close e gate aft sendin mich off 2 e bus stop ytd, dis is e 2nd time dey caught me, i immediately complained 2 my dad tt my sis 4got 2 pull out e key again 2dae, dis is her i dunno hw many times 2!! n she came out 2 of cos defend herself n said tt she was tired 4m work all tts y, n den she went on by sayin tt leavin e gate opn was more dangerous!! wch i rilly dun tink so... i mean even if ppl can pass thru e gate, ere's no way ey can get in2 e hse cos every window n dr ard e hse wou b locked... but if u left e key at e dr, anybody can jus climb over e stupid gates n opn e dr w/ e key hangin on it n come rite in2 e hse rite?!?! but wateva!! i'm jus so mad!! so mad tt ere's so much bloody conflicts n shit!! dis is deja vu actually... i rmb i felt s mad s dis b4 bcos of all ese shitty conflicts goin on!! n its jus so frustratin!! i hate ese kinds of stupid conflicts!! even if it's solved, it'll jus keep comin back in e future 2!! i feel so irritated by tt tot, tt i rilly tink i shou jus kill myself so tt i dun haf 2 face it anymore!!!!

but tts nt gonna hap is it... its against my fuckin stupid principals!! fuck!!! so it stil boils dwn 2 me n my bitchin ass mouth!! i shou jus shut e fuck up rite!??! i shou never tok abt anytin i'm unhappy abt anymore rite?? i may haf nutin 2 ever say again cos all i've bn doin all my life is bitch tokin...

i shou rilly blif in tt karma tin, cos it rilly is true isnt it?? i bitch n bitch n it comes back 2 me in e forms of conflicts n shit... nw i noe y... its all my bloody fault tt phil wou leave me n cheat on me n all... cos tts karma... i bitch abt him neglectin me all e time even b4 we 1st broke up... tts y he broke up w/ me!!! den even whn we got back, i jus cont 2 bitch abt hw cold he was 2 me, tts y he cheated on me!! its all dis fuckin tin called karma!! each time i bitch, i'm ret w/ a bad consequence!!

so dis is it, i haf 2 stop bitchin... i tink i shou nt opn my mouth 4 a start...

my work

2006-04-27T16:42:00.000+08:00

ha... so i lied in my comment... who cares... haha... anyway, i jus feel like i haf 2 blog abt everytin tt haps... heh... its like hwk 2 me already or sumtin...

so ytd was day 2 of workin 4 my dad... n guess wat?? i woke up 2 n empty hse... -_-" my 1st job of tt day was, steamin sum siew mai... haha... i'd never bother doin so much jus 2 eat actually, but since everytin was pretty much prep out 4 me, like e pots n stuff... n e only tin i had 2 do was boil water n throw e siew mai in 4 steamin...

job 2, nutin else was given aft tt actually... wahahah... so i jus did my own stuff again... translated my blog's song actually... den rite b4 i was goin out 2 meet mich 4 gym, my dad comes hme... -_-" abit e late rite... so anyway, day 2 of my work ended, n outin w/ mich started... doh we din do much la... i'm tired 4m havin 2 wake up early in e mornin everyday, n she had work at 6am e nxt day... so we jus did gym, ate n shopped a lil... both had no $$ anyway... haha... T_T

day 3, i finally woke up 2 c my dad ard, runnin his lil errands n shoutin over e phone at e bankers whom made a mistake or sumtin... n i tink i finally did sum ril work... handlin e visa my dad needed 2 apply 2 go japan cos he's indonesian... hmmm.. ok... tt wasnt ril work aftall... cos ey're jus goin ere on hols... wahahah... n all i did was make a call 2 find out hw much's e visa fee n wat docs r req n also e-mailed my cousin whom ey're plannin 2 stay w/ ere... nw's quite a gd time 2 go japan actually... w/ e currency rate nw, u can get 100 yen at only S$1.39... unlike last time whr its 100 yen 4 S$1.51... ^_^ but like tt matters 2 u anyway... -_- haha...but nw's a gd time 2 go anywhr la cos our currency so strong n, everytin everywhr else will look cheap!! wahaha... XD

so ya... tts abt e updates so far... feel updated enuff justine?? haha... XD

maroon 5

2006-04-27T13:23:00.000+08:00

songs abt jane

1. Harder to Breathe
2. This Love
3. Shiver
4. She Will Be Loved
5. Tangled
6. The Sun
7. Must Get Out
8. Sunday Morning
9. Secret
10. Through With You
11. Not Coming Home
12. Sweetest Goodbye

uploaded ese songs on my multiply.com... its such a coincidence... but... WATEVA... i hate 2 hear e word "wateva" e most 4m ppl cos i felt it rilly hurt like fuck each time tt word was pasted on my forehead... it became till a pt whr i never used tt word on another bein at all... but instd only on tins or situations... so... WATEVA........

2 tired

2006-04-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

2 tired 2 blog.. eyes hurt 2 much......